Willing to share your personal COVID comfort zone?

The Quarantine Zone
21

I’m 65 with no medical issues. But I’m being very, very cautious. I retired the middle of January and I want to live to be able to someday enjoy it. Of course, as time has gone by, I realize that traveling and parties and such are a long way off. But I’m fortunately able to isolate myself for as long as it takes.

I get my groceries by pick-up at Kroger. They’ve gotten better at having most of what I request but I do miss picking out my own food. I order everything else I need from Amazon or Target.

I haven’t been in a crowd of people since my mother’s funeral on Feb. 17. If it wasn’t for her death, I probably would not have had to meet with any strangers in the last few months.

The only other house I’ve been in is her’s as my brother and I cleaned it out and fixed it up. We went there on alternate days so I hadn’t seen him until last week when we met with the realtor. He was comfortable going in the house with her (wearing masks) but I was not so they did the walk through and then we sat outside to talk (wearing masks). We have met with her twice since then and both times she had to go back to her car to get her mask. So I don’t think she is being very careful and I wasn’t comfortable having to sign all the paperwork with her hovering over me pointing to where I needed to sign. I met with an electrician over there last week so he could check out a broken thermostat. He wasn’t wearing a mask but I wasn’t planning on going in the house with him anyway. I just told him where the thermostat was and let him go in alone.

I had to meet with the probate lawyer a few weeks ago and that was the first time I’d been in a building since the first of April. We were the only people there, both wore masks and sat 6 feet apart. It took about 15 minutes to sign the paperwork.

The next problem I’m going to have is after the house sells. The realtor says they are doing all closings safely inside. I’m really not comfortable with that. My sister who lives out-of-town is going to be able to sign her paperwork in front of a notary and send it in. I think I should be able to do that, too, and am going to fight for that option.

Other than those folks, the only people I’ve seen in person are some of my neighbors and we talk at least 6 feet apart. I did screw up yesterday when I found a kitten on my porch and took it in a box to see if it belonged to my next-door neighbor. He was outside and I walked up to him with the box and realized I didn’t have a mask on. He looked in the box and I backed away. It was only for a few seconds but that was the closest I’ve been to someone without masks and it kind of freaked me out a little.

My friends are and I talking about possibly getting together in someone’s backyard for some social distancing time but we haven’t made any plans yet. I would really like that. I miss them so much.

22

I sold a vacation home out of town with no contact. Never even met the buyers. Only met the realtor once. Everything was handled by email. Tell your realtor you don’t want to do it in person. They can email you everything. Paper is obsolete anyway. If it’s a firm of any size they’ve done this before.you

You have so much on your plate! Hugs to you.

23

I get out to golf or practice 3/4 times a week since courses opened 3 weeks ago. Masks inside to check-in and in vicinity of the club house. No issues, I usually play with the same group of careful old farts. Played a tournament this weekend with new partners. No problem, no contact. Hawaii is pretty safe - for now. Been out to eat twice, same restaurant. Mask coming in or going out; servers all masked. I do the grocery shopping. Very good mask discipline here. Wife and I have done doctor/dentist visits. Good masking. Cases here revolve around little clusters usually a church group or a funeral. I’m dreading our trip to Georgia for the new grandchild but my wife insists - we’ll quarantine/cling to the house there.

24

Yeah, here it’s the norm for sellers not to be present at a closing, even when there isn’t a pandemic going on - they sign things ahead of time and their agent handles the rest at the closing.

25

Thanks Thelma Lou. I remember posting something just as the safe-at-home orders started wondering how long it would take to get all this done with the world on hold. Only four months ago but it feels like years.

26

As far as restaurants/breweries are concerned, we are very choosy. We keep camp chairs, a small folding table, two clean growlers, and plastic cups in my gf’s car.

We leave the house with an itinerary in mind; drive to X, if they’re packed, proceed to Y, if too crowded go on to Z. As a last resort we can buy food truck food, get a growler filled, and picnic in the parking lot away from anyone else.

If this becomes the new normal, I won’t be complaining.

27

The stay in GA wouldn’t bother me as much as the time in the airport/plane.

