# Will stretching my nostril openings with sharpie accent caps work well? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557 "2014-07-19T21:24:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/61 "2014-07-21T18:56:47Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Have you tried carrots? They have a natural progression of diameters. Just bite off the end as you progress. Not necessary. [The snail](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_A2_MH6kNUhY/RfmJbmlqanI/AAAAAAAAAHw/Hzm_oqI1dNs/s640/sssnail.jpg) will get it for you. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/62 "2014-07-21T19:42:46Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > If you’re a white kid with a typically caucasian nose, bigger nostrils won’t give you a nice nose like Rick Ross’s. Bigger nostrils will just give you a white-person nose with big giant flappy nostrils. > > If you want a nose that actually looks good with bigger nostrils, see a plastic surgeon. This, so much. You probably will not succeed in stretching your nostrils using rings, or marker caps, or anything, but if you do, if won’t make your nose wider, which is what you want. Your nose will look like it does now, except the fleshy sides of your nostrils will puff out when the rings are in, and sag when they are out. Why do you want to look like this rapper? Or, and I don’t mean to be offensive, but why do you want a “black” nose? Just IMO, while this guy’s nose looks good on him, if you have white skin, and otherwise Caucasian features, a “black” nose will look odd. I have known people who got nose jobs to make their Jewish noses smaller, and the result looked wrong, in a way that was hard to define. Yes, maybe according to some ideal, small nose = attractive, but these people’s noses looked really wrong for their faces. There was nothing wrong with the surgery itself-- the surgeon hadn’t botched it-- they just had the wrong nose for their face. I don’t have any before/after pictures to illustrate, so I’m afraid I’m not making myself clear. Try to find some software online that will let you give yourself a virtual nose job, and see how you really look with a broad nose. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/63 "2014-07-21T20:13:54Z")
As with every other problem, duct tape is the answer. Tape one end on the bridge of your nose, right between the eyes, and attach the other end firmly under your chin - be sure to pull it tight! Voila - instant success! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/64 "2014-07-21T22:01:22Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > I thought it was just one nostril, and one wedding ring around here. > > **TogoFan** ’s not into rap, he’s into boogie. (nosepick) it’s boogER, not boogIE. And yes, I was going to suggest [this method](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=209087), clearly you and I are on the same wavelength on this. The OP obviously does not own a wedding ring, but any inexpensive stainless steel or titanium ring would work better than a Sharpie cap, as well as allowing him to continue breathing. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/65 "2014-07-21T22:22:33Z")
I think they actually call them boogies in England. Not sure where that poster is from, though. Going to puke now. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/66 "2014-07-23T03:28:54Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I have known people who got nose jobs to make their Jewish noses smaller, and the result looked wrong, in a way that was hard to define. Yes, maybe according to some ideal, small nose = attractive, but these people’s noses looked really wrong for their faces. There was nothing wrong with the surgery itself-- the surgeon hadn’t botched it-- they just had the wrong nose for their face. I don’t have any before/after pictures to illustrate, so I’m afraid I’m not making myself clear. I know EXACTLY what you mean. A cute little Irish ski-jump nose in the middle of a strong-featured semitic punim. It looks ridiculous. There’s some doc in Beverly Hills that specializes in Jewish nose jobs - but his thing is that he does some re-shaping and maybe some reduction, but doesn’t gank the whole Jewish character of the thing. Sounds like a good plan. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/67 "2014-07-23T03:37:39Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > I know EXACTLY what you mean. A cute little Irish ski-jump nose in the middle of a strong-featured semitic punim. It looks ridiculous. > > There’s some doc in Beverly Hills that specializes in Jewish nose jobs - but his thing is that he does some re-shaping and maybe some reduction, but doesn’t gank the whole Jewish character of the thing. Sounds like a good plan. I hope Paget Brewster never gets a nose job. I have never seen a big nose look so sexy before. I could actually see women lining up to get their noses made bigger, after her turn on _Criminal Minds_. I’ve got a shnoz, and while I’m in nowise as sexy as she is, it fits my face. I wouldn’t take rhinoplasty as a gift. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/68 "2014-07-24T04:01:41Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > (nosepick) it’s boogER, not boogIE. > > And yes, I was going to suggest [this method](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=209087), clearly you and I are on the same wavelength on this. > > The OP obviously does not own a wedding ring, but any inexpensive stainless steel or titanium ring would work better than a Sharpie cap, as well as allowing him to continue breathing. I was so afraid no one was going to mention that thread. 11 years later, and still my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/69 "2014-07-25T00:08:07Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > (nosepick) it’s boogER, not boogIE. > [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I think they actually call them boogies in England. Not sure where that poster is from, though. Yeah, if you wanted to pick a winner, you’ve missed out there, **Mama Zappa** - s’not ‘boogERs’ here (in Oz), but ‘boogIEs’. Points though, for finding the link I couldn’t be stuffed putting my finger on. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/70 "2014-07-25T04:00:23Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > There’s some doc in Beverly Hills that specializes in Jewish nose jobs - but his thing is that he does some re-shaping and maybe some reduction, but doesn’t gank the whole Jewish character of the thing. Sounds like a good plan. Knew a Jewish woman who was born with a terrible cleft palate–no nose at all. Once the surgeon was done she had the cutest little Semitic nose! It was a work of art. That kind of cosmetic surgeon I respect and honor. Joan Rivers’ surgeon, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/71 "2014-07-25T14:27:46Z")
