# Winning the "Kobiashi Maru" scenario **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 9, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603 "2002-04-09T03:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/21 "2002-04-09T16:27:37Z")
no, it was Troi, in the episode “Thine Own Self,” It was the B-story to the Data has amnesia plot. Crusher was left in command of the Enterprise in “Descent Parts I & II” and still commanded the bridge occasionally at night, which inspired Troi to go for the Command rank. And Kirk told Scotty to discard the Warp Section and escape with the Saucer part in one of the Original Series Episodes, i think that would override any blueprints out there. Not that i watch the show ^;)^ ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/22 "2002-04-09T16:30:31Z")
:eek Wow. I am now thuoroughly disgusted at the sheer geekishness being displayed here. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/23 "2002-04-09T16:31:53Z")
Hey! My eek didn’t work! :eek :eek: Oh I see … now we need _two_ colons. [grumble] ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/24 "2002-04-09T16:38:24Z")
I concede, it was Troi, not Bev. mumble mumble geeks mumble mumble… ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/25 "2002-04-09T17:13:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*:eek Wow. I am now thuoroughly disgusted at the sheer geekishness being displayed here. \*\* Hey, just wait, i’m sure we can debate the written language of Pakleds, or the endocrine system of gloomers if need be! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/26 "2002-04-09T17:17:28Z")
**Tars Tarkas** in the _Kobayashi Maru_ thread. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/27 "2002-04-09T17:38:11Z")
Has anybody played the new voice activated Star Trek Bridge Commander game? Is it fun? Is the Kobyashi Maru simulation included? The first time I saw that game in the store, my little geek heart grew three sizes. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/28 "2002-04-09T18:46:43Z")
_Let’s try posting this AGAIN, shall we?_ As I recall, Scotty was the one who did the best on the Kobayashi Maru test (well, except for Kirk, natch)- and he, also, cheated (kinda). He knew that the simulation computer was working on old data concerning the Klingon ships- his tactic would only work on that design of ship. New data had come in, though, and would have invalidated his tactic… had the simulation been reprogrammed with the new specs. He took out something like 16 ships before they managed to destroy his ship. I think I need to go to a strip bar, and then go kill a bear with my bare hands- after building a new carb for a ‘69 mustang. I’m feelin’ WAY too geeky now, for knowing that. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/29 "2002-04-09T19:58:06Z")
Wasn’t Sulu the one that said “Screw you, Kobayashi Maru, we ain’t going in!” and didn’t get killed, but didn’t save the ship? It’s been a while since i read that book. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/30 "2002-04-09T19:58:25Z")
[Diving into to Geek pool] Ok who says it was a trap? I think the Vessel was (according to the simulation) actually there and in trouble but it’s distress call summoned the simulated Klingon Cruisers. I know it was a test of character but why wouldn’t the simulation include an actual ship in distress to add more pressure to the Captain in training. The stress of saving the ship and/or their crew, would really test the caharcter wouldn’t it? [\Crawling out of the Geek Pool]. ooooh I feel dirty. :eek: Ok no I enjoyed it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/31 "2002-04-09T20:34:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\*[Diving into to Geek pool] Ok who says it was a trap? I think the Vessel was (according to the simulation) actually there and in trouble but it’s distress call summoned the simulated Klingon Cruisers. I know it was a test of character but why wouldn’t the simulation include an actual ship in distress to add more pressure to the Captain in training. The stress of saving the ship and/or their crew, would really test the caharcter wouldn’t it? [\Crawling out of the Geek Pool]. \*\* There really is a freighter there, but it is a trap. I think it was a book (which isn’t canon), in which Kirk beat it by getting a friend to hack the comp, so that when he goes “This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship _NotEnterprise_, back off.” (as a cadet mind you), all the Klingons go "_The_ James T. Kirk? Oh no! ", then escort him in, and him and the freighter back out in safety. (and by the way, anyone know what the background colour is actually called?) ---
**Author:** ![Ziactrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@Ziactrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziactrice)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/32 "2002-04-09T21:31:38Z")
Scotty used a specially changed torpedo, teleported into the weakened ‘share’ points where the Klingons were sharing their ship-forcescreens to set up a disturbance that would, theorectically, destroy the enemy ships. The computer agreed with him, although in real life, an experiment had shown this wouldn’t actually occur. The examiners, who were still stunned by how many ships Scotty’s simulation had taken out (I think he’d just destroyed the first two, the second four, the third eight, and he had a way to do the fourth set of sixteen, but couldn’t get it explained to his Engineer fast enough to accomplish). There was a furor, so the examineers decided to check the Federation Scientific Encylcopedia - which listed under the subject an experiment carried out as a thesis by a doctor in Scotland … with an graduate student by name of Montgomery Scott. Jaws drop around the table, because getting your name in this Enclycopedia is a rare achievement even after a lifetime of expertise in your field of research… and this cadet is IN THERE, for what he just pulled off, and he knew your computer wouldn’t know his results, and used that to his benefit. Moral? Never try to out-machine an engineer. 