# Will your children be gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 24, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347 "2003-10-24T16:42:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/41 "2003-10-25T00:15:05Z")
Well I dont disaprover of homosexuality on religous grounds. I just happen to find the idea of gay sex(man on man)to be very unattractive. I struggle with the idea that any guy can look at another and find them sexualy attractive…its just strange to me. As for my reaction if my child was gay…hmm…well honestly I dont know how I would react. I would like to believe that my child being happy would be enough for me, but maybe not. I would want to support my child no matter what. Being gay certanily doesnt “change” him/her…they would still be the same child I used to read bedtime stories to. tough question Liss…which worries me, because it probably shouldnt be… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/42 "2003-10-25T00:21:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dob \* > \*\*Well I dont disaprover of homosexuality on religous grounds. I just happen to find the idea of gay sex(man on man)to be very unattractive. I struggle with the idea that any guy can look at another and find them sexualy attractive…its just strange to me. > \*\* Well, I don’t find the idea of lesbian sex very appealing, but that doesn’t mean I _disaprove_. Although, I don’t really “aprove”, either, since it’s really not my place to aprove of disaprove. Is it? I’m neutral, basically. To me, it would be like my kid telling me that he or she is left-handed. The only thing that would upset me would be knowing that my child would be in for a tough time in life. But that could happen with ANYTHING, not just homosexuality. In fact, I’ll say I’d rather my child be gay than have OCD and depression like I do. THAT is not something I would wish on anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/43 "2003-10-25T00:30:30Z")
It’s probably been said before, but **Guin** you really are the tonic. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/44 "2003-10-25T00:39:50Z")
Um, that’s a good thing, right? 😉 [sub]I’m not always up on my slanguage[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/45 "2003-10-25T00:48:52Z")
Hmmm. Tough Question. I don’t think I’m a homophobe but I’ll try to answer honestly. Well first off, Scylla has all daughters and his wife is a woman. I live in the house of women. If my daughter is gay that means there will be even more women around. On the upside, none of these women will be attracted to me, so there’ll be no reason to suck in my gut, or not fart, or anything else that I normally do. On the downside, I will be completely isolated at family gatherings as the only male. So therefore, if my daughter is gay, she will need to only date women with brothers, so I won’t be a complete outsider, and will have somebody who thinks farts are funny around. Secondly, I’d be hoping for grandkids, but I guess that’s still possible. I would be concerned about those kids a little. I tend to think that all other things being equal, it’s good to have both male and female role models around for children as they grow up. I don’t think that that’s a problem, but it something that gay parents will need to consider. Similarly, they must also consider what happens if their child is a different sex than the gay couple? Imagining for a second that I was gay, or a single parent, how I am going to teach my daughter to use a tampon? * * * Don’t get me a wrong, I don’t consider these things objections, just issues that Gay parents will have to deal with. Good parents will deal with them well. ---
**Author:** ![Headcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@Headcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Headcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/46 "2003-10-25T01:04:14Z")
The sexual orientation of my children would not effect my feelings towards them, but I think deep down, it IS a dissapointment to any parent from a biological point of view. The sole purpose of offspring is for the survival of our genes into the next generation. The happiness and love are just evolutionary tangents that developed to improve the propagation of genetic material. The time and effort one spends on a child is a heavy investment one gambles on to improve the chances of grandchildren and so on. So while I dislike homophobia, it is wrong to chastise parents who are vocal about their preference for heterosexual children. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/47 "2003-10-25T01:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Y’know, **Kelly** , when your daughter gets to be a teenager, she will announce to you that not only is she straight, but is a born-again Christian and a Republican, _just to piss you off._ \*\* When I was a teenager, I **was** a Republican and a Christian (I even once claimed to have had a “born again” experience, although in retrospect I think it was actually heatstroke), and I claimed to be straight, too. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/48 "2003-10-25T02:26:17Z")
While not sexually “gay”, in practical emotional terms aren’t many of the really close male to male interpersonal relationships in the ultra-orthodox community the old world style emotionally bonded relationships, that would be considered practically gay from the modern secular POV, lacking only the sexual component to make them “queer”. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/49 "2003-10-25T02:53:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Hmmm. > > Imagining for a second that I was gay, or a single parent, how I am going to teach my daughter to use a tampon? > > * * * > > \*\* There are instructions in the packages. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/50 "2003-10-25T03:59:23Z")
Uh, **Headcoat** , as far as I know I’m the only one of my mother’s four children who is not straight (although it’s hard to tell for sure with my brother). As far as I know, I’m the only one of her children to reproduce, and I’ve done it three times now. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/51 "2003-10-25T04:43:02Z")
‘The sole purpose of offspring is for the survival of our genes into the next generation.’ No, that just is not true. The sole purpose of offspring is to live their lives as they see fit. I would be very disappointed in a child that decide to follow religious dogma that said people can be damned for loving consenting adults of the same species. But I would fear for a gay child, particularly a son, terribly in _this_ world, and be sad if my child was gay. Not as sad as I would be if they had untreatable cystic acne, or started an early pregnancy, but sadder than if they were left handed or short (both of which are a real inconvenience). This is a nasty, cruel, homophobic world, and parents want to spare their children pain. So a lot of parents are going to handle the conversation badly. Yes, and cause their children pain. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/52 "2003-10-25T05:13:28Z")
