# Winter's a-coming! Season of Death Mini-Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 18, 2010, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833 "2010-09-18T09:03:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/301 "2010-10-04T22:12:06Z")
Well, another Monday … and for once, I _didn’t_ find an explody can of soda in the breakroom freezer. Yay, co-worker! But … did you _have_ to go and burn some popcorn instead? Could you perhaps do neither next time? kthxbye (Gawd, it stinks in here. I have to sit here for another hour! _whine_ ) ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/302 "2010-10-04T22:27:17Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > I hate that when I make microwave popcorn, I have to choose between having a bunch of unpopped kernels in the bottom of the bowl or having the popcorn scorch and stink up the whole house. I mean, seriously, the difference between those two eigenstates is no more than a couple of seconds. NO FUCKING KIDDING! Also add in gradually evolving microwaves. I used to pop at 1:23 with good results; lately I noticed I was getting half as much popcorn out of it. I tried 1:30: **charcoal**. At the moment 1:25 seems to be working (two seconds. _Two seconds!_), but lord help me when the next phase of the moon happens, or something; it’ll probably burst into flames and burn my apartment down. Seriously though, this is damned stupid. ---
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/303 "2010-10-05T00:27:09Z")
Microwave popcorn is the distilled essence of evil. It knows what you want and it knows you’re not going to get it. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/304 "2010-10-05T00:54:14Z")
> [@dzero](#): > > Microwave popcorn is the distilled essence of evil. It knows what you want and it knows you’re not going to get it. [Michael Palin as the Spanish Inquisitor] “Bring forth… _the Microwave Popcorn!_” [/MPatSI] ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/305 "2010-10-05T03:33:16Z")
So I was cleaning out the spam folder while I had a snack: BIG fl3shy L41bia t33ns 40r y0u! mmm bacon. ---
**Author:** ![NoiseBomb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/49beb7/32.png) [@NoiseBomb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoiseBomb)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/306 "2010-10-05T05:09:30Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Seriously. Who lists a car on Craigslist without pictures? If I can email you for pics you can damn well include them in the ad. Well, I did once, but that was one of those “for parts only, yeah it technically runs (kinda) but no way in hell will it ever pass inspection” sales. > [@](#): > > Poniac Gran Dam > In good running conditions has great engine, new routers, break pads, break lines, Routers on one’s car. I’ve heard of being addicted to the Internet, but wow… 😃 I’d also like to pit my death pool candidates. Come on, you ingrates, it’s October! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/307 "2010-10-05T15:55:02Z")
Oh yeah, and I’d like to re-Pit the OP here for mispunctuating their title. Winter **is**. Winter\*\*'s\*\*. Fucking _apostrophe_, you imbecile. > [@Bosstone](#): > > The problem with having to avoid carbs is they’re everywhere. So why avoid them completely? I don’t get these gimmick diets. If it’s that hard for you to not eat carbs, why not just… eat carbs, but less of them, mixed in with other healthful things? It’s not like carbs are cigarettes. > [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > To all the people who feel the need to bleat “Go Skins!” or “Go Dawgs!” or “Go Bears!” or any other stupid-sounding mascot name when you talk about your alma mater…please allow me the pleasure of slapping you. This is why I’m proud of my high school, where I could cheer for the Popes or–even better–the _Lady Popes_. > [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](#): > > I know an awesome way to make “mashed potatoes” out of cauliflower if anyone’s interested - you can’t tell the difference! I bet you I could, as could most other people. Mashed cauliflower is _tasty_, but it doesn’t taste the same as mashed potatoes. > [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > I hate that when I make microwave popcorn, I have to choose between having a bunch of unpopped kernels in the bottom of the bowl or having the popcorn scorch and stink up the whole house. Is it really the end of the world to have a handful of kernels not pop? Do you really get to the bottom of the \*huge fucking bowl \*of popcorn and think, “Man, that was really unsatisfying–if only I’d had another handful”? > [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > I brought my personal, reusable coffee cup to Starbucks for an Americano because I’m trying to do my part for the environment. I do appreciate the ten cents off, but if you’re just going to mark a paper cup, pull the shots into it, pour said shots out of the paper cup and into my reusable cup, and then THROW AWAY the paper cup, it’s COMPLETELY POINTLESS! Who the fuck makes shots straight into cups, anyway? We always used those little metal brew pitchers. > [@Projammer](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Poniac Gran Dam I hear you can get those with a build-in Sorny TV. Wait, or was it Magnetbox? > [@NoiseBomb](#): > > Routers on one’s car. I’ve heard of being addicted to the Internet, but wow… A few years back, I heard someone talking about a firewall in a car they were working on, and my brain actually went through something like the following process: “Why would a car need a firewall? Those computers are pretty specialized, and they’re not networked to anything els–OH MY GOD I’M A FUCKING RETARD.” ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/308 "2010-10-05T15:55:26Z")
