# Willy Wonka: I am your slave **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094 "2000-03-22T20:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/1 "2000-03-22T20:43:00Z")
So my co-worker, who has an adjoining office to mine, has a bowl of candy free for the eatin’ in her office, the office I must pass through to get to the hall. Her most recent addition to the candy bowl is an assortment of Willy Wonka candies. You know them well: Everlasting Gobstoppers, Nerds, Bottle Caps (I had never heard of these, but they’re just as addictive as the rest), Runts, and my personal favorite, Laffy Taffy. I am defenseless to their ever present siren call. I’m seriously eating 4 or 5 pieces (and when I say pieces, I mean those little “single serving” mini-boxes or bags of the candy) a day, minumum. It’s getting out of hand. Is there some kind of Willy Wonka patch out there? Help me! ---
**Author:** ![bedboy3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@bedboy3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bedboy3)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/2 "2000-03-22T20:50:00Z")
Willy Wonka ownz you ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/3 "2000-03-22T21:02:00Z")
Oompa-oompa-doopity-do, I’ve got a little message for you. What do you do when your mouth is a hole? Heed my advice and banish the bowl. 😃 * * * A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. —Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/4 "2000-03-22T21:48:00Z")
Runts? Did you say Runts? The chewy ones or the normal, hard-as-a-rock ones? I have to restrain myself when in bulk candy stores, where one can buy Runts by the ton. * * * Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa… ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/5 "2000-03-22T21:51:00Z")
Bottle Caps kick ass. I’ve had that WW monkey on my back for YEARS! * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/6 "2000-03-22T21:59:00Z")
Nerds? Someone say Nerds? GIMME THE NERDS! – Sylence * * * “Excuse me, are you reading Torah and eating crayons?” ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/7 "2000-03-22T22:06:00Z")
Remember Nerds Cereal? Where the 2 side opened up separately? Now that was resistable. 🙂 Your Quadell ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/8 "2000-03-22T23:41:00Z")
_sigh_ I keep hoping that one day I’ll see a thread titled, “Bricker: I am your slave.” That lucky Wonka bastard. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/9 "2000-03-22T23:46:00Z")
Glad to see everyone likes Nerds. I have a certain affinity for them myself. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/10 "2000-03-23T00:04:00Z")
Senior year of high school, I worked at a candy store, and got fired for eating too much on the clock. Of course, I tell people I got fired because the boss was a raving bitch (which she was). I love bottlecaps. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/11 "2000-03-23T00:49:00Z")
Bottlecaps, mmmmmmmmm! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/12 "2000-03-23T01:01:00Z")
Bottlecaps. Oh my goddess. I haven’t eaten those in years. I love them. Snag a few for me, wouldja? Thanks. Much obliged. 😃 * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/13 "2000-03-23T01:05:00Z")
Now I have this urge to chew gum…maybe a turkey dinner complete with mashed potatoes and gravy, and oh the stuffing. Wait, that was the movie. I am not a big candy eater but bottle caps ROCK! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/14 "2000-03-23T01:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by voguevixen: > \*\*Bottle Caps kick ass. I’ve had that WW monkey on my back for YEARS! > \*\* Wow! You are the best! I didn’t realize Bottlecaps were a WW product. I haven’t seen them in years either, but they are soooo good! Anyone know where I can find some? ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/15 "2000-03-23T02:47:00Z")
Oh…Laffy Taffy? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Laffy Taffy was my favorite addiction in high school. We used to buy TONS of them at lunch and eat them during physics class and read the jokes to each other, and after eating a whole bunch of them the jokes were actually funny and we’d all be on a huge sugar high and couldn’t even think straight…oh, my poor physics teacher. I love Laffy Taffy. Damn you people, now I have a craving… ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/16 "2000-03-23T02:51:00Z")
Some bottlecaps sound pretty good right now, actually. Them ever-lasting gobstoppers rock, too! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/17 "2000-03-23T03:21:00Z")
If you can’t find them locally, try [www.candydirect.com](http://www.candydirect.com) ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/18 "2000-03-23T06:39:00Z")
Bottlecaps? Did somebody say Bottlecaps? God, I loved those things! The root beer ones were my favorite. I haven’t seen them in years, either. Also, does anyone have any idea what happened to those Valentine’s Day candy hearts? Not the ones you see all the time now, the ones that had the shiny, resinous coating. Those were my other favorites. They only ever get rid of the ones I like… The curse of abnormality… * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/19 "2000-03-23T09:20:00Z")
The last time I had Bottle Caps, Wacky Package stickers were all the rage. I can resist the Nerds, but am a total and complete slave to gum drops. The cheaper and staler the better. * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094/20 "2000-03-23T13:13:00Z")
Damn. The candy woman is out sick today. That means the candy is locked in her desk. I’m gonna have to go cold turkey. BASTARD. Eh, screw it, I need to get me a real addiction. ps: she bought this infernal bag of temptation at Costco. pps: They are the hard Runts, Rosebud, I tried the soft ones ONCE and almost threw up. Bleck. My entire Intro to Psych class spent our 15 minute break trying to figure out what the purple one was supposed to taste like. (it’s DEFINEATELY not grape.) We decided on prunes. * * * DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/willy-wonka-i-am-your-slave/15094.md?page=2)