# Will the real Shit Stainy please stand up? Phelps to "preach" at VTech shootings **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 18, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571 "2007-04-18T03:06:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/1 "2007-04-18T03:06:02Z")
Just when you think that yeasty, sewer-fucking, bilge-mouthed fucktard couldn’t possibly have found [more shit to fling](http://www.godhatesamerica.com/): > [@Craptastic Bullshittery](#): > > WBC will preach at the funerals of the Virginia Tech students killed on campus during a shooting rampage April 16, 2007. You describe this as monumental horror, but you know nothing of horror – yet. Your bloody tyrant Bush says he is ‘horrified’ by it all. You know nothing of horror – yet. Your true horror is coming. “They shall also gird themselves with sackloth, and horror shall cover them; and shame shall be upon all faces, and baldness upon all their heads” (Eze. 7:18). > > Why did this happen, you ask? It’s simple. On April 16, 2007, this nation, through the offices of your military and conspirators therewith took a shot at the servants of God – your marksman was limp and lame and he had terror all around, so he did a lousy job. But what you get for your trouble is that your God shot at you! The LORD your God sent a crazed madman to shoot at your children, and he didn’t miss. Get this straight – God sent this South Korean madman to kill 31 of your children at Virginia Tech. Was God asleep while this took place? Was He on vacation? Of course not. He willed this to happen to punish you for assailing His servants. Yeah, I know. It’s just the sort of thing one should expect from him and his minions, but it is still in such mind-fuckingly poor taste that I just can’t bring myself to even try and comprehend how even _he_ could curl off one as big and gut-flippingly reeking as this one. Die, Phelps. Just fucking die already. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/2 "2007-04-18T03:10:15Z")
Deleting my post because I’m not sure if death wishes would get me in trouble here. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/3 "2007-04-18T03:11:14Z")
Just when you think that every angle on the VTech shootings have sprouted its own Pit thread, a new one crops up. Let’s start a pool: in how many hours will ALL the threads on the front page of the Pit be ragged fragments of one actual thread? I say by noon tomorrow. Takers? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/4 "2007-04-18T03:15:04Z")
We could always argue about movies … ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/5 "2007-04-18T03:21:34Z")
Just you try it. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/6 "2007-04-18T03:32:03Z")
[QUOTE=lissener] Let’s start a pool: in how many hours will ALL the threads on the front page of the Pit be ragged fragments of one actual thread? [/QUOTE] **Yeah!** Wait… what? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/7 "2007-04-18T03:32:52Z")
Is anyone suprised? Phelps has protested at the funerals of soldiers killed in action, police officers killed in the line of duty, and Amish schoolgirls killed by a lunatic. There’s nothing he won’t do to get attention through shock value. Understandable – otherwise, who would pay him any attention at all? ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/8 "2007-04-18T03:39:07Z")
Wow, Phelps is being a dick, is anyone really shocked or surprised? I have a hard time figuring out why the WBC is still relevant. I admit, I’d be plenty pissed if he protested a funeral I was attending, but does Phelps really warrant all this attention? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/9 "2007-04-18T03:45:08Z")
[QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] Deleting my post because I’m not sure if death wishes would get me in trouble here. [/QUOTE] Not unless he’s a fellow Doper, and AFAIK he isn’t. For all the “ink” he gets around here, though, he might as well be. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/10 "2007-04-18T03:46:04Z")
[QUOTE=lissener] Let’s start a pool: in how many hours will ALL the threads on the front page of the Pit be ragged fragments of one actual thread? [/QUOTE] Side bet for how many threads are begun by **Autolycus** alone. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/11 "2007-04-18T03:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=Nametag] Not unless he’s a fellow Doper . . . [/QUOTE] ['Fraid not.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=332077) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/12 "2007-04-18T04:08:30Z")
Before you start a thread like this, repeat this after me: “Expressing anger about Fred Phelps’ actions makes him _happy_.” Ask yourself whether you actually want your actions to make him happy, and when you’ve provided yourself with the obvious answer, act accordingly, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/13 "2007-04-18T04:10:36Z")
I have an idea. How about we just ignore him? Seriously. We need to refuse to grant him the media attention he craves to get his message out. Without that, he’s simply a lone voice ranting in the wilderness. I grant you it’s a very distasteful prospect to allow him to spew his hate unchallenged, but what we’ve been doing hasn’t worked very well. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/14 "2007-04-18T04:15:45Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] Side bet for how many threads are begun by **Autolycus** alone. [/QUOTE] - Ah.\* I get it now. \*\*Lissener \*\* is a thread snob. Got your back, dude. I also wouldn’t want to join any board that would have me as a member. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/15 "2007-04-18T04:20:29Z")
He’s a stupid shit. A returd. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/16 "2007-04-18T05:06:10Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] We could always argue about movies … [/QUOTE] You know nothing of Horror! The slasher flicks of the self indulgent modern era are an abomination! How many cats jumping out of kitchen cabinets does it take before you realize the truth of your movies? Frankenstein would have mopped the floor with Freddy, Jason and that little girl from The Ring. (well, Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein; Robert Deniro’s could have gotten its ass kicked by Pippy Longstocking - but that’s neither here nor there. Amazing though, how did such talent and such a good story turn into such a bad movie? Is Kenneth Branaugh that bad a judge of screen plays? Can he only do Shakespeare? I mean really, what the… oh wait, where was I? Oh yeah..) You have lost your way! Mankind has forfeited the right to be truly scared in favor of predictable plot twists, cheap gotcha moments and gore! God sent you the Holy Cannon of Hitchcock to teach you suspense, and how do you repay Him? M. Night Shamalan! He is a false idol! My Sixth Sense tells me that Hollywood are sinners! It has been judged: Lady in the Water sucked the left testicle of Beelzebub himself! Now, **The Exorcist** ; that was one kick ass horror flick ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/17 "2007-04-18T05:20:11Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] I have an idea. How about we just ignore him? [/QUOTE] Because social responsibility is insufficient grounds to deny ourselves a bit of self-righteous recreational-outrage fun! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/18 "2007-04-18T05:29:34Z")
[QUOTE=Princhester] Before you start a thread like this, repeat this after me: “Expressing anger about Fred Phelps’ actions makes him _happy_.” Ask yourself whether you actually want your actions to make him happy, and when you’ve provided yourself with the obvious answer, act accordingly, huh? [/QUOTE] Yep - no offense to the OP, but every time Fred does this shit people haplessly give him exactly what he wants by posting it all over the internet. I long for the day that he’ll get the obscurity he so fears and deserves, but I don’t think it’ll ever happen. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/19 "2007-04-18T05:36:46Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] > [@Nametag](#): > > Not unless he’s a fellow Doper . . . ['Fraid not.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=332077) [/QUOTE] 'Fraid so: > [@Rules for posting in The Pit](#): > > Do not threaten harm or wish death on **another poster** > > Do not threaten another poster with physical harm, or wish for their demise. This includes hypothetical statements like “it would make me happy if someone ran you over” or “I hope you say that to [someone prone to stabbing people] and they stab you”. > > **This does not include statements about non-posters** or groups which happen to include posters (e.g. lawyers, redheads, Democrats, Republicans, SUV-owners, etc.) **You can wish death on them all you want.** Bolding mine. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571/20 "2007-04-18T05:49:52Z")
Well, then! Death on Phelps. Great green gobs of greasy, grimy death on Phelps. Death wish Tibetan prayer wheels, spinning at 10,000 ppm (prayers per minute), urging immediate reincarnation as an assistant maggot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-the-real-shit-stainy-please-stand-up-phelps-to-preach-at-vtech-shootings/400571.md?page=2)