I am so sick of hearing Justin Bieber’s breathy rendition of Happy Birthday for the cancer commercials. I don’t believe the rest of the country are tweenage girls that enjoy listening to him, so why did you have to use him and play his commercial so much? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he could actually sing instead of that breathy thing he does that sounds like he’s awaiting a lung transplant or something. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/309 "2010-10-05T16:20:29Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I am so sick of hearing Justin Bieber’s breathy rendition of Happy Birthday for the cancer commercials. I don’t believe the rest of the country are tweenage girls that enjoy listening to him, so why did you have to use him and play his commercial so much? Hey, don’t forget the gay ephebophiles. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/310 "2010-10-05T17:19:47Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Is it really the end of the world to have a handful of kernels not pop? Do you really get to the bottom of the \*huge fucking bowl \*of popcorn and think, “Man, that was really unsatisfying–if only I’d had another handful”? I use those overpriced 100cal bags. A handful of kernels is all there _is_ - and _literally half_ were not popping. Fucking microwave popcorn. Proof _positive_ that carbs are not only bad for you, they are _maliciously evil_ and want you to die. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/311 "2010-10-05T17:38:47Z")
But…but I love _them_. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/312 "2010-10-05T18:03:22Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > But…but I love _them_. ☹ Classic abuse case. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/313 "2010-10-05T20:04:10Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > I use those overpriced 100cal bags. A handful of kernels is all there _is_ - and _literally half_ were not popping. Have you tried the method you’re actually, y’know, supposed to use? I.e., set it for a time slightly longer than it should go for, then sit there and actually listen to the pops and stop the 'wave when they get up to ~2 seconds between pops? If that \*still \*isn’t working, I strongly suggest you find a less shitty brand of microwave popcorn. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/314 "2010-10-05T20:04:50Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > This is why I’m proud of my high school, where I could cheer for the Popes or–even better–the _Lady Popes_. _NO_! Just … omg \* skull explodes \* Today’s fun and exciting Afternoon Office Game: time to play … \ What’s That Smell? Step right up, folks, anyone can take a turn. All you have to do is walk into the break room, sniff, and say “What’s that smell?” For an immediate bonus round option, offer your guess! Today’s contestants include: mildew applause bleach applause old soup applause and a special mystery guest! \ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/315 "2010-10-05T20:19:54Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > If that \*still \*isn’t working, I strongly suggest you find a less shitty brand of microwave popcorn. Agreed. The local store brand looks tempting based on price point, but I know from repeated bad experience that only about half the kernels will pop. So I don’t waste my money on it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/316 "2010-10-05T21:21:42Z")
I’d \*really \*like to go home now. ---
**Author:** ![abbeytxs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@abbeytxs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abbeytxs)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/317 "2010-10-05T21:24:22Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > > [@Bosstone](#): > > > > The problem with having to avoid carbs is they’re everywhere. > > So why avoid them completely? I don’t get these gimmick diets. If it’s that hard for you to not eat carbs, why not just… eat carbs, but less of them, mixed in with other healthful things? > > It’s not like carbs are cigarettes. Perhaps you aren’t aware that not everyone who is trying to avoid carbs is on some kind of “gimmick diet”. A lot are diabetics trying to avoid that pesky blood sugar spike that often comes with eating carbs. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/318 "2010-10-05T21:30:47Z")
Do you get a blood sugar spike from eating an amount of carbs versus eating an equivalent amount of calories in another form? (Genuine question here, no snark.) And would these spikes be caused by having occasional sensible amounts of carbohydrates? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/319 "2010-10-05T21:43:46Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > > [@begbert2](#): > > > > I use those overpriced 100cal bags. A handful of kernels is all there _is_ - and _literally half_ were not popping. > > Have you tried the method you’re actually, y’know, supposed to use? I.e., set it for a time slightly longer than it should go for, then sit there and actually listen to the pops and stop the 'wave when they get up to ~2 seconds between pops? > > If that \*still \*isn’t working, I strongly suggest you find a less shitty brand of microwave popcorn. I buy Orville Reddinbahoweveryouspellit. It’s the least shitty brand _my_ stores sell. And if I wait until there _actually_ is a discernible two-second pause between pops, I get charcoal. Perhaps you missed the part where the interval between “rare” and “well done” is _eight seconds_? Though, I will freely admit that maybe my _microwave_ is shit; I never had this kind of problem with my _last_ microwave. But either way _something_ is plotting against me with evil intent and I feel fully justified in mini-pitting the satanic thing. ---
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833/320 "2010-10-05T21:48:54Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Do you get a blood sugar spike from eating an amount of carbs versus eating an equivalent amount of calories in another form? (Genuine question here, no snark.) And would these spikes be caused by having occasional sensible amounts of carbohydrates? What matters most AFAIK is the type of carb. Simple carbs will be absorbed much more quickly than complex carbs. I can’t think of an example off hand. There’s also the fact that even sources of complex carbs will probably have some simple carbs. IDK to what extent fat and protein are converted to carbs - if they ever are. If they are metabolized differently then they should never affect blood glucose levels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/winters-a-coming-season-of-death-mini-rants/554833.md?page=17)