# Wildly unsuitable songs for striptease acts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 15, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608 "2004-01-15T17:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/81 "2004-01-16T16:20:51Z")
How about _Kumbaya_… where all the guys in the audience are holding hands and singing? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/82 "2004-01-16T16:23:49Z")
For some reason, the first song that popped into my head was **Three Coins in a Fountain**. :dubious: And any song by the **Counting Crows**. Unless after the strip club you want to drive your car into a concrete wall, of course. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/83 "2004-01-16T16:26:44Z")
Hava Nagila ---
**Author:** ![facil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@facil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/facil)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/84 "2004-01-16T16:28:36Z")
I think that Ludacris’ “_The Hoe Song_” would be a horrible song to strip to. It’s has a decent beat, but think about it. It would probably give the wrong impression. Then I heard the Bill Withers classic,“_Lean on Me_”. Yeah, thats the one. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/85 "2004-01-16T17:03:21Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > “I’m a Little Teapot” That was my first thought…then I realized “here is my handle, here is my spout” might work somehow. Then I started hating my brain. I’m going with old Disney songs. Well, many old Disney songs. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/86 "2004-01-16T17:05:51Z")
I’m not sure whether ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ would be wildly inappropriate or curiously suitable. Sort of a grandiose, triumphant strip. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/87 "2004-01-16T17:14:27Z")
It is seriously disturbing that someone else would come up with _The Ballad of the Green Berets_. 🙂 Any of the Gregorian Chants might be interesting. _Pictures of Lily_ by the Who would be singularly appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/88 "2004-01-16T17:14:27Z")
Well, I guess I should have checked this thread sooner. Songs I’ve seen mentioned here that I’ve seen strippers dance to- “Papa Don’t Preach”, “Short Short Man” and “The Jack”. I’ve danced to “The Chipmunk Song”- it was right around Christmas time, and the girls had to have one Christmas song in their set. I’ve also danced to the short version of “Inna Gadda da Vida”. Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” comes to mind as an inappropriate song- that I’ve danced to. I also used to dance to “Zombie Stomp” by Ozzy Osbourne. When I was at the Lipstick Lounge, my last set of the night would consist of- “Love Potion Number Nine”- the Coasters “Gimme Dat Ting”- Wolfman Jack “Spiders and Snakes”- whoever that was by “Along Came Jones”- the Coasters again “The Streak”- Ray Stevens I was considered a bit strange by my coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Interior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@Lux\_Interior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Interior)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/89 "2004-01-16T17:56:40Z")
> [@](#): > > One would think that “Smack My Bitch Up” would be wildly inappropriate, yet dancers at one club I know of actually ask the DJ to play it. Along those lines would be _The Breakup Song_ by **Ben Fold’s Five**. But then the lyrics, “Give me my money back, give me my money back, you bitch!” might be appropriate in some cases. Or, maybe _I’m a Believer_ as performed by **The Monkees**. “Then I saw her [insert anatomical part], now I’m a believer!” ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/90 "2004-01-16T18:02:51Z")
“Seventeen” by Winger ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/91 "2004-01-16T19:01:36Z")
How about the theme from _Jeopardy_? “Thank Heavens for Little Girls” would be rather creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/92 "2004-01-16T19:22:20Z")
I am now officially torn between _Take This Job and Shove It_, and _How Much is That Doggie in the Window?_ And I may be the only one who finds the idea of Barney stripping to the tune of “I Love You, You Love Me/This Old Man” to be strangely erotic. I hope I am the only one, that is. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/93 "2004-01-16T19:28:41Z")
All of MJ, IMO. He has fast beats, and even mildly racy lyrics, but a woman moonwalking while disrobing is unsexy. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/94 "2004-01-16T19:36:38Z")
> [@Thea Logica](#): > > I’ve danced to “The Chipmunk Song”- it was right around Christmas time, and the girls had to have one Christmas song in their set. "Next up - for your holiday enjoyment, **Theo Logica** and her unique rendition of [Christmas Shoes!"](http://www.lyricsstyle.com/n/newsong/thechristmasshoes.html) (Wild applause) Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/95 "2004-01-16T19:45:21Z")
“She’s too fat for me” or any other polka music. (As opposed to poke-her music :D) ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/96 "2004-01-16T20:01:21Z")
> [@noname](#): > > All of MJ, IMO. He has fast beats, and even mildly racy lyrics, but a woman moonwalking while disrobing is unsexy. I remember some ladies doing rather well with MJ music. The era between the Jackson 5 and Thriller. Songs like: Don’t Stop 'Til You Get Enough, Rock With You, Working Day and Night, Dancing Machine, etc. But yeah, most of his newer stuff just wouldn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/97 "2004-01-16T20:15:19Z")
“A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying”, Boodhound Gang ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/98 "2004-01-16T20:30:52Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > **The Battle Hymn of the Republic.** I dunno. Might work. (thinking about Madelyn Kahn in feathered lingerie, coming her hair and singing as she prepares for bed) “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.” RRrrrroooowww! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/99 "2004-01-16T20:40:23Z")
Two songs that popped into my head almost immediately are: “They’re Coming to Take Me Away”, and "Funeral March of a Marionette[the Alfred Hitchcock Show theme] And for the incredibly sick, twisted and demented, _drumroll, please_ “Mother”. From which I quote a few lines: _M is for the many things she gave me, O means that she only growing old T is for the tears she shed to save me…_ :eek: [can’t go on, bile rising, nausea imminent, projectile vomiting loaded and at the ready…] ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/100 "2004-01-16T21:35:44Z")
_Alice’s Restaurant_ - I’ve getting excited just thinking about that one. _Marry the Man Today_ from _Guys and Dolls_ - Not only patently undanceable, but expressing a sentiment that would probably drive away most of the customers. _Father and Daughter_ by Paul Simon - Electra complex, anybody? _Tom Dooley_ - or just about any other song by The Kingston Trio. _Sink the Bismarck_ by Johnny Horton - Yes, there’re several references to “going down”, but they’re not supposed to be sexy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=6)