# Will the issue of divorce scare off men from getting married? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2017, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991 "2017-12-09T04:26:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/21 "2017-12-09T13:12:59Z")
> [@mr\_horsepower](#): > > i say keep the state out of your relationship if you can till the odds of success come back around and start favoring a better potential outcome. This presumes that the odds are the same for every individual, though. It just ain’t so. There is not, and never was, a 60% chance that my marriage would fail. Obviously, we can’t quantify these things anecdotally, but I’d guess closer to 5%. The likelihood that one’s marriage will fail includes several factors within any given couple’s control plus a number of demographic indicators. I don’t care who gets married or why but let’s not pretend everyone’s going in with an equally high risk of failure. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/22 "2017-12-09T13:21:10Z")
Some thoughts: I think not being happy is a fine reason to get divorced Children are no better off - or happier - in a ‘volatile’ household than a ‘broken home’ I suspect when someone says the spouse filed for divorce with no real warning, s/he wasn’t paying attention Not cheating or beating is a pretty low standard for a spouse ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/23 "2017-12-09T13:25:05Z")
I’ve known, and still know a fair number of women my age (50+) who initiate divorces after 20-plus years of marriage. They all have their individual stories as to why, but overall it seems like it’s a combination of empty-nest syndrome, finding their own voice in midlife, and realizing, especially if they’ve been mostly SAHMs, that there’s a whole other life “out there”. Infidelity and/or abuse are very low on the scale, at least among those I know. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/24 "2017-12-09T14:01:23Z")
When I talk with my nephews and other young, single people I always discourage marriage. Divorce is a pain in the ass, and it’s avoidable. Live together for a decade then consider marriage (no common law marriage in PA). That said, when we meet new people my gf introduces me as her husband just to simplify things. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/25 "2017-12-09T14:30:57Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I think y’all misunderstand the nature of marriage. The state doesn’t create marriages, it recognizes them. We need the state to recognize marriages because they are a real thing, independent of the state: two people come together and form a familial relationship. The state needs to recognize marriage for the same reason it needs to recognize that parent/child or sibling relationships are different than friendships. Exactly. Marriage is a construct between two individuals who want to be seen as family. When a state recognizes a marriage, they are filing that person as “family” for the other person. The rest of it is _recognizing what people want when they bring someone into their families_. Marriage laws are simply a codification of the things most people wanted: a set of recognitions, rights, and responsibilities. Here’s the important thing: If the state got rid of state-recognized marriage, that would just mean that people would have to cobble together a similar (or exactly the same) set of recognitions, rights, and responsibilities individually. And it would come to pass pretty darned quickly that “Here is some boilerplate language. Here is a default agreement. Did you want to make any changes to this? Most people don’t.” The divorce process does not create the hurdles of dissolving the previous family relationship. The divorce process is what tackles the previously created hurdles. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/26 "2017-12-09T15:13:02Z")
The State gets involved in marriages for a variety of reasons. Those reasons probably didn’t spring up spontaneously because some bureaucrat decided he needed more petty authority to abuse. Some reasons are; Who gets what stuff when marriage ends depends in part on how it ended. Marriages ending in death have a different distribution of stuff from marriages ending in divorce. People have been known to commit crimes, sometimes capitol crimes, over the distribution of the stuff. Sometimes crimes are committed over the ending of the marriage. Statistically, more kids from divorced households end up on the state dime for one thing or another than kids from non-divorced households. It is in the states interest to be a party to and work to preserve the marriage once it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/27 "2017-12-09T15:25:03Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It scares me off. I am well known on this board for being anti-marriage in general. I believe truly happy marriages exist somewhere but I have only seen direct evidence of a few of them in real life and some of them are probably faking it. I had a happy marriage, it was really “until death”, it wasn’t faked, but I realize that my husband and I were probably exceptions. On the other hand, if you’ve been together for a decade, if you have kids, or property in common some of the legal stuff in marriage has advantages regarding inheritance and medical consent. The fact my husband and I were legally married made both the medical consent issues easier, and certain made his post-death settling of affairs much easier. But, as you note, that’s not romantic and very business-like. I’ve seen some terrible situations where one person in a partnership died and the survivor lost a lot, including their home, because the survivor was left without legal recourse when the deceased’s family rode in, were deemed next of kin, and took possession of everything. The alternative to marriage is to draw up legal documents delineating intentions and wishes, but that costs money and few go that route. I think making divorce a viable option really is preferable to the old days when people who hated each other were shackled to each other for life. As horrible as divorce can be, there are worse situations. Really, though, the problem is that people can truly make a mess of things, even people who started with good intentions. ---