> [@](#): > > - Headcoat\* > The sexual orientation of my children would not effect my feelings towards them, but I think deep down, it IS a dissapointment to any parent from a biological point of view. The sole purpose of offspring is for the survival of our genes into the next generation. The happiness and love are just evolutionary tangents that developed to improve the propagation of genetic material. The time and effort one spends on a child is a heavy investment one gambles on to improve the chances of grandchildren and so on. I love how you’re so certain about the meaning of life. Sike-a-boo-boo! I don’t really love it. I hate and resent it. How arrogant do you have be to make such a definite statement about the “sole purpose” of a natural phenomenon? If _your_ sole purpose of having offsprings is that they can proprogate, then that’s something else, and you should say that. ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/53 "2003-10-25T06:27:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j66 \* > **’The sole purpose of offspring is for the survival of our genes into the next generation.'** > > No, that just is not true. The sole purpose of offspring is to live their lives as they see fit. Yes, that just is true. We’re not much different from animals you know, in fact, we _are_ animals. Sure, we can think, but it doesn’t change basic evolutionary urges. Actually, looking at that now, it may be wrong, because that’s not the _sole_ purpose, it’s the evolutionary purpose, but not the sole purpose.\*\* ‘live their lives as they see fit’\*\* is not the sole purpose either. > [@](#): > > \*\* > This is a nasty, cruel, homophobic world, and parents want to spare their children pain. So a lot of parents are going to handle the conversation badly. Yes, and cause their children pain. \*\* Yeah, most of this world is nasty, cruel, and homophobic, but that sparing children pain isn’t the only reason people would want heterosexual children. If you’re seriously going to deny that there isn’t a primal urge for your children to carry on your genes, well then I might as well stop here. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/54 "2003-10-25T07:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by IzzyR \* > \*\*There are child molesters and other unsavory characters who do their darndest to keep their activities as secret as possible. But every so often some scandal breaks out. Or you hear some wispered gossip about such-and-such. And child molesters are a lot less common than homosexuals, and are more stigmatized. Again, there is no way that their could be widespread incidence of homosexuality and have it kept so secret that members of the community have never heard of a single instance. Believe it or not. I do. So I don’t worry much about the question in the OP. > \*\* I think that the problem is that you think that someone’s homosexuality would cause a scandal. I can relate to your experiences somewhat. For most of my life I’ve known gay people through the internet and popular culture. The first gay guy I knew only became openly gay after he was kicked out of his college for being gay. Your members probably have heard of it. It just isn’t talked about. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/55 "2003-10-25T15:04:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryle Dup \* > \*\*Yes, that just is true. We’re not much different from animals you know, in fact, we _are_ animals. Sure, we can think, but it doesn’t change basic evolutionary urges. > > Actually, looking at that now, it may be wrong, because that’s not the _sole_ purpose, it’s the evolutionary purpose, but not the sole purpose.\*\* ‘live their lives as they see fit’\*\* is not the sole purpose either. > > Yeah, most of this world is nasty, cruel, and homophobic, but that sparing children pain isn’t the only reason people would want heterosexual children. > > If you’re seriously going to deny that there isn’t a primal urge for your children to carry on your genes, well then I might as well stop here. \*\* Headcoat made a statement that presented his opinions as fact; I did the same in reply, because I deeply disagree with his opinions. Sparing the child pain is MY reason (and the only reason with which I sympathize) for being sad that child is gay. And no, I have no ‘primal urge’ to pass on my genes; I actually cherish my step-child (whom my late parents viewed as a grandchild) and the children of my spouse’s siblings. Can we take a constructive turn? While I’m pretty certain my step-child is not gay, by the law of averages one or two of my nieces and nephews probably are. What completely stupid thing should I NOT do or say if one of them comes out to the family? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/56 "2003-10-25T15:15:38Z")
Lis, what would you think if _your_ children turned out to be straight? 😃 I don’t think I would care if my kids turne out to be gay, though I don’t have any. It’d probably hard for me not to kill people who were intolerant of them, though. I’d also have to legally change my son’s name to Adam, and convince him to date a man named Steve, just for effect. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/57 "2003-10-25T19:19:48Z")
I’d be very interested in **lissener** ’s response to The Conversation if it involved one of his children deciding that homosexuality was a sinful lifestyle. How would you react, **lissener**? You seemed so eager to get other people to answer your question. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![AlahAkbar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@AlahAkbar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlahAkbar)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/58 "2003-10-25T19:33:08Z")
We Muslims do not allow homosexuality to invade our world. We deal with homosexuals swiftly and as described in the Koran. ---
**Author:** ![TVAA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TVAA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVAA)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/59 "2003-10-25T19:55:37Z")
Gee, **AlahAkbar** , thanks for playing! I’m sure the Moderators will deal with you swiftly and as described in the Terms of Use Agreement for these boards. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347/60 "2003-10-25T20:07:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryle Dup \* > \*\*Yes, that just is true. We’re not much different from animals you know, in fact, we _are_ animals. Sure, we can think, but it doesn’t change basic evolutionary urges. > > Actually, looking at that now, it may be wrong, because that’s not the _sole_ purpose, it’s the evolutionary purpose, but not the sole purpose.\*\* ‘live their lives as they see fit’\*\* is not the sole purpose either. > > If you’re seriously going to deny that there isn’t a primal urge for your children to carry on your genes, well then I might as well stop here. \*\* Just because reproduction, or more accurately, sex, is a primal urge, does not make it the purpose of life. Eating is a primal urge too, but no one would argue that it constitutes a purpose. Life has no purpose, and it makes me sad to see people trying to endow it with one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/will-your-children-be-gay/209347.md?page=4)