Hawaii is paradise - until you have to go anywhere! :smiley:

28

I’ve been grocery shopping, limited retail shopping all along. I had debated about doing delivery services; however, I have a few clients that work for said delivery services in my area and really do not want them to know my address. I tried doing a pick up order with one retailer back in April. Unfortunately, the order was all messed up, I had to pick up inside anyways, and no one was following the mask/ social distancing guidelines anyways, so it wasn’t a win anyways. One grocery store advertised the limited shopping hours for eldery / “vulnerable” people. I have that immunocompromised thing going on, so tried it. There were more people shopping than during normal hours, so won’t do that again. I have had a mani/pedi, both of us masked, socially distancing in place. I have not gone back to the gym since it opened. I’m too nervous.

Working from home since March. That will continue at least through the end of the year. We have heard noise that for many of us it will become permanent. I’m completely fine with that.

The family aspect has been the most difficult. I haven’t seen my daughter and her boyfriend since Xmas, when she was here for a few days. They were scheduled to be here for four days. I ended up having to do an emergency pick up a few days early as she was sick / needed medical care. After being diagnosed with the flu, the visit was pretty limited as she was either sleeping or huddled in her chair trying to not fall asleep. Her boyfriend picked her up on they day they were supposed to come up.

We usually saw each other once, if not twice a month. I’d go down there for a day or two, they’d come up here, or we’d meet in the middle, spending a day wandering a small town, just hanging out.

At this point, they’re coming up for a few days in mid-August. We’ve agreed to get tested a few days prior (they recently had a scare, both tested negative). They’ve agreed to refrain from hanging out with his family for 14 days prior (no one masks, no distancing, lots of large family events).

I’ll see my mother outside, as I do her yardwork. If she comes over for something in particular, she stays in the breezeway and I stay in the doorway. She’s a hugger, now we elbow bump.

When my sister was 100% staying home, we’d hang out. She was my main human contact in April and May. We’d go to outdoor gardening centers, the farmers market, just hang out in her back yard. She back volunteering a few days a week, so we’ve kind of dialed it back. She and her husband are going on vacation to a state where precautions are treated as “anti-freedom!” this weekend to see his family, so there will be a pause for a few weeks when they get back.

29

I had recently become more comfortable with going to the store and I always wear a mask, but I’m starting to get a little nervous again with the California numbers ticking up. My daughter has opened up to allowing me to be around the kids so I watched them yesterday, but I’m feeling really nervous about that again too.

I’m just petrified at the thought of me being the cause of anyone getting sick, so I may tighten back up again for a bit.

30

This is an interesting thread because it seems to repeat a theme I see playing out: no matter how serious someone seems about COVID, they’re doing at least one majorly risky behavior that seems to undo the rest of their protective scheme.

My sister said she wouldn’t let our families hang out together unless we got a COVID test. We work at home, we only go to the grocery masked once a week, we ask questions about the families in our childrens’ play group and avoid contact with people who behave safely, in order to protect ourselves and the medically fragile children on our street.

Sis didn’t ask about any of what we’re actually doing… her mommy group has decided that their protective talisman is a COVID test, even though your negative COVID status is only reliable until you cross paths with… well, anyone. But sheesh, try to tell that to a virtual-signaling liberal who came of age in the “know your HIV status” years.

Anyhow, as I noted, we only hang out with families on our (circular) street, we ask questions about who is going where, who’s doing what, everyone’s health status. We get everything except groceries via delivery. The only iffy thing is we do is visit our community swimming pool (sectioned off to exceed state social distancing requirements) and my parents (who are Fox viewers, but are in their 70’s and understand they could die).

31

My Wife left this morning to go to her brothers memorial. She has a 1500 mile drive in front of her, but she’s a real road warrior. She plans on 800 miles today.

It will be outdoors, but nobody is really sure how many people. It’s gone back and forth from just family to close friends and family. 20-50 people I suspect will show.

32

This quote made me wonder - of the people who are towards the end of extreme isolation, is your motivation to avoid becoming infected, to avoid infecting others, or both.

Not intending to criticize anyone, just curious as to mindsets. I would think SOME degree of activity would be pretty darned safe (100%?) w/ masks and distance.

33

I suspect these stores have their acts together now. I’d certainly try again. April is an eternity ago and the stores and personal shoppers have gotten the hang of it, I believe.

If the one with “elderly” hours was Whole Foods, I asked one of the clerks about the early shopping hour for old folks (as I am one) and she said it’s more crowded then than at any other time during the day. I now go there in the middle of the day and the store is practically empty (maybe 15 customers in the whole place).

