# Will the human race someday have ovens that warp time to make everything cook instantly? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867 "2018-12-09T23:13:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/21 "2018-12-10T12:29:59Z")
I’d rather the smart people figure out how to make chocolate cake and mac and cheese the new health food. ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/22 "2018-12-10T12:44:00Z")
> [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](#): > > Only relevant if we’re serving meatloaf… Oh I can’t wait for this to become a zombie thread. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/23 "2018-12-10T12:57:56Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I’d rather the smart people figure out how to make chocolate cake and mac and cheese the new health food. That was a throwaway gag in Woody Allen’s “Sleeper”. ---
**Author:** ![senoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@senoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senoy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/24 "2018-12-10T15:51:59Z")
This might be the weirdest poll ever. The OP is either positing that we have discovered a way to control time or that we have discovered a way to nearly instantaneously accelerate things to near the speed of light for a reasonable energy expenditure and his/her first thought is, “Huh, now I can get my ramen done in less than three minutes.” It’s either a person that is missing the forest for the trees or someone that is hyper-focused on the pragmatic. “Oh? Ability to travel to nearby star systems? Or the end of aging? That’s neat I guess, but call me when you can make me Digiorno’s in 6 seconds or less, then I’ll be impressed.” ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/25 "2018-12-10T16:09:11Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > I’d rather have a nullentropy storage system so nothing ever goes bad. Stasis fields. Cook all your food at once and put it in the stasis field. Never goes bad or cools off. Of course, Niven never gave any indication exactly how much power it took to create a stasis field. Maybe the cost was more than hiring a full time cooking staff. Who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/26 "2018-12-10T17:17:15Z")
> [@Heracles](#): > > From the point of view of someone from the 1950s, we are living in that future. To be fair, from the point of view of anyone from anytime in the past, this is the future.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/27 "2018-12-10T17:21:55Z")
**NO** ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/28 "2018-12-10T17:39:47Z")
There’s no meaningful “now” in relativity, or at least not how humans think of the concept. But the real problem is that our only real accessible option here is to make the food take _longer_ to cook by accelerating it to a significant portion of the speed of light. Consider the LHC, where they accelerate a proton to around 0.999999990 the speed of light. From our perspective it takes about 20 min to accelerate a proton to that speed but from the proton’s frame of reference that only takes 2 seconds. In theory you could simply put your oven on the second floor while you wait for it on the 1st floor and it would experience time at a faster rate. But the effects are small and even GPS satellites 12,550 miles above only gain about 45 microseconds per day. So the only real option would be to accelerate yourself to a significant portion of the speed of light and “travel” faster in time but I doubt that would result in the intended results and would take a lot more energy than just having a more powerful microwave or better yet just automating an oven to cook on a timer so it is ready when you want it. Plus the Unruh Effect caused by accelerating yourself that quickly _(radiation caused by the event horizon caused by acceleration)_ may make that a bit warm for you to too, but that would depend on if you could accelerate fast enough to arise or if you could survive that acceleration. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/29 "2018-12-10T17:59:24Z")
Yeah, the combo of stasis fields plus trim warp oven would work. The food in the stasis field loses X minutes, it goes in the oven and cooks for X minutes in warp time, it comes out at the current time. Even better would be food you can eat before you put it in the oven to cook. So some food magically appears in the oven, all ready to eat. But you later have to put the original uncooked food into the oven. If you forget, the food in your system disappears and probably not in a good way. The real problem: Everybody singing “Let’s do the Time Warp Again” while using the oven. It’d get old really quick. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/30 "2018-12-10T23:02:49Z")
Can your food use the oven to go back in time and kill Sarah Connor? ---
**Author:** ![NanaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e5b9ba/32.png) [@NanaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NanaMan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/31 "2018-12-11T02:47:24Z")
I think that of course it will happen. Maybe not in 100 or 1000 years. But in 1,000,000 years. Yup. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/32 "2018-12-11T05:20:24Z")
> [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](#): > > Only relevant if we’re serving meatloaf… You took the words right out of my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/33 "2018-12-11T15:44:31Z")
I already have a stove that instantly transmutes bacon into burnt cinders. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/34 "2018-12-11T16:06:04Z")
How the hell should I know? I’m still wrapping my brain around the company that tried to market “slow-cook microwave ovens” back in the early days of the product. What ---- are crock-pots too hard for you to master or are you trying to cook that turkey leg for three weeks while you are away on vacation? What the heck was the point to that? ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/35 "2018-12-11T18:35:56Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Why not just have an oven that directly re-configures the molecular structure of the food to a cooked configuration? Or for that matter, why bother with food as the raw material to begin with? Yeah, this is like someone in the 18th century wondering if we’ll ever breed a horse that can run 100 miles an hour. Obviously not, even though we are able to travel that fast. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2018, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/36 "2018-12-11T19:35:42Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > Yeah, this is like someone in the 18th century wondering if we’ll ever breed a horse that can run 100 miles an hour. Obviously not, even though we are able to travel that fast. No, it is more like someone wondering if we could breed a hundred million ton horse that is six inches tall and floats like a balloon. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/37 "2018-12-12T20:03:36Z")
Just need a closed foodlike curve. ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2018, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/38 "2018-12-12T21:06:58Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Just need a closed foodlike curve. I was going to suggest a “_warm_ hole” would work too…but it sounds so wrong. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2018, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/39 "2018-12-12T23:53:32Z")
I voted no - and if we ever got close to such a technology somebody would fail to close the oven door properly and cause the entire universe to fast-forward to heat death in an instant. …which nobody would actually notice, since everybody would be perceiving universe at the same speed it’s running - but at that point you wouldn’t be able to accelerate time _more_, so none of the time ovens would ever seem to work again. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867/40 "2018-12-13T02:29:45Z")
So the inability to make a time oven work is evidence that someone has invented a time oven? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-human-race-someday-have-ovens-that-warp-time-to-make-everything-cook-instantly/825867.md?page=3)