**Author:** ![Kimera757](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimera757/32/3765_2.png) [@Kimera757](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimera757)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/28 "2017-12-09T15:36:12Z")
This is a situation where sex should not be relevant (wealthy women get divorced from poor guys too) but just look at the statistics. Men are more likely to pay both types of support. Men are more likely to “abandon” a former spouse with a child, too. In Ontario, the general rules seem to be: Money and property accumulated **after** marriage (up to the date of separation) is split 50/50. Some people think this is unfair to the wealthier spouse, but I don’t really have a problem with that. If you were supporting a homemaker, don’t forget that the homemaker was also supporting you. Of course this can create conflict, as people try to say this property was bought before they got married, this was a gift, this was a loan, etc. Plus splitting up a house can take a long time, especially if the housing market is slow. They can no longer pool resources, so often the house must be sold and both must rent or move to a smaller house. I tried and failed to understand how this works if you’re common-law. If there’s a significant difference, this might be one reason why common-law is so common compared to marriage. I also don’t know how this interacts with a prenuptial agreement. > [@](#): > > “The value of any property that you acquired during your marriage and that you still have when you separate, must be divided equally between spouses. Property that was brought into your marriage is yours to keep, but any increases in the value of this property during the duration of marriage must be shared.” Link: [Division of Property & Divorce in Canada | Divorce Canada](http://divorce-canada.ca/property-divorce-laws) There are different rules for splitting a house, apparently, although the 50/50 rule applies at least some of the time. If there was a significant difference in income, you have to pay spousal support, generally for a time equal to the length of the relationship, but if you’ve been together for 20+ years, for life. From what I’ve seen a the wealthier spouse might have to contribute 20-25% of their “imputed income” (what the judge thinks your income should be, not necessarily what it actually is, and there are formulas so it’s not completely arbitrary). You get a tax break for this, but it’s still a lot of money, and a lot of people see this as unfair. The spouse receiving the alimony must pay tax on this income. Note that this is **not** including child support, if any. This draws a lot of conflict, because there was ways of cheating, and also ways of getting screwed if you’re honest. A lot of self-employed people will understate their income; it’s easy to get away with it. Even easier if you work under the table. For some reason they’re talking about this in the UK a lot right now. Some people will (cutting off their nose to spite their face, is the expression I think) deliberately work less than they could in order to deny the other spouse spousal support. You can’t squeeze blood out of a stone; if they don’t have money, there’s nothing to give to their ex. If you can fool the judge into thinking this level of income is your “imputed income”, then you’ve won. The poorer ex can deliberately work less than they’re able to to increase the gap between incomes and so get greater spousal support. It’s also not flexible. If the contributing spouse’s income falls, they can apply to the court to reduce the “imputed income”. However, the judge might think this spouse is lying. It will take a long time and cost lawyer’s fees, which might take a long time because the spouse is getting garnisheed for not meeting their obligations on lower income. A wealthier spouse can use this technique to “bully” the poorer spouse (if they’ve been cheating and the poorer spouse takes them to court), because that spouse too has to go to court and pay lawyer’s fees, difficult if they have little money and aren’t getting any (or insufficient) spousal support. In general I am not okay with this aspect of the laws. The relationship is over, including the economic portion. Having said that, if someone was a homemaker for 10 years, and/or their youngest child is too young to go to school full-time, it’s going to be enormously difficult for the former homemaker to find any reasonable job. Finally, there’s child support. Again, rules for “imputed income” with all the ways of cheating. Battles over child custody and the child tax benefit. Having to pay 25% of their income isn’t entirely unknown for the contributing spouse, on top of spousal support. (I played around with online split calculators and usually saw figures of 17-20% when there was a large income gap, with the poorer spouse having full custody of two children.) I wonder if some of the wealthier spouses are paying 40% of their income to alimony and child support. There is no tax benefit for paying child support in Canada, unlike spousal support. (So here people often try to prioritize spousal support over child support. The tax system combines that support, then prioritizes child over spousal support, so you can’t just pay the spousal support and not child support and then collect your credit.) You should support any children you have made, so of course you need to be careful to use birth control. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/29 "2017-12-09T15:40:50Z")
One of the worst things that has happened to the stability of the home/family is the concept of no-fault divorce. Personally, I think that divorce laws should be changed so that if you have kids, you can do the no-fault thing. But if you have a kid, it should be damn near impossible to be divorced. Having that in place would hopefully make people think two or three times before tying the knot. We might have fewer marriages but I think they would be more stable. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/30 "2017-12-09T15:42:16Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > So she filed for divorce and of course, took half his money. There’s no of course in that. The distribution of a couple’s possessions after divorce vary with jurisdiction. And if one lives in one where the basic legal system gives “her” half of “his” money, one can usually make personal arrangements beforehand to prevent that. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > But I think to just up and walk away because say they want to be “free” or they were not happy is just plain wrong. So women should just spend the rest of their life catering to the needs of a man, even if she realizes after a few years that her feelings have changed? To me _that_ is the approach that’s just wrong. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Do you all think this issue will keep men from wanting to get married? No. Except men who shouldn’t be married in the first place. Mind you, someone who in formative years by chance experiences a lot of bad marriages in their little circle of society might develop a skewed and sad impression of relationships and marriage, but going from that to requiring all spouses of whichever gender to show cause before filing for divorce is plain medieval. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/31 "2017-12-09T15:46:22Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > One of the worst things that has happened to the stability of the home/family is the concept of no-fault divorce. Personally, I think that divorce laws should be changed so that if you have kids, you can do the no-fault thing. But if you have a kid, it should be damn near impossible to be divorced. Having that in place would hopefully make people think two or three times before tying the knot. We might have fewer marriages but I think they would be more stable. Why do you care so much about whether people get divorced? If these same people don’t marry, they will just have kids without marrying. Is that better? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/32 "2017-12-09T15:51:49Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > So she filed for divorce and of course, took half his money. Surely you mean _ **their** _ money, right? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/33 "2017-12-09T16:06:09Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > One of the worst things that has happened to the stability of the home/family is the concept of no-fault divorce. Personally, I think that divorce laws should be changed so that if you have kids, you can do the no-fault thing. But if you have a kid, it should be damn near impossible to be divorced. Having that in place would hopefully make people think two or three times before tying the knot. We might have fewer marriages but I think they would be more stable. And how is forcing two unhappy people to remain married beneficial for the kid(s)? Or - anecdote warning - one of my high school friends once asked her mother why she didn’t divorce her dad. Her mother said something to the effect of “we’re staying together for your benefit, dear?” My friend then asked how watching her dad beat and choke her mother a couple times a week, sometimes to the point of unconsciousness, was of benefit for her? Divorce ensued soon after. As I said upthread: there are worse things than divorce. And even if you make people think two or three times before marriage that won’t stop them from having kids, either in or out of marriage. There’s not much difference between divorced parents and parents that were never married - either they’re the sort of people who can put the kids first and settle disagreements like adults, or they’re fodder for the like of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. I’d be totally OK if society emphasized marriage and children less. I think too many people get married and/or have kids because they feel they’re “supposed to” do those things and wind up miserable, and spreading misery. I’ve know probably a dozen couples in my life where they did, indeed, remain together to finish raising their kids but divorced after the kids left home (occasionally prompting the youngest to feel like they “caused” the split). In some cases the split was handled like mature adults and, if not entirely amicable, did not descend into warfare and petty revenge. Frankly, I’d be in favor of people dropping the “until death do we part” portion of marriage vows because people changing after 20 or 30 years enough to no longer be compatible seems fairly common. Folks would still have the option to remain together for life, but feel less obligated to do so. Would I get married again? Unlikely at this point. But then, getting married was never a priority in my life, I was quite happy as a single woman. I got married because I genuinely found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (which turned out to be the rest of his life). I don’t know if I’ll find someone like that again. Either way, I fully intend to have a wonderful and fulfilling life. Maybe if more people had that attitude they’d feel less need to marry and would do so less often but with better results. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/34 "2017-12-09T16:07:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > The reason gays want to imitate it is because being married incurs certain legal rights with respect to inherited property, health related stuff. The gay marriage movement started with the [Sharon Kowalski incident](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_re_Guardianship_of_Kowalski). Two women living as a couple in the early 1980s were separated when one of them was in a serious car accident, and her parents claimed guardianship over her, and refused to let her girlfriend see her. Her name was Sharon Kowalski, and her girlfriend was Karen Thompson. I’ve met them. I donated to their defense fund when Thompson was still suing to try to get guardianship of Kowalski, which she eventually did. The case led to droves of gay couples drawing up durable springing powers of attorney for one another, so their partners would be responsible for their end of life decisions, or the one to care for them if they ever became seriously disabled. And all through it, there was rumbling and grumbling “If we could just get married, we wouldn’t have to do this.” ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/35 "2017-12-09T16:24:27Z")
