# Wildly unsuitable songs for striptease acts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 15, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608 "2004-01-15T17:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/121 "2004-01-18T05:34:46Z")
So **Thea Logica** are we to ass-u-me that you used to be a dancer? Also my pics: Sixteen Tons Monster Mash Do you hear (what I hear) Fatherland Meeskite I’ll let you straddle me while the edmund song goes on Biff NAked I love myself today (THOSE stripclubs done got runned out of town) Phantom 309 born to hand jive Sweet Transvestite not to mention how depressing eddie would be hound dog ghoast riders in the sky roses cantina the accountancy shanty big john battle of new orleans rawhide money (cabaret) anything from willy wonka eastbound every sperm is sacred greased lightning harper valley pta Good ones runaround sue habanera Abord the good ship venus Toucha toucha touch me would be cool I can make you a man Convoy / C’mon Ride the Train you’re the one that i want paradise by the dashboard light kawliga cotton eye joe shake your groove thang downtown WTF? I just realized, WHO actually is listening to the music at a S-T-R-I-P–C-L-U-B * * * All these new pages and yet no barfy smiley. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/122 "2004-01-18T06:55:52Z")
> [@blasphmer](#): > > So **Thea Logica** are we to ass-u-me that you used to be a dancer? I haven’t always been a nice Catholic girl… Other not necessarily strippropriate songs I’ve danced to… “Stormbringer” and “Smoke on the Water”- Deep Purple - which got me nearly suffocated by CO2 fog once. “Lump”- the Presidents of the United States… “Everything About You” by Ugly Kid Joe The original version of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” “Horse With No Name”- America That last, I had fun with once- I had chosen it as the first song of my set, not knowing that the dancer before me had chosen it as last song of her set. The jukebox wouldn’t play two songs off the same CD in a row, let alone the same song twice. Anyhoo, I heard the intro to my first song, got onstage, and then realized the other girl wasn’t picking up her tips and clothing and leaving the stage. After conferring briefly, we danced to the song together. Oh, and people actually do listen to the music in strip clubs sometimes. In one of the bars I worked at, a high percentage of the clientele was middle aged ex-hippies and aging bikers. I made a lot of tip money based on my choice of music- I tended to dance to late '60’s-early '70’s psychedelic rock and heavy metal. “Sunshine of Your Love” was one of my staples. And “Suffragette City” once netted me a $5 tip. ---
**Author:** ![Nanook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nanook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanook)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/123 "2004-01-18T16:23:01Z")
The Ballad of Sweeney Todd ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/124 "2004-01-18T16:27:27Z")
> [@Thea Logica](#): > > The original version of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” > “Horse With No Name”- America Good grief but these conjure up some funny images. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/125 "2004-01-18T17:03:17Z")
Clapton’s _ **Tears from Heaven** _ ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/126 "2004-01-18T17:03:40Z")
Err…surprised no one mentioned a boy named sue. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/127 "2004-01-18T17:24:30Z")
“Turn! Turn! Turn!” by the Byrds. Anything by Sigur Ros would be a bit too dreamy and boring for anybody to dance to. And a lot of Radiohead songs- “High and Dry”, “Fake Plastic Trees”, “Creep”, “How to Disappear Completely”…everyone would be depressed and leave. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/128 "2004-01-18T17:25:43Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Clapton’s _ **Tears from Heaven** _ Oh christ, that is so funny! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/129 "2004-01-18T21:33:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Err…surprised no one mentioned a boy named sue. But I did. My sympathies, as I said the same thing about “Lola”, which someone else had already posted. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/130 "2004-01-18T21:34:59Z")
I’ve always had this weird (and oddly detailed) fantasy that I drove up to Pennsylvania Dutch country, found a secret Amish strip bar, and watched a girl with light brown hair, no tan and no makeup strip to the strains of Aaron Copland’s “Shaker Melody.” There’s more, but this just isn’t the right forum. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Bee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Larry\_Bee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Bee)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/131 "2004-01-19T00:31:44Z")
Led Zeppelin’s **The Crunge** , the most undanceable funk imaginable. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/132 "2004-01-19T07:11:52Z")
Suicide is Painless ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/133 "2004-01-19T07:34:14Z")
Powerhouse (but _Baby Elephant Walk_ and _God is Watching Us (From a Distance)_ are my favorites so far.) ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/134 "2004-01-19T08:34:00Z")
**Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes** (_“Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I’ll not ask for wine…”_) **Silver Threads Among The Gold** (_“Darling I am growing older. Silver threads among the gold.”_) Those would be terrible. . .unless somebody opens a club for senior citizens called something like “The Grinding Grannies.” I can see it now. Support hose and girdles being tossed to the customers, who fall out of their wheel chairs trying to grab them. Dentures falling into beer mugs as slack jaws drop. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TERRA\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TERRA\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TERRA_Rising)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/135 "2004-01-19T11:44:03Z")
I guess the worst song I ever heard at a strip club was “That’s Amore” by Dean Martin. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/136 "2004-01-19T20:46:32Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > … **The Battle Hymn of the Republic.** _Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord/ It was great and white and sticky and it got all on the floor…_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/137 "2004-01-19T23:05:15Z")
the “Horst Wessel” song, and any North Korean paens to the “Great Leader” or “Dear Leader” “Happy Families,” “Bungalow,” “Books are Burning,” “Sacrificial Bonfire” – XTC “Amplifier” – the dB’s _(Danny went home and killed himself one night…)_ “Infected” – The The “Stuart” – The Dead Milkmen “Drugs,” “Electricity” – Talking Heads “U-G-L-Y” – Fishbone “Meat Is Murder” – The Smiths Did “The Golden Girls” TV show have a theme song? ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/138 "2004-01-23T22:16:14Z")
The wheels on the bus go round and round My Funny Valentine The old gray mare (she ain’t what she used to be) Don’t sit under the apple tree (with anyone else but me) Nothing Compares to you (sinead oconner) Dils - Class War Morrissey - Everyday is like Sunday ---
**Author:** ![okielady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/fbc32d/32.png) [@okielady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okielady)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/139 "2004-01-24T21:09:39Z")
When I was dating my ex husband, an ex girlfriend of his came over. She wanted to get his opinion on a dance that she was going to perform for the owners of a strip club. She was trying to get a job there. Obviously with me there, she didn’t actually strip. I of course thought it was pretty damn inappropriate of her to ask him to do this, especially with me sitting right there. Aside from that, she was FAT. Hell, I’M fat, but I’m not trying out for a stripper job. ANYWAY, this girl danced (and very POORLY at that) to “Walking in Memphis” by Marc Cohn. Horrible. Frightening. It was like the stripper version of the first round of American Idol auditions. That would be a poor choice for a stripper song for anyone, but even more so for a grossly overweight 19 year old girl who can’t dance. Nightmares are created from situations like this. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/140 "2004-01-24T21:49:38Z")
The Pepto Bismo song! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=8)