# Winning the thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401 "2009-08-23T17:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/1 "2009-08-23T17:30:05Z")
“Winner!” “You’ve won the thread!” “\*\*Username \*\*wins the thread. We can all go home now.” Which threads have you won? Cite both the winning post, and the post(s) that say you won. The winner of this thread will receive a cash prize of ten thousand dollars\*, and a free cruise around the Sea of Tranquility\*\*. * * * I won a thread about [unsusal injuries](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=526178&highlight=lion). > [@I bet that one was new at the ER.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-that-one-was-new-at-the-er/504578/57): > > So, I was in Africa on safari, and the hotel was offering transport to various tourist traps, including something called a “lion walk”. According to the pamphlet, this involved close encounters with lion cubs, to benefit the conservation society that was raising them. > > Turns out that when they said “cub”, they meant “between six and eighteen months old”. To give you an idea of how big an eighteen month old lion can get, well, I found some pictures of the same lion at what I think was [thirteen months](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://lh6.ggpht.com/_vdsZjeMNgDs/R_Yy8OMTIJI/AAAAAAAAAZo/weEv6zjMyWQ/DSC06577.JPG&imgrefurl=http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/XsqJXMP9udCZftHw-qnxNw&usg=__Z-K_b5zXf9OkCzzrPkpjomuAoNE=&h=768&w=1024&sz=16&hl=en&start=2&tbnid=Wdi5hCtFe2qxYM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlion%2Blungile%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN). At the time he bit me, Lungile was something like seventeen and a half months. > > So, I ended up staying in Africa longer than I planned, until my skin grafts were done. But on the other hand, I got some [great pictures](http://www.flickr.com/photos/9624983@N05/sets/72157609857035284/), including Lungile’s sister, [Lina](http://www.flickr.com/photos/9624983@N05/2797791532/in/set-72157609857035284/). > > I’m almost healed now, although [my best pair of pants is beyond saving](http://www.flickr.com/photos/9624983@N05/2796950093/in/set-72157609857035284/). **Isamu** said "[Until someone comes along with their story about being attacked by a shark riding on an elephant, and they have photo evidence to back it up, you win."](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11392501&postcount=75) * * * \*In Zimbabwean currency \*\*Lovely views, but no atmosphere ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/2 "2009-08-23T17:45:37Z")
Does winning the one I started in my head, but didn’t post, count? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/3 "2009-08-23T17:49:26Z")
Well not here, but on Fark, someone once posted that I won the internet. It was for one of their Photoshop contests with the theme of “Censorship”. My quick and dirty entry was [this](http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9666/prophetcollage2.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/4 "2009-08-23T18:29:32Z")
[Leading Viagra Scientist Dead at 92](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=518662&highlight=viagra) > [@Leading Viagra Scientist Dead at 92](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leading-viagra-scientist-dead-at-92/497448/7): > > I wonder what kind of wood his coffin will be made of? > [@Leading Viagra Scientist Dead at 92](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leading-viagra-scientist-dead-at-92/497448/8): > > Mourning wood. > [@Leading Viagra Scientist Dead at 92](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leading-viagra-scientist-dead-at-92/497448/16): > > Winner! [Would an Actual Golden Parachute Work?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=491066&highlight=parachute) Not a thread winner as it was off topic but the set-up was too perfect. > [@Would An Actual Golden Parachute Work?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-an-actual-golden-parachute-work/470987/18): > > I would imagine that the extra weight of gold would lead to much unpleasentness, when you hit the ground and the gold landed on top of you. > [@Would An Actual Golden Parachute Work?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-an-actual-golden-parachute-work/470987/21): > > Gold-pressed **Laudenum**. > > 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/5 "2009-08-23T18:47:59Z")
I’ve only been here a few months and I won [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11196831#post11196831). The link should take you to both my winning post and the post proclaiming me the winner. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/6 "2009-08-23T18:51:36Z")
I’ve had a couple, I think, but I’m way too humble to go and search them out. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/7 "2009-08-23T18:56:04Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I’ve had a couple, I think, but I’m way too \*\*humble \*\*to go and search them out. You misspelled “lazy” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/8 "2009-08-23T18:57:52Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > You misspelled “lazy” 😉 That an’ all! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/9 "2009-08-23T19:07:40Z")
I won a thread about decapitating someone, because I was the only person participating in said thread that had any actual experience in doing so. > **[How Easy Is It To Sever A Head?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=477872)** > > In regard to the crime in Canada where a man stabbed another on a Greyhound bus then cut him up The AP Article reads: Now my question is how fast could he stab someone and then procede to cut him up. How fast could you cut off his head and then... ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/10 "2009-08-23T19:17:24Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I won a thread about decapitating someone, because I was the only person participating in said thread that had any actual experience in doing so. > > [How Easy Is It To Sever A Head? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=477872) I… think I’ll just… stand over… not near you. Medical school, eh? Sure, I can understand why it’d be important for a doctor to know how to _remove a human head_. “Doc, my head is killing me!” “Oh, I have experience with this. Let me just find a scalpel.” So are you a doctor now? If so, what kind? If any kind of organ or system specialty, do you know how to remove that organ or system from the body? ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/11 "2009-08-23T19:17:29Z")
I didn’t think I had won any threads, but I did a bit of searching, and [whaddaya know](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10583535). ---
**Author:** ![Henrichek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Henrichek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Henrichek)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/12 "2009-08-24T00:48:51Z")
Winning this thread would be epic win. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/13 "2009-08-24T01:25:38Z")
How about threads that have no replies? Doesn’t the OP win by default? I guess the OP is the loser of the thread by default, too…☹ ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/14 "2009-08-24T01:27:11Z")
No. Isn’t that failure of the most epic variety? EDIT: Damn ninja edits! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/15 "2009-08-24T01:29:48Z")
Win or lose, it’s an honor just to post here. I’d like to thank the Academy. And my mother. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/16 "2009-08-24T02:24:54Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > How about threads that have no replies? Doesn’t the OP win by default? > > I guess the OP is the loser of the thread by default, too…☹ They win by forfeit. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/17 "2009-08-24T09:54:53Z")
I didn’t **win** the “It’s Not Rocket Surgery” thread exactly; but the OP said I got a prize: > [@It's not rocket surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-rocket-surgery/437394/239): > > I think brujaja deserves a prize for sheer volume. Daaaayum! Got kinda carried away. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/18 "2009-08-24T12:25:13Z")
I won [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=503631) and [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494590). The latter win was declared by an Admin, even. No prizes have been forthcoming. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/19 "2009-08-24T12:34:31Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I won a thread about decapitating someone… I will now always hear The Lettermen singing in the background as I read your posts. ---
**Author:** ![RoniaBorkason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9dc877/32.png) [@RoniaBorkason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoniaBorkason)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401/20 "2009-08-24T18:05:26Z")
**broomstick** won a thread. I’m about to eat lunch, so I’m not going to look it up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winning-the-thread/507401.md?page=2)