# Will stretching my nostril openings with sharpie accent caps work well? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557 "2014-07-19T21:24:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/41 "2014-07-20T05:19:41Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > Perhaps this is something you should discuss with your doctor. Yeeeeaaah, and not the kind that deal with noses. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/42 "2014-07-20T05:21:53Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Yeeeeaaah, and not the kind that deal with noses. Though, keep the marker caps in when he does. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/43 "2014-07-20T07:03:07Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > If you want a nose that actually looks good with bigger nostrils, see a plastic surgeon. And don’t forget to bring along a pic of Rick Ross, so the doctor knows where you’re going with this. Have you tried carrots? They have a natural progression of diameters. Just bite off the end as you progress. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/44 "2014-07-20T13:31:00Z")
I thought it was just one nostril, and one wedding ring around here. **TogoFan** ’s not into rap, he’s into boogie. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/45 "2014-07-20T13:37:15Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Given your username I can’t believe you passed up the opportunity to suggest pickles instead of marker caps. :eek:Dang! I missed my chance! Hey Togo - Try a couple of those big ol’ Claussen Deli Style Hearty Garlic pickles! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/46 "2014-07-20T13:56:08Z")
\ _Up your nose? With a rubber hose!_ And maybe a **Kotter** pin thru your lips. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/47 "2014-07-20T14:34:43Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Careful before someone busts a cap in your nose. …and with nostrils that short, one good sneeze & the ATF will be after him. “Don’t just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor. And then help me find my nose…!” \* -The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)\* ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/48 "2014-07-20T15:29:48Z")
> [@TogoFan](#): > > When I have the fat caps in my nose I cannot taste worth anything. I have a feeling you have poor taste whether you have caps in your nose or not. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/49 "2014-07-20T15:30:25Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > **TogoFan** ’s not into rap, he’s into boogie. Evil. Pure D evil, you are. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/50 "2014-07-20T15:43:43Z")
[From the body mod forum link](http://forums.bodyartforms.com/showthread.php?67931-Is-it-possible-to-stretch-the-nostril-holes-I-breathe-out-of-And-if-so-how) referenced upthread there are structural complications to what you want to do that make it very different that stretching out earlobes etc. Surgery is the only answer and FWIW I don’t think a caucasian nose with giant nostrils would look quite as cool as you imagine. > [@](#): > > That said, there are muscles and stuff in there. More complicated structures than lobes, anyway. I don’t know enough about stretching to say that they can’t be stretched, but you definitely don’t want floppy nostrils > [@](#): > > The nose in question that you want to have has wider nostrils, but the target nose doesn’t stick out as far from the face, and is overall wider than the standard caucasian nose. If you were to just stretch your nostrils in the same way you stretch other piercings, you’d still have a caucasian style nose with giant nostrils. The look you’re going for would require some major restructuring. I don’t think there’s going to be a DIY method that will get you the look you want, but a plastic surgeon might. Reference noses [There are 14 types… but which one is yours? Scientist’s study classifies different shapes of noses](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2013699/There-14-types-nose--yours.html) ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/51 "2014-07-20T18:40:39Z")
> [@astro](#): > > \ > > Reference noses > [There are 14 types… but which one is yours? Scientist’s study classifies different shapes of noses](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2013699/There-14-types-nose--yours.html) I know that’s a “study” of British noses, but I also know there are a lot of non-white noses in the UK. I wonder why none of those were included in the examples? The OP might want to consider the [progression of Michael Jackson’](http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html)s nose, but in reverse. He started out as a good-looking black guy, and shuffled off this mortal coil looking like a very weird old white lady. ---
**Author:** ![TogoFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TogoFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TogoFan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/52 "2014-07-20T22:07:31Z")
I was born in st petersburg russa. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/53 "2014-07-20T23:29:32Z")
St Petersburg\*? Then prithee\*\*, why would you want specifically the nostrils of someone of a completely different phenotype? Don’t you realize that the result will look ridiculous? Accept that you look like you do, ghostly pallor and all, and go on with your life. - - Almost called it Leningrad, but Putin hasn’t made that correction yet. 😉 \*\* - My Firefox spellchecker allows Elizabethan snark, but says I spell “movie” wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/54 "2014-07-21T02:53:54Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Careful before someone busts a cap in your nose. I have nothing to add (other than “C’mon. REALLY?”) but this ^ > [@panache45](#): > > Have you tried carrots? They have a natural progression of diameters. Just bite off the end as you progress. And this ^ made me LOL in the literal sense. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/55 "2014-07-21T03:00:33Z")
Parsnips are more sturdy than carrots, should the OP want to go the parsnip route. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/56 "2014-07-21T03:19:17Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Parsnips are more sturdy than carrots, should the OP want to go the parsnip route. You bourgeois BASTARD! Parsnips? _ **PARSNIPS?!** _ I’ll see you hung in the square! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/57 "2014-07-21T03:24:40Z")
Not sure if it’s still the case, but the OED used to list something like this as the first instance of the word “smarmy”: _Our forefathers rejected these smarmy overtures, saying “Fair words butter no parsnips.”_ Just a parsnip-related thought. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/58 "2014-07-21T03:27:22Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > You bourgeois BASTARD! > Parsnips? > > _ **PARSNIPS?!** _ > > I’ll see you hung in the square! But they are [seriously fabulous](http://www.food.com/recipe/oven-roasted-parsnips-17407) roasted. But if you insist, a dawn duel in the morning! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/59 "2014-07-21T03:44:58Z")
I shall see you by the swing set, Sirrah! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/60 "2014-07-21T10:56:33Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Parsnips are more sturdy than carrots, should the OP want to go the parsnip route. [AFAICT there are no current parsnip podcasts.](http://www.dailydot.com/lol/jon-eats-carrots-podcasts-show/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557.md?page=4)