# Will My Baby (or I) EVER Sleep Again? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 21, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111 "2011-02-21T14:10:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/61 "2011-02-22T15:27:22Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > **constanze** , doctors are not a monolithic entity, Yes, I know, US doctors have a very different view than German doctors, so the discoveries made here don’t count. > [@](#): > > and while some of them do believe and teach as you say, some of them don’t. The current recommendation in the US from the American Academy of Pediatrics is strongly \*\*against \*\*co-sleeping, as they believe it’s associated with a higher incidence of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) > > [http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;105/3/650](http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;105/3/650) That sounds like co-sleeping on too soft mattresses or impaired adults. The best method I’ve seen are the side-beds mentioned already, with their seperate mattress that latch onto the side of the adult bed. Co-sleeping on a sofa is not the recommended form I was thinking of! Besides, last I heard about SIDS is that they think it might be a weakness in the blood vessels in the neck. Doctors want to use some new tech gizmo to scan (Infrared, I think) the necks of newborns to spot those babies at higher risk. > [@](#): > > And as for the crying issue, the AAP recognizes that dealing with a crying infant is incredibly stressful, and will sometimes lead to infant abuse. In their physician module on addressing crying with a new baby, they advise healthcare workers: > [http://www.aap.org/practicingsafety/Modules/Crying/CopingwithCrying.pdf](http://www.aap.org/practicingsafety/Modules/Crying/CopingwithCrying.pdf) Um, excuse me. Taking a fifteen-minute break when crying drives you beserk is not the thing I was talking about. Rather, the advice so far has been to let the baby cry through the whole night!, not because it stresses the parents to breaking point, but because the baby will tire out and get used to it. I’ve heard this from old-school ideologues before, they argue more or less openly that the baby is crying on purpose to annoy the parents, and letting it cry for hours will cure it from that behaviour. That’s what I was talking about, and where Doctors are against. In most extreme cases, babies can die from lack of emphatic contact, if only their bodily needs are looked after, but they are not cuddled and held. That’s what the “let them cry, as long as they’re fed” kind of thought leads to. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/62 "2011-02-22T15:29:39Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > Yes, I know, US doctors have a very different view than German doctors, so the discoveries made here don’t count. Why are you posting in such a hostile tone? I never said that German doctors’ discoveries don’t count, only that they are not the only opinions of doctors. _You’re_ the one discounting some doctors’ opinions, I’m saying that there are \*many \*opinions. > [@constanze](#): > > Um, excuse me. Taking a fifteen-minute break when crying drives you beserk is not the thing I was talking about. Rather, the advice so far has been to let the baby cry through the whole night! I have only seen one poster, an admitted non-parent posting tongue in cheek, who proposed that. Ferberizing, sleep training, even “Cry it Out” are \*\*not \*\*synonymous with “cry through the whole night.” ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/63 "2011-02-22T15:51:12Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > Yes, the baby will eventually stop after receiving a deep psychological trauma. The message the baby learns before it can even talk is “I need somebody to hold me, but nobody does. I need to be fed/ changed, but nobody does. My tummy is hurting, so I need a belly rub, but nobody gives me one. Nobody cares about me, nobody loves me, nobody helps me”. > \ > If you want to raise emotionally crippled, insecure people without trust, you start with letting the child cry because it’s good for them, as doctors mistakenly believed in the 50s, and continue with cruel authoritarian discipline. It will fit right into your society. I don’t think anyone here is suggesting that crying is good for babies. Sleep, on the other hand, is not only good, but absolutely necessary for babies. And as they get older, it’s more and more likely that when babies wake up in the middle of the night, what they need is _not_ to be held, or fed, or changed, or have their tummy rubbed, but to just _go back to sleep_. Unfortunately, they don’t know how to just relax into sleep again, so they cry, because they’re awake and they’re unhappy about it. The goal is not to make them cry; the goal is to help them learn to go (and go back) to sleep - in order to get the _huge_ amount of sleep they very much need - even if they have to cry a bit in the process. Babies need to learn to go to sleep on their own, because sleep is also vital for parents. It’s not good for baby if mommy or daddy gets fired from their job or killed in a car crash because they’re exhausted and unable to function. I’ve \*tried \*sleeping next to the baby, and while it doesn’t seem to make any difference in how often he wakes up, I wake up far more often and sleep far less soundly. I would never let my baby cry if he actually needed something. And during the day, when he’s awake, I know that if he’s crying, he does need something, and I attend to him immediately. But when I’ve checked on him time after time, night after night, week after week, month after month, and find that time and again, what he needs is sleep, then it may be that the best thing for me to do is just let him sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/64 "2011-02-22T15:56:55Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > the advice so far has been to let the baby cry through the whole night! In this thread? Where? Is that what happened to you? I can understand why you are passionate about it. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/65 "2011-02-22T16:04:12Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > My post was generalizing because it was a condensed version of the current knowledge of doctors and scientists. Doctors recommend that you DO NOT let a baby cry because it is NOT GOOD for the baby. Doctors recommend that you DO NOT let a small baby sleep alone - in its own room or in the same room, but far away from a parent. There is a very real psychological need for the baby to feel the same primary person they have became atttached to during the first months and year. > > This has nothing to do with how the child will behave at 2 years old. > > These things have been exhaustivly studied in the past decades, using several different methods and fields. It’s not just my perception that “letting a baby cry” or “let it sleep alone” is harmful for the baby. ? My brother and I had our own rooms in the nursery area and slept alone. As far as I know all my cousins of my generation had their own rooms and slept alone. [on my fathers side, there is at least one set of twins on moms side I know grew up sharing a room with each other.] What harm was done to us? We all grew up normal. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/66 "2011-02-22T16:53:20Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You’ve got to be kidding right? Your actual pediatrician recommended Babywise. He must be a heretic. Your baby must be malnourished. Start a thread asking for recommendations for lawyers to sue your doc for malpractice now! 😉 What’s funny is that those two books are at about the opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to how to deal with sleep issues. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/67 "2011-02-22T17:05:47Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I don’t think anyone here is suggesting that crying is good for babies. Sleep, on the other hand, is not only good, but absolutely necessary for babies. And as they get older, it’s more and more likely that when babies wake up in the middle of the night, what they need is _not_ to be held, or fed, or changed, or have their tummy rubbed, but to just _go back to sleep_. Unfortunately, they don’t know how to just relax into sleep again, so they cry, because they’re awake and they’re unhappy about it. The goal is not to make them cry; the goal is to help them learn to go (and go back) to sleep - in order to get the _huge_ amount of sleep they very much need - even if they have to cry a bit in the process. > > Babies need to learn to go to sleep on their own, because sleep is also vital for parents. It’s not good for baby if mommy or daddy gets fired from their job or killed in a car crash because they’re exhausted and unable to function. I’ve \*tried \*sleeping next to the baby, and while it doesn’t seem to make any difference in how often he wakes up, I wake up far more often and sleep far less soundly. I would never let my baby cry if he actually needed something. And during the day, when he’s awake, I know that if he’s crying, he does need something, and I attend to him immediately. But when I’ve checked on him time after time, night after night, week after week, month after month, and find that time and again, what he needs is sleep, then it may be that the best thing for me to do is just let him sleep. Right on, sistah! I must say, for a sleep deprived mama, you have a really good sense of perspective and ability to both identify and articulate what’s important. Hold to that, and you’ll be fine. Far more than specific techniques and labels (co-sleeping, attachment parenting, ferberizing, blah blah blah) what will affect your child and your relationship with your child are your love, your patience, your flexibility and your senses of perspective and humor. Keep it up and you’ll be fine, whether he sleeps in your arms, in a crib, in a swing or in a dresser drawer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/68 "2011-02-22T17:10:28Z")
OP, I’m glad your method made things a bit better. Just stick with it and see if it continues to work. Speaking from personal experience, that’s the nature of the beast - it’s a little bit better the first night and gets better and better over a couple of weeks. If it’s not going to work, babies tend to let you know early on in pretty spectacular (read: loud and long and screamy) fashion. Sounds like yours just needed a little presence. If we put her to bed before we went to sleep, my daughter used to sleep only if you rubbed her butt - I kept expecting a genie to come out. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/69 "2011-02-22T17:10:52Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > Yes, the baby will eventually stop after receiving a deep psychological trauma. The message the baby learns before it can even talk is “I need somebody to hold me, but nobody does. I need to be fed/ changed, but nobody does. My tummy is hurting, so I need a belly rub, but nobody gives me one. Nobody cares about me, nobody loves me, nobody helps me”. How would the baby even know? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/70 "2011-02-22T17:12:40Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > In this thread? Where? > > Is that what happened to you? I can understand why you are passionate about it. That was just me. I can’t stand crying babies and I plan on never checking on them. Whatever it is, it can wait until morning. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/71 "2011-02-22T17:37:44Z")
