# Wildly unsuitable songs for striptease acts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 15, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608 "2004-01-15T17:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/21 "2004-01-15T19:14:04Z")
What, no mention of “Daddy’s Little Girl”, or “Butterfly Kisses?” How about _Ave Maria_? -oh wait, that was said. Uh, the theme song from _Sesame Street_ or _Won’t You Be My Neighbor_ would be extremely disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/22 "2004-01-15T19:16:20Z")
My first thought was “It’s A Pig” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s show “By Jeeves.” Obscure and inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![yellowcakesolid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/cdc98d/32.png) [@yellowcakesolid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowcakesolid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/23 "2004-01-15T20:58:43Z")
1. Although you could probably dance/strip to it, “A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying” by the Bloodhound Gang comes to mind for lyrics. 2. Any Irish drinking song would be pretty tough, especially if the audience participated by shouting out the chorus. 3. William Shatner’s “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” would also be pretty tough. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/24 "2004-01-15T21:10:20Z")
Bill Withers’ **Grandma’s Hands** would be a bit creepy. And a novelty song from the late 50s or early 60s. **Transfusion** by “Nervous Norvus” Oh, and Larry Verne’s **Please Mr. Custer**. Seriously weird. Peter, Paul and Mary **The Wedding Song** The Carpenters **We’ve Only Just Begun** Must. Stop. Now. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/25 "2004-01-15T21:32:12Z")
> [@Exapno Mapcase](#): > > I just posted this in another thread, but it works just as well here: > > Janis Ian’s “At Seventeen.” Heh, _At Seventeen_ was the first in my mind as well. The second? _Jesus Loves Me_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/26 "2004-01-15T21:42:07Z")
“Entrance of the Gladiators”. Unless you’re into that whole naughty clown/balloon play fetish. “I’m My Own Grandpa”. West Virginia, Arkansas, and Alabama strippers excepted. “Drunken Sailor”. Even the electric folk version by Captain Tractor seems wrong. _"Shave his belly with a rusty razor/ Shave his belly with a rusty razor/ So early in the morning…_. doesn’t get me all hot and bothered, YMMV. “War in Peace” - Skip Spence. Too slow, too long, too spacy, too meandering. “Sam Stone” - John Prine. Slow songs about heroin addicted war vets aren’t conducive to booby shaking, IMO. “You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd” and “Husbands and Wives” - Roger Miller. One is too goofy and the other is a laidback rumination about failing marriages. “Mrs. Brown (You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter)” - Herman’s Hermits. Lots of Tom T. Hall songs like “Who’s Gonna Feed Them Hogs”, “Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine”, “I Love”, "One Hundred Children, “Homecoming” , “That’s how I Got to Memphis”, and tons more. Between the man’s voice, the tempo of most of his songs, and the subject matter not much to inspire pole dancing. “Welfare Line” - Buck Owens. Among others of his, if only for his voice. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/27 "2004-01-15T21:43:38Z")
_Amazing Grace_. The bagpipe version. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/28 "2004-01-15T21:44:45Z")
[Joey voice] \*Songs? \* You guys know there’s naked chicks, right?[/Joey voice] ---
**Author:** ![summerjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@summerjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/summerjack)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/29 "2004-01-15T21:47:04Z")
“The Crying Game” ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/30 "2004-01-15T22:01:41Z")
Gilette - “Short, Short Man” The Village People - “In the Navy” ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/31 "2004-01-15T22:07:22Z")
“I’m a Little Teapot” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/32 "2004-01-15T22:11:01Z")
_We Are the World_ ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/33 "2004-01-15T22:14:00Z")
> [@Hometownboy](#): > > **Transfusion** by “Nervous Norvus” There have been many good suggestions so far, but this is the one that made me laugh out loud. (The Cantina song came close, though.) Pass the blood to me, spud. Another thought: **“Stan” by Eminem.** I think that would just come across as creepy. Oh, and another: **Barry Sadler’s “Ballad of the Green Berets”**. No rhythm, no sexy lyrics, just a stately march. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/34 "2004-01-15T22:18:24Z")
Gospel standard “Rock of Ages” “Kill the Poor” - Dead Kennedys “Honey” - Bobby Goldsboro “DOA” - Bloodrock “Don’t Fear the Reaper” - Blue Oyster Cult ---
**Author:** ![DaveX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@DaveX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveX)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/35 "2004-01-15T22:21:16Z")
I don’t know if **Isla** has spent much time in strip clubs, but Pantera seems to be a staple… at least around my neck of the woods. And **Guinistasia** beat me to it. Except that I actually saw a stripper perform to ‘Butterfly Kisses’ once. It was as awful and awkward as you would expect… ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/36 "2004-01-15T22:50:51Z")
Baby Elephant Walk. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/37 "2004-01-15T22:53:06Z")
**American Pie** , **MacArthur Park** , Handel’s **Halleluiah Chorus** , Beethoven’s **Fifth Symphony** , **Why Don’t We Do It In The Road**. There are soooo many, really. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/38 "2004-01-15T23:00:59Z")
“Road to Hell” - Chris Rea “I’d do anything, but I won’t do that” - Meatloaf Ode to Joy from Beethoven 9, with Clockwork Orange manic grin :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/39 "2004-01-15T23:01:37Z")
Years ago, I went to a strip club and actually saw a dancer perform to **Zombie** by The Cranberries. That has stuck with me as the most inappropriate song to strip to, ever. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/40 "2004-01-15T23:35:17Z")
Southern gospel music in general, but I’ll say any a capella or gospel vocal group version of “Workin’ on a Building”. Gregorian chant not tricked out by Enigma or other New Age or electronica types. “Hello Mutha, Hello Fadda” - Allan Sherman A Chipmunks cover of anything or “The Chipmunk Song”. David Seville version of “Witch Doctor”, same thing/same artist pretty much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=3)