I just saw an episode of Embarrassing Bodies the other day where they were treating a woman who was born with essentially no vagina. She had normal external genitalia, and then just a little pouch an inch or so in depth. Interestingly, they treated her by giving her a series of, well, dildos, gradually increasing in size. She was instructed to use them to stretch out her pouch into a regular-sized vagina - or at least big enough to use for sex - over a period of many months. So try sticking a dildo up your nose, OP! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/72 "2014-07-25T16:11:52Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I just saw an episode of Embarrassing Bodies the other day where they were treating a woman who was born with essentially no vagina. She had normal external genitalia, and then just a little pouch an inch or so in depth. Interestingly, they treated her by giving her a series of, well, dildos, gradually increasing in size. She was instructed to use them to stretch out her pouch into a regular-sized vagina - or at least big enough to use for sex - over a period of many months. > > So try sticking a dildo up your nose, OP! Yeah, but the vagina is supposed to stretch. Not to put to fine an, umm, point on it, but it’s supposed to hold in a tampon, and yet squirt out a baby. No nostril is supposed to be that versatile. Also, this woman probably had to have some surgery to create an opening to the cervix, unless she didn’t have a cervix and uterus, which is possible-- she may have had androgen insensitivity syndrome, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/73 "2014-07-25T16:41:31Z")
She had no cervix and no uterus. She was wanting a vagina purely for recreational uses. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/74 "2014-07-25T17:24:21Z")
When they’re prescribed by a doctor and paid for by insurance, they’re called “vaginal dilators”, not dildos. 😉 And apparently they hurt like a motherfucking son of a bitch when you need them medically. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/75 "2014-07-25T20:16:45Z")
I would imagine. Roughly as bad as shoving pen caps up your nose. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/76 "2014-07-27T14:21:13Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > but any inexpensive stainless steel or titanium ring would work better than a Sharpie cap, I would like to know where to procure inexpensive titanium rings? ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/77 "2014-07-27T14:38:54Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > (nosepick) it’s boogER, not boogIE. > > And yes, I was going to suggest [this method](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=209087), clearly you and I are on the same wavelength on this. > > The OP obviously does not own a wedding ring, but any inexpensive stainless steel or titanium ring would work better than a Sharpie cap, as well as allowing him to continue breathing. I have just finished reading that old thread you linked to. I laughed so hard that I farted and scared one of the cats out in the kitchen - they were all lying in the sunbeam. The sharp “MEEP!” and scrabbling of claws warned me of his terrified approach long before the food bowl was knocked over and little round kibbles scattered everywhere. I now have to get the broom out and sweep my kitchen floor again - but at the moment the other two cats are playing a good game of hockey with the kibbles so I’ll have to let them finish. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/78 "2014-07-28T06:46:58Z")
Stretching never produces a good result. > **[Stretch marks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stretch_marks)** > > Stretch marks, also known as striae (/ˈstraɪiː/) or striae distensae, are a form of scarring on the skin with an off-color hue. Over time they may diminish, but will not disappear completely. Striae are caused by tearing of the dermis during periods of rapid growth of the body, such as during puberty or pregnancy, in which they usually form during the last trimester. Usually on the stomach, these striae also commonly occur on the breasts, thighs, hips, lower back, and buttocks. Pregnancy-re Str... ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/79 "2014-07-28T11:15:42Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > And apparently they hurt like a motherfucking son of a bitch when you need them medically. ☹ I thought those were those metal rods… the ones used by soft gentle caring hands… to induce cervical dilation and labor. “…So, you told your mother everyone at the nurses station is a Bitch, huh?” _ **JAAAAMMM!** _ “Nope, you’re not there yet. Good thing I brought 40 more…” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557/80 "2014-07-28T13:31:59Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I thought those were those metal rods… the ones used by soft gentle caring hands… to induce cervical dilation and labor. > > “…So, you told your mother everyone at the nurses station is a Bitch, huh?” > > _ **JAAAAMMM!** _ > > “Nope, you’re not there yet. Good thing I brought 40 more…” Those are \*cervical \*dilators, and they’re not used in childbirth - they’re used when you have to get a scope up there. They don’t go anywhere near big enough to dilate for childbirth. Thank the gods. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-stretching-my-nostril-openings-with-sharpie-accent-caps-work-well/693557.md?page=5)