> [@constanze](#): > > In most extreme cases, babies can die from lack of emphatic contact, if only their bodily needs are looked after, but they are not cuddled and held. That’s what the “let them cry, as long as they’re fed” kind of thought leads to. Thats gonna need a cite… …end up on a rooftop with a rifle at 26, sure whatever. But die from lack of empathic contact…my woo meter just blew up. and as a semi humorous side note, y’all are a bunch of whiners …try going through this with twins…then give me a call.. Drach, dad of twin boys :D, long past the not sleeping phase, now dreading the upcoming wrecking cars phase. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/72 "2011-02-22T17:41:55Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You’ve got to be kidding right? Your actual pediatrician recommended Babywise. He must be a heretic. Your baby must be malnourished. Start a thread asking for recommendations for lawyers to sue your doc for malpractice now! 😉 I would like to see a cite from you that what I’ve written about the dangers of _Babywise_ is wrong and what you’ve written is right. Not your opinion or your anecdotal evidence but actual factual information that the feeding schedule advocated by the Ezzos does not pose serious dangers to an infant’s life. This is not funny at all. My own brother was dehydrated when he was two months old because my idiot grandmother did a lousy job babysitting. He spent ten days in the hospital seriously ill and still suffers the aftereffects of her poor care three decades later. _Babywise_ should be pulled from the shelves because the authors are morons with an agenda that is all about religiously motivated punishment and poorly thought out ideas about child rearing rather than meeting the needs of an infant. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/73 "2011-02-22T17:45:37Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > How would the baby even know? I’m not sure the issue is that the baby knows or not - they certainly won’t remember - but rather of stress hormones and their effect on brain development: [Article by Dr. Sears](http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp). [Another article.](http://www.babble.com/baby/health-and-safety/baby-sleep-training-does-cry-it-out-method-harm-kids/) The challenge is that you can find pretty much any study to prove what you want to prove - for example, the article by Dr. Sears underscored the stress response; the other article (by a group of scientists for mass consumption) underscores that, yes, there is a stress response, but it isn’t sustained for weeks on end, so the response should have little impact on the baby. Ultimately it boils down to what the parent is comfortable with. That said, several parts of the edition of Babywise published in 1995 were called into question because of lack of scientific basis: [cite](http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/unsub.htm). I’m guessing the book was probably updated because there is a) a lot of medical evidence that counteracts the unsubstantiated claims in the book and b) a lot of public uproar (or at least in mothering circles) about the quality of the information in the book. I’m sure the book worked for some people. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the book is a great resource for parenting a newborn. I’ve read _Rich Dad, Poor Dad_. Lots of people swear by it, but it was the single poorest piece of writing I’ve ever seen in my life and many of the principles behind it were pure bullshit. I see Babywise as the same sort of thing. Everyone’s mileage varies, though. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/74 "2011-02-22T18:03:02Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > My own brother was dehydrated when he was two months old because my idiot grandmother did a lousy job babysitting. He spent ten days in the hospital seriously ill and still suffers the aftereffects of her poor care three decades later. Your grandmother was using the Babywise method? Is that when you read the book? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/75 "2011-02-22T18:06:55Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Thats gonna need a cite… > \ > But die from lack of empathic contact…my woo meter just blew up. [Failure to Thrive](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001986) is an actual medical diagnosis that can lead to death, and can be caused by extreme neglect. Not abuse, not withholding of food, but simply not touching a baby or child for an extended period of time is enough to do it. However, again, that’s not what anyone in this thread is talking about. No one is seriously recommending leaving the child unattended to cry for even a single whole night, much less the weeks it takes for neglect to cause Failure to Thrive. And interestingly enough, Failure to [Thrive can be caused by _hypervigilance_, as well as by neglect](http://www.aafp.org/afp/2003/0901/p879.html). ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/76 "2011-02-22T18:21:38Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > I would like to see a cite from you that what I’ve written about the dangers of _Babywise_ is wrong and what you’ve written is right. [http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/](http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/) Still never said if you read the book or not. > [@Parentwisesolutions.com](#): > > A book such as On Becoming Babywise, does not reach world prominence without having raised doubts and suspicions about the wisdom and promised outcomes of other parenting styles. This in turn, fuels much internet contention and desparate accusations about Babywise that are, for the most part, commentaries starkly at odds with reality. Fortunately, the Babywise community can take refuge in the following statistic. When you have four million parents and twice as many children that have successfully utilized the Parent-Directed Feeding recommendations of Babywise, it is very difficult to make a logical or honest argument against the book’s successful track record. > > * * * > > Nonetheless, such popularity and public favor does engender various forms of prevarication and denigration, and a campaign of misinformation by those who feel the displacement of their influence and advice. > > * * * > > We are very confident that when one strips away the internet gibberish, a very clear, caring, and centrist philosophy on infant care emerges. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/77 "2011-02-22T18:31:26Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > _Babywise_ should be pulled from the shelves because the authors are morons Here’s the description of one of the authors: > [@](#): > > Dr. Robert Bucknam is co-author and medical authority for the bestselling On Becoming Babywise, Dr. Bucknam is board certified in Pediatrics, a member in good standing of the AAP, has privileges in three area hospitals, was Chairman of Pediatrics, Avista Hospital, and currently has a thriving four doctor practice of over 15,000 patients. Dr. Bucknam has also been a Adjunct Faculty member at the University of Colorado, School of Medicine, and has many awards and accolades to his credit. I’m guessing his M.D. trumps your medical degree, from where did you say? Other than the opinions of some doctors that have written articles claiming that the methods described in the Babywise book _could_ lead to failure to thrive and the other conditions you listed, can you cite any **actual cases** of children that suffered from parents using the book? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/78 "2011-02-22T18:35:46Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > [http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/](http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/) > > Still never said if you read the book or not. A couple of things, Firstly, she said she read it in post #36. Secondly, using the publisher’s website as a cite for the quality of a book is…lame. Thirdly, it’s the American Society of Paediatrics that suggests that the book is unhelpful and possibly dangerous. Not ‘internet gibberish’. If the method worked for you, that’s fantastic. I don’t think you can argue that it’s a well regarded method by experts though. And the notion that the book has gained ‘world prominence’ is a joke. I had never heard about it before this thread and I’ve been obsessively reading since I got pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/79 "2011-02-22T18:37:10Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Your grandmother was using the Babywise method? Is that when you read the book? No. Unfortunately my grandmother was just an idiot who didn’t think she should feed my brother when he was two months old and hungry. She illustrates what happens when you follow strict feeding schedules that do not take into account the actual needs of the baby. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > [http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/](http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/) > > Still never said if you read the book or not. Yes, I read the stupid book after picking it up at a garage sale for a quarter. The book sucks and so do the Ezzos. Quoting from it does not change the problems with the book. > [@](#): > > [http://ezzo.info/voices.htm](http://ezzo.info/voices.htm) > > The Ezzos and their followers tend to believe that former users and former supporters must have misused or misunderstood his material. But when so many well-intentioned, intelligent parents “misunderstand” instructions in exactly the same way with similar results, it suggests there is a problem with the instructions. Your post still doesn’t negate what the cites I pulled up state about the dangers of the book’s feeding schedule. If there’s even a possibility of a problem why take the slightest chance with your baby’s health? ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111/80 "2011-02-22T18:40:24Z")
**Omar Little** , I remember seeing the cite you provided earlier. Isn’t the author of that Web site one of the authors for the Babywise book? It seems like he’d have a personal stake in promoting his own theories. Also, the Web site seems to indicate that the other creator of the Web site has a masters in theology - do you know what his background is in child development? I’m not asking to be douchey. For what it’s worth (and it’s not worth much, if anything), my husband’s family and much of the rest of the world are mystified about how much time we spend worrying about getting babies to sleep. I was once talking to my father-in-law’s girlfriend about it when my son was a baby and we were visiting India. It had never even occurred to her as a concern, and she has two kids. The blank look on her face was priceless, then she said, “This is actually something you spend a lot of time thinking about? Why? You won’t even have to worry about it in a few years. No wonder parenting is so complicated for you in America!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-my-baby-or-i-ever-sleep-again/572111.md?page=5)