My parents were married for 30 years until he died. Considered a divorce at one point, but decided against it. Of course, he was extremely abusive and quite cruel and she should have thrown him to the curb decades before his death. I have little patience for the misogyny by too many men which places all the blame on women for divorces. Likewise there are not a few women who blame men in general. In our case as an international couple with kids, it would have been impossible for us to protect our rights without a marriage. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/36 "2017-12-09T16:30:33Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I have 2 relatives where in both cases, they were formally married but at one point the wife in the relationship just up and decided she wanted a divorce. No, the husband wasnt abusive or being unfaithful. He was doing his best to be a provider to his family. In both cases the wife just basically decided she either could do better with someone else or decided the husband wasnt fulfilling her every needs. She just felt unhappy in the marriage. So she filed for divorce and of course, took half his money. > > They say in the US about 85% of divorce are filed by the wife. Now personally, I have NO PROBLEM if she divorces him because he was fooling around or being abusive to her or the children, or he was a lazy bum sitting on the couch all day. But I think to just up and walk away because say they want to be “free” or they were not happy is just plain wrong. > > Remember this was a wife who at one point made a vow to stay faithful, to have and to hold, till death. They knew exactly the kind of man he was when they married him. > > My son was hurt by one of these because he truly admired his uncle. I want him to know not all women will just up and leave their husbands. > > Do you all think this issue will keep men from wanting to get married? When you say that she took half of his money, do you mean that they both brought money into the marriage and she kept hers and took half of his? Do you mean that they had pooled their assets and she gave up a career to care for children while he kept working, so she got some alimony for that and child support (if she got custody)? Because if they were both working, it seems very unlikely that she would get alimony by default, unless she put him through med school or something. Can you expand on this? People will get married or won’t. But, even if they don’t, if they co-habitate and start having kids, when they separate, there will still be some separations of assets plus child support. It’s not just marriage that causes that. Someone above mentions that you don’t need to pay money to decide you don’t want to be near your siblings anymore. Well, you would if you wanted to formally remove yourself from the family. You don’t need to pay money to stop being with your spouse, either, but you do if you want to formally dissolve the marriage. To answer the question, no. Aren’t divorce rates down anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/37 "2017-12-09T16:36:53Z")
Oy vey. In my bleary pre-coffee state, I read this thread’s title and assumed it was some kind of parody of the “now that women will cry Sexual Assault, will any man want to date them” nonsense that’s been going around. I’m shocked to find out I’m wrong. This question feels at least thirty years out of date. Exiting this thread. At least until I’m better caffeinated. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/38 "2017-12-09T16:41:00Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Aren’t divorce rates down anyway? Both marriage rates and divorce rates are down. Millennials these days are more likely to be unmarried than not. Recent data I’ve seen puts overall divorce rate at 40%, but that statistic varies significantly based on education, income, politics, religion, and other factors. Of course, the divorce rate doesn’t really tell us how many marriages are _successful,_ because 20 years married means nothing if you’re getting beaten every night or you’re so miserable you’re suicidal. The idea that the state of being married is inherently good is just as problematic as the idea that it is inherently bad. What it is, for two people considering it, is a calculated risk. Your odds of failure generally depend on how risk-averse you are. ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/39 "2017-12-09T17:01:24Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think the OP has presented a rather backward and sexist way of looking at it. But IMHO, the answer is “yes” and the “why” of it is largely irrelevant. I agree, partly minus the comment about OP’s ‘sexism’. Another post mentioned that women being more likely to want divorce is at least partly rooted in sexual inequality: situations where the woman is expected to do more, in household tasks and child rearing, usually now in addition to work outside the home. Couples rarely split with that situation the other way around, though there are individual exceptions to any such rule. But another side of that coin is that married men still tend to have higher incomes and to have contributed more to amassing the couple’s financial assets than married women. There are more frequent exceptions to that than the first rule but it’s still more often than not true, and definitely tends to be true of married men (who didn’t cheat or abuse\*) complaining about their divorces. IOW there’s a squeaky wheel issue in OP’s theme whether or not ‘sexist’. But either way there’s general facts, and the general non-productiveness IMO of always needing to class things as ‘isms’ if the facts aren’t put in the ‘correct context’. 50% division, where it’s the case, is a rough solution that never was or could be just in every case. It’s plausible IMO to say it has tended to shift against men. Also it’s pretty obvious it’s now a more significant consideration for high earning men’s willingness to officially marry women who earn much less (again the opposite case exists but realistically it’s not nearly as common for women to think of much lower earning men as suitable marriage partners). \*OP seems to have pretty clearly excluded this case, yet some responses are still ‘what if (only) the man was a cheater/abusive?’ Well then he has no excuse to complain, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991/40 "2017-12-09T17:10:46Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Surely you mean _ **their** _ money, right? :rolleyes: \*If \*it’s a wealthy man and poor woman entering into marriage, pooling assets together, and the divorce sees them split the assets 50/50, it’s reasonable to say she took half, or nearly half, his money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-issue-of-divorce-scare-off-men-from-getting-married/803991.md?page=3)