😉 Now, as for the _Kobiyashi Maru_, I can perhaps see why Sulu wouldn’t have violated the Neutral Zone - tantamount to starting a war. In Nihongo, it sounds a lot like: kobe: one (in the singular sense) yashi: suspicious, or vulgar, mean, or vile maru: in excess I wouldn’t go in after a supposed ship name “One Really Mean Bunch of Suspicious Nastiness” either. Who would really name a ship that? Especially a merchant class craft. Really. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/33 "2002-04-09T22:27:55Z")
i thought Kobayashi Maru meant “Little Woods boat”? Why doesn’t Starfleet use Kanji? Enlightened humans my green foot! ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/34 "2002-04-09T23:09:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yondan \* > \*\* > > No No NO > > You have to _reverse the polarity_ of the ionic flux dylithuim converters, you idiot! > > 😃 \*\* True, but did you take into account the power-stage magnatomic positronic chillers? Tell you what. Let’s go to the holodeck and ask Sherlock Holmes what he thinks. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/35 "2002-04-10T00:01:28Z")
Damn you, **Shortie.** I was going to be a geek and post that story. I went thorugh almost the whole thread thinking “ohboyOhboyOhboy” and you took the wind out of my sails. %$#@!&\*^ ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/36 "2002-04-10T01:13:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*Damn you, **Shortie.** I was going to be a geek and post that story. I went thorugh almost the whole thread thinking “ohboyOhboyOhboy” and you took the wind out of my sails. %$#@!&_^ \*\* I know. Ziactrice too. Just to complete the cycle from the book, and to sop my geek pride, in addition to Kirk and Scottie’s solutions, noted above, Sulu did indeed elect not to violate the treaty and the Neutral Zone with a big ole’ starship, and Chekov ( HA! I’m first to mention him! ) put his crew in life pods and blew up his ship ( and thus the enemies ships too ) by mixing the matter and anti-matter in his engines. His poor crew got caught in the blast as well. Dasvidania Rodiana! indeed. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/37 "2002-04-10T13:15:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shortie \* > \*\* > There really is a freighter there, but it is a trap. I think it was a book (which isn’t canon), in which Kirk beat it by getting a friend to hack the comp, so that when he goes “This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship _NotEnterprise_, back off.” (as a cadet mind you), all the Klingons go "_The_ James T. Kirk? Oh no! ", then escort him in, and him and the freighter back out in safety. > > \*\* I remember that book, to be honest I thought it was lame. I’d expect Kirk’s cheat to be better then that. I’m not exactly sure what I expected but it had to be balsy and flamboyant and involving a true win for Kirk. Maybe making his sheilding more powerful or his ship able to Manouver in a way that it could not possibly do. Or more likely making his enemies less competant allowing for Kirk to take out ship after ship after ship until the testors say enough. ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/38 "2002-04-10T18:34:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\* > > I remember that book, to be honest I thought it was lame. I’d expect Kirk’s cheat to be better then that. I’m not exactly sure what I expected but it had to be balsy and flamboyant and involving a true win for Kirk. > > Maybe making his sheilding more powerful or his ship able to Manouver in a way that it could not possibly do. Or more likely making his enemies less competant allowing for Kirk to take out ship after ship after ship until the testors say enough. \*\* But putting God mode on would be an out-right cheat, as would handicapping the bad guys. Convincing them not to fight is a better win, since the whole point was to avoid a war (hence why Sulu was the only guy to actually do the right thing), and the ideal tactic for any SF captain, just one that was originally set up to always fail. His cheat therefore kinda made it more realistic (well, given an older, more impressive Kirk), hence affirming his belief that in ‘real-life’ it wouldn’t be a no-win scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/39 "2002-04-10T20:07:02Z")
I always wondered (since given Kirk’s solution) apparently everyone knows what the Kobyashi Maru scenario consists of (you’re on the Federation/Romulan boundry, you hear a distress call from a Federation ship that’s on _their_ side of the boundry), why the starship commander didn’t simply say (in response to the distress call) “Ahh…It’s bogus. TTFN” and hightail it back to Federation space. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603/40 "2002-04-10T20:42:42Z")
Everybody who’s been through it knows what it is. The _Kobayashi Maru_ is the snipe hunt of Starfleet Academy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-kobiashi-maru-scenario/102603.md?page=3)