# Wise things people have told you **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537 "2013-08-29T22:32:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/61 "2013-08-30T19:52:45Z")
Good, Fast, and Cheap. You get to pick only two. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/62 "2013-08-30T19:57:20Z")
Me to my son, when teaching him to drive: “I had the right of way” is not what you want on your tombstone. My stepfather: Never play poker with scared money. Me to my oldest son, who was contemplating either the military or college: Stay uninformed and you’ll stay uniformed. My mother: Stop whining and go find something to do. If you’re bored, read a book. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/63 "2013-08-30T20:04:52Z")
From my mother: “Don’t be upset about the fact that other people believe in so much silliness, stupidity, superstition, myths, and self-deception. If you truly analyzed yourself, you would realize that many of your own beliefs fall under those categories. You were not put on this earth to correct everyone else’s failings.” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/64 "2013-08-30T20:13:35Z")
I’ve posted this before but it’s always worth repeating. " NEVER call her a bitch." From my best friend on my wedding day. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/65 "2013-08-30T20:36:50Z")
From my father: “This, too, shall pass.” From my mother: “Everything happens for the best. Your job is to find it.” ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/66 "2013-08-30T20:45:17Z")
From my mother about marital arguments: “You can be right or you can be happy. But not both.” From my boss about being a boss: “Never ask anybody to do something you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself.” From me to my son: “In the business world, everything takes longer than you think it will.” ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/67 "2013-08-30T21:21:51Z")
Both from my father. I have no idea if he was quoting, but I’ve not seen either elsewhere: “It’s not hard to appear smart - the competition isn’t stiff.” “If you want to pay less taxes, make less money.” ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/68 "2013-08-30T22:00:21Z")
“Just because we don’t know what we’re doing, doesn’t mean we can’t fix it.” –from a friend and coworker (we were working IT and asked to work on a piece of equipment we hadn’t seen before; I had argued that we shouldn’t accept the assignment). ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/69 "2013-08-31T01:48:31Z")
From a boss: “Together we can move mountains. Bring a shovel.” And… Me (contemplating going back to school): “But if I do go, I’ll be 51 by the time I graduate!” Friend: “And how old will you be if you _don’t_ go?” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/70 "2013-08-31T02:26:06Z")
“Money isn’t everything. But it sure helps.” – Manger at pizza place I worked at when I was in college. “1) All women are crazy. 2) Some are crazier than others.” – Buddy of mine “There is no shortage of work. There is only a shortage of commitment.” – Previous supervisor “Either you control the alcohol, or the alcohol will control you.” – My mother ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/71 "2013-08-31T03:01:46Z")
From my grandmother- Beauty’s only skin deep, but ugly’s to the bone. From the internet: Always remember that you are an individual- just like everybody else. From the best bumper sticker I ever saw- Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/72 "2013-08-31T03:19:30Z")
Some life stages advice: -An ex-girlfriend was told to double-major in something you love and something you can be happy doing for a living. Goddamn I wish someone had given me that advice. -When we planned our wedding, someone told us to think of three things we’d like our wedding to be remembered for (e.g., tasty food, pretty location, fun dancing). Work to make those three things memorable, and then for everything else, work just barely hard enough to make them not memorable. -Before our first daughter was born, someone told us, “Babies are tough little critters. You can’t hardly kill 'em.” ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/73 "2013-08-31T04:46:07Z")
“Easter time is the time for eggs. The time for eggs is Easter time.” Always take a paddle. Keep a $100 bill in your rat hole. There is no such thing as a fair fight. The best way to fight is from behind with a pair of .45’s. It takes at least 5 years to build a reputation. It takes about 5 minutes to ruin it. When you are flying, only take flying stuff with you Fly like the plane was designed. Never ask it to do something it was not designed to do. If you have more than one kid, you are your own best charity. The way I say this one: “If you are not in a hole, don’t start digging. If you are in a hole, stop digging. If you come to a hole, go around.” First from my Dad but later from other places also: Three most useless things in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway behind you. Gasoline on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/74 "2013-08-31T04:53:51Z")
From Mr. Ko: There’s no bigger waste of time than arguing with strangers on the internet. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/75 "2013-08-31T05:11:55Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > “Qadgop, nobody likes a smartass.” I always wondered why everyone hated me. Knowing doesn’t make it any better. Here’s some: Never draw to an inside straight. Never argue with an idiot, those listening can’t tell the difference. Quit while you’re ahead. Don’t poke the bear. That pussy isn’t going to eat itself. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/76 "2013-08-31T13:26:02Z")
Never bet on a horse name Tripod. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/77 "2013-08-31T13:29:38Z")
From a recently read book the title of which I have now forgotten: “Always call a whore a lady. It cost nothing, and it’s a hard life.” ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/78 "2013-08-31T15:21:57Z")
Saying, “Sir” to a man does not make him bullet proof. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/79 "2013-08-31T20:37:37Z")
“Avoid The Clap!”, and the Classic “Work Smart, Not Hard”. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537/80 "2013-08-31T22:00:19Z")
From my dad: “The most common element in all successful stories is a good alarm clock” Also from dad (it’s odd, but has been hilariously true): “Never ask directions from someone who’s hair is longer than yours.” From me (to my kids): “Lady luck only hits moving targets.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wise-things-people-have-told-you/667537.md?page=5)