# Will You Virtually Marry Me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271 "2000-10-09T15:23:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/81 "2000-10-10T18:33:12Z")
Ron, I’d love to invite you to my party, butight now we’re only holding stripper auditions & it’s kind of quiet over there too. Unless, of course, you’d like to audition with the rest of the dancers… I’m sure the ladies would love it… ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/82 "2000-10-10T18:33:29Z")
Ron, I’d love to invite you to my party, but right now we’re only holding stripper auditions & it’s kind of quiet over there too. Unless, of course, you’d like to audition with the rest of the dancers… I’m sure the ladies would love it… ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/83 "2000-10-10T19:17:35Z")
Last night I went out and searched and searched for an appropriate wedding present. Finally found one in the attic. It is a vase. It has a pastoral setting, at the bottom is a bull fight but the bull seems to be done in blue. The bullfighter is a stick figure. There is some sort of animal on one side, not sure if it is a dog or a buffalo. There is a zoo scene but cannot for sure know what animals are which sorta like frosted animal cookies, ya kinda know they are animals, but don’t look like any specific ones. It is also 3 feet high. The main color is limegreen, with plenty of puce and violet. I do not approve of this wedding, the engagement is way too short, but I will do the “right” thing and give a gift. ::deb2world exits happy that she has finally gotten rid of that vase, it is the ugliest thing she has ever seen:: ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/84 "2000-10-10T19:21:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Sorry **A Girl** , I am now betrothed to \*\*little_bit\*\*. Where were you yesterday? ☹ \*\* Well, Froggie, darling… should there be some change in plans… …just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Frog? You just put your lips together and… blow. 🙂 A girl ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/85 "2000-10-10T19:22:48Z")
Cool, that vase will look great next to my [taxidermied bullfrog band](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=36387)! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/86 "2000-10-10T19:26:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by A girl \* > \*\*…just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Frog? You just put your lips together and… blow. \*\* hommina hommina hommina Um, **little\*bit**. . . would you object to me having 2 wives? Not a whole harem or anything, just two or three wives? You of course would be one of them. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/87 "2000-10-10T19:42:27Z")
Crunchy, I’m a fairly open minded fiancee. I don’t mind you looking at other women. Hell, we could probably come up with some kind of “open marriage” solution. But don’t ask me to share the title. I would prefer it if I were the only Mrs. Crunchy Frog. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/88 "2000-10-10T19:44:31Z")
Oh.My.God. What’s going to happen to Crunchy now that he asked if multiple wives would be okay with his intended?? I CAN’T LOOK!!! Oh, yes I can…:D! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/89 "2000-10-10T19:48:31Z")
So **A girl** , is that cool with you? Could I be married to **little\*bit** but see you on the side? (I’m already thinking about how I can word this in my new sig line . . . ) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/90 "2000-10-10T19:55:57Z")
\ ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/91 "2000-10-10T19:59:22Z")
Screech, It’s not a spat. It’s a discussion between two compromising adults. Now I can still offer to “educate” Monster104 when he turns legal 😃 ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/92 "2000-10-10T20:09:06Z")
On the _ **side,** _ Froggie, dear? As if I were a baked potato or slap of cole slaw?! I’m afraid that simply won’t do. But worry not for me, I can find another who will appreciate my … shall we say… _unique_ talents! ::whistling:: Bye now! 🙂 A girl ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/93 "2000-10-10T20:11:40Z")
Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/94 "2000-10-10T21:07:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Damn. \*\* **I** wouldn’t mind if you had other wives besides me. As long as I was considered your main one. You regretting throwing me out on my ass yet? ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/95 "2000-10-10T21:56:51Z")
This is starting to become a large foggy day. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/96 "2000-10-12T03:23:55Z")
So Froggie, when is the big day? I need to clear my schedule…:;takes out appointment book:: ::writing _Date on which to crash wedding…_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nadin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@nadin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nadin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/97 "2000-10-12T09:54:00Z")
Yeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. So which member of the groom’s party should I be stalking in my sexually charged state? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/98 "2000-10-12T14:27:23Z")
So **little\*bit** when is the big day? After today I’m off work (and so can’t post) until Sunday. So if we wanna get virtually married before the weekend, this’ll have to be the day to do it. **Zoggie** until I’m sure how old you are (read: **not jailbait** ) I’m afraid we will never be more than friends. 😉 And **UncleBeer** are you still interested in officiating? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/99 "2000-10-12T14:27:26Z")
nadin, THespos seems like a good choice. He’s already asked to be the perverted groomsman who hit’s on all the bridesmaids. Perhaps you can convince him to limit his flirting to you. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271/100 "2000-10-12T14:44:53Z")
I won’t be around til Sunday, either, but as your maiden of honor, that will give me some time to finish altering the dress. [My gawd girl, how much weight did you lose for the wedding? I have to completely take these waist and hip side panels in _at least_ a couple of inches!] Then I can finish hand-sewing each of the 3500 freshwater pearls on the headpiece and veil edges. Make sure the shoes are polished, check on the bouquets and bouttonierres, buttoniers, flowers for the guys… So much to do, and it’s not even my day… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-you-virtually-marry-me/36271.md?page=6)