34

We have been the models of isolation since mid February. Fauci would be proud. All groceries have been delivered. Never went out for takeout or curb-side pickup of anything. We go out for walks because it’s safe and there is never anything resembling even a small gathering of people in our very residential suburban neighborhood. People are exceptionally considerate when passing one another by crossing the street to give each other sufficient distance. Most even wave a kind hello in acknowledgment and thanks. It’s been really nice, actually.

I work from home, again since mid Feb. I’m an IT consultant and the customer’s offices are closed until further notice, which may be fall at this point. Maybe longer. Anyway, WFH is not an issue as I had flexibility to manage my in/out office days at will even before the pandemic.

The only time we got in our cars was for an infrequent medical appointment or to take a drive on a nice day. I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve been farther than walking distance from our home since February.

All that’s fine. Except we’re starting to feel like utter fucking idiots for being so diligent.

My wife’s uncle, in his 80’s but otherwise proverbially healthy as a horse all his life, died of covid-19. How you might ask? Because he and his adult kids thought it was all a lib hoax and didn’t take precautions. All made worse still because one of the kids is a nurse and certainly should have known better. So they were all sick but it killed their dad. So they have that to live with.

Our son is a Navy medic and so far he’s been uninfected. Though he deals with patients all day long as part of his duty. But we dare not go visit him, and he’s restricted from being more than an hour from his base. So that ain’t happening. We last saw him on Thanksgiving.

We’ve not seen my wife’s family in at least that long, they live 3 hours away and they are at very high risk. We’ve not seen my family in a year. My parents are at high risk. Also they live in Canada so distance and international travel is a problem.

What pisses me off is that virtually everybody seems to be taking this much less seriously than we are. Both of our parents are constantly at the grocery stores. Sure, they wear masks, but they refuse to stay home. My nieces range from age 10 to 18 and they are constantly out with their friends. My parents go over to my brother’s house for dinners constantly. Next week, they are spending a week together sharing a chalet they rented. All 8 of them packed into the same few rooms with lovely mountain views. All cramming themselves into a couple of cars to go from place to place. My father-in-law, having just lost his brother, can’t wait for the barber shops to be open. My son just told me that his mom (my ex) is going to visit him next weekend. She’s never been one for believing news and science much. So they’ll be hanging out for a couple of days together in the nearby town. Very nice for them.

So with all that I’m fucking angry about the fact that we’re the only ones taking this seriously and trying to be responsible. Why are we bothering when everybody seems to be going on with their lives while telling us on the phone about how they are being so very careful. :unamused:

35

My bold.

Why? Because you are being smart. Hang in there. Don’t waver. Let me put it this way: you won’t regret being diligent, but it’s extremely likely you will regret relaxing your diligence.

I’m being just as careful and compliant as y’all and I will keep doing it. I do not want to get this virus. It sounds exceptionally unpleasant, even if it doesn’t kill you. It’s nice you have companionship. I’ve been locked down all alone.

36

I’m so sorry. That’s gotta suck exponentially.

37

Thanks. There are upsides and downsides, and I experience both daily.

38

It is certainly your prerogative to feel and act as you are. My personal thought is that you are erring on the side of overcaution, and that you could engage in more activities than you are without causing any appreciable risk to yourselves or others. JMO.

Do you feel your anger is caused by the other peoples’ choices/actions, or by reconsideration of yours?

This is something I’ve perceived as well. Although some people are consistently being extremely careful about isolating themselves, a great many (most?) seem to be very careful in just about everything EXCEPT one activity that strikes me as riskier than ANYTHING I am comfortable with. Yet many such people are willing to criticize people who make different choices, doing more activities, each of which bear lower risk (tho, I guess, the cumulative risk may be higher.)

As I’ve said many times - I’m not criticizing anyone’s choices. These are challenging times for all of us. I’m just curious about why people have drawn such different conclusions from the same available information.

39

@QuickSilver
If your wife’s family lives in Canada then they may have good reason to not take the same precautions as you. It may not be fair but there’s big sections with basically zero cases at the moment. Outside of Ontario and Quebec, less than 400 people have died from covid-19.

40

Both. I think we’ve probably been overcautious. Others in my family, not cautious enough. It’s looking like there is another wave coming and unavoidable further restrictions by authorities. So that’s what we get for our diligence - more isolation, more inability to safely see family and friends.

There is also the persistent nagging thought at the back of my mind that exposure to the virus will probably not kill us and at least we’ll get that behind us. Of course, it’s a risk I could easily assume for myself. But I’ve got people who depend on me and I care about letting them down if I’m not around.