# Will the moderators contact missing members? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 30, 2022, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018 "2022-10-30T13:40:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/1 "2022-10-30T13:40:59Z")
We all have to have a valid email that is available for admins and or mods to contact us if necessary. I’m wondering if anyone asks for a “well check” on a SDMB member whose gone uncharacteristically silent on the boards. There are a few members who have abruptly stopped posting for reasons unknown. Would it be intrusive to have a mod send a simple email to check in, say something like we haven’t seen you poster X in a while, don’t ya miss us? Does the admin/mod team ever reach out to members in that way? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/2 "2022-10-30T14:44:15Z")
As a longtime poster here, I wouldn’t want SDMB moderators trying to contact me if I’ve decided not to post here. It would be IMO intrusive. If I were to suddenly pass away, I wouldn’t want her to have to deal with contact from a message board moderator. If a poster is interested in contacting me, tagging me in a thread or sending me a PM is the way I’d prefer. If I don’t respond you’ll just have to let it go. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/3 "2022-10-30T15:16:18Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Does the admin/mod team ever reach out to members in that way? No, we do not. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/4 "2022-10-30T16:22:04Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > No, we do not. What if I had a name, would you say if it matched the email account without actually giving out the email? By PM, not publicly. One thing you can do as a poster is start a thread about the missing poster. Often someone else will know that they post on another platform and are just fine. That’s worked for me twice and I’ve seen other instances. There’s also a [thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-missing-that-you-really-want-to-see-on-the-board/914010) that’s been running a couple of years about missing Dopers that has explanations for why some have left. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/5 "2022-10-30T17:10:12Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > What if I had a name, would you say if it matched the email account without actually giving out the email? By PM, not publicly. No. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2022, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/6 "2022-10-30T17:13:54Z")
No problem, I understand the reasoning. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/7 "2022-10-31T10:35:47Z")
Good to know and no reason to really I suppose as members can set up their email notification preferences if they want to remain informed on board topics, read replies or respond to quotes of their @username. ---
**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/8 "2022-10-31T11:24:14Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > If I were to suddenly pass away, I wouldn’t want her to have to deal with contact from a message board moderator. To whom does “her” refer? ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/9 "2022-10-31T11:32:38Z")
her indoors ! > **[Urban Dictionary: her indoors](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=her%20indoors)** > > The wife as referred to by her husband to his friends. Popularized by Arthur Daley in British TV series 'Minder'. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/10 "2022-10-31T12:02:33Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > To whom does “her” refer? That was supposed to be a second reference to my wife, but it looks like I edited out a line. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/11 "2022-10-31T12:28:47Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > If a poster is interested in contacting me, tagging me in a thread or sending me a PM is the way I’d prefer. That was my immediate thought. There is a PM function that a concerned person can use on an individual basis for the purpose of a welfare check. If an individual is truly concerned, that individual should make the effort. It shouldn’t be assigned as an automatic SDMB function. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/12 "2022-10-31T13:12:43Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > It shouldn’t be assigned as an automatic SDMB function. If @discobot starts harassing me about not posting in a while, I would not be pleased. ---
**Author:** ![discobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/discobot/32/570_2.png) [@discobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/discobot)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/13 "2022-10-31T13:12:44Z")
Hi! To find out what I can do, say `@discobot display help`. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/14 "2022-10-31T13:18:24Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > If @discobot starts harassing me about not posting in a while, I would not be pleased. I thought it was an interactive online app for old timers who miss the disco era of the seventies. LOL ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/15 "2022-10-31T13:37:11Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Good to know and no reason to really I suppose as members can set up their email notification preferences if they want to remain informed on board topics, read replies or respond to quotes of their @username. I’d have to look again, but I don’t think email addresses can be made public. You can set it up so you get an email if someone replies to you or sends a PM, but it’s all done by Discourse. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/16 "2022-10-31T17:46:23Z")
Right, point is if one stays away from the boards but have their email notifications turned on, then any notifications will go to your email. I’m curious what that email looks like. Test @chela ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/17 "2022-10-31T17:57:33Z")
I don’t know of any larger boards that contact missing members. Some of the smaller ones do, but those are places where most everybody knows everybody else. There’s at least one poster here who I miss, but it’s their choice to stay away, so I won’t bug them. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/18 "2022-10-31T19:07:13Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > There’s at least one poster here who I miss, but it’s their choice to stay away, so I won’t bug them. That’s a perfect reason for this not to be automatic. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/19 "2022-10-31T19:09:25Z")
> [@chela](#): > > I’m curious what that email looks like I don’t know if you’ll get a notification if you at yourself. @chela Note that if you have emails turned off, you’ll get a notification on the SDMB and that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018/20 "2022-10-31T19:23:06Z")
I am pretty sure something has happened to them but there is nothing I can do. One day somebody will perhaps think the same about me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-moderators-contact-missing-members/974018.md?page=2)