# Will fist fights in Congress happen soon? **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [December 13, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937 "2012-12-13T17:37:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/21 "2012-12-14T03:55:31Z")
> [@](#): > > I say they should start having literal pissing contests. That’ll teach those lady legislators to enter a man’s world! You really think men have a shadow of a chance against women in a pissing contest? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/22 "2012-12-14T15:53:54Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > You really think men have a shadow of a chance against women in a pissing contest? Judged on distance, yes. Judged on volume, yes (men having larger bodies, therefore larger bladders). Is there any other traditional criterion? ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/23 "2012-12-14T16:10:02Z")
Unlikely, as it would require more than one Congresscritter to be in the chamber at any given time. In other words, fist-fights would intrude on time better used for fundraising. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/24 "2012-12-14T16:14:11Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [It’s happened before.](http://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/minute/The_Caning_of_Senator_Charles_Sumner.htm) The best part of that story is how Brooks displayed his essential chickenshit nature when challenged to a duel by Anson Burlingame (R-Mass.). ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/25 "2012-12-14T16:34:01Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Judged on distance, yes. Judged on volume, yes (men having larger bodies, therefore larger bladders). Is there any other traditional criterion? IME the women would win on frequency. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/26 "2012-12-14T17:22:19Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Maybe McConnell will punch himself in the nose. Hey, I would love to see Mitch McConnell get his ass handed to him by Harry Reid, [who was a boxer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Reid#Early_life.2C_education.2C_and_early_career) and boxing coach. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/27 "2012-12-14T18:28:56Z")
Actually, women can achieve much greater distance than men. Though men do have the advantage of better aim. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/28 "2012-12-14T18:36:57Z")
If we sat down to pee, like sensible people do, aim wouldn’t even enter into it. Like hell I will. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/29 "2012-12-14T18:49:37Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > But if that happens it’ll be over in a day and that’s no fun. In keeping with the maturity and dignity we’ve come to expect from Congress, I say that they should be issued Nerf guns. I support this proposal, and would like to vote to bring to the floor for debate. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/30 "2012-12-15T00:48:16Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Judged on distance, yes. Judged on volume, yes (men having larger bodies, therefore larger bladders). Is there any other traditional criterion? Higher up on the garage door. (“No hands!”) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/31 "2012-12-15T03:42:39Z")
I’d DEFINITELY watch C-SPAN if it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/32 "2012-12-15T03:58:50Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > Unlikely, as it would require more than one Congresscritter to be in the chamber at any given time. In other words, fist-fights would intrude on time better used for fundraising. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’d DEFINITELY watch C-SPAN if it happens. I would too. The more than one Congressperson thing, not the fistfight thing. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/33 "2012-12-15T06:39:22Z")
Wouldn’t fist fights in Congress be a Capitol offense? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/34 "2012-12-15T06:49:01Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > Wouldn’t fist fights in Congress be a Capitol offense? \ ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/35 "2012-12-16T00:24:18Z")
\ ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/36 "2012-12-16T01:28:41Z")
There have been fist fights in the Taiwanese Parliament and they are still functioning. That said, I hope that neither the House or Senate sink to that level. We need to pull together. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/37 "2012-12-16T02:28:34Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Hey, I would love to see Mitch McConnell get his ass handed to him by Harry Reid, [who was a boxer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Reid#Early_life.2C_education.2C_and_early_career) and boxing coach. Reminds me of that scene in Up where the two geezers duke it out. In real life I think the result would be broken hips for both of them. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/38 "2012-12-16T15:38:20Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > But if that happens it’ll be over in a day and that’s no fun. In keeping with the maturity and dignity we’ve come to expect from Congress, I say that they should be issued Nerf guns. I propose a friendly amendment for paintball. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/39 "2012-12-16T17:25:12Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Hey, I would love to see Mitch McConnell get his ass handed to him by Harry Reid, [who was a boxer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Reid#Early_life.2C_education.2C_and_early_career) and boxing coach. > [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Reminds me of that scene in Up where the two geezers duke it out. In real life I think the result would be broken hips for both of them. Naw, McConnell would filibuster. No decision is reached, nothing gets accomplished and the crowd is left unsatisfied. \ Damn, even my fantasies are stuck in real life. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937/40 "2012-12-16T17:39:02Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > Naw, McConnell would filibuster. No decision is reached, nothing gets accomplished and the crowd is left unsatisfied. I’m thinking something much more on the lines of Buzz Aldrin decking Bart Sibrel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-fist-fights-in-congress-happen-soon/643937.md?page=3)