# Wishes for all Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157 "2009-03-20T13:59:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/1 "2009-03-20T13:59:22Z")
So I was browsing this Web site about beaches the other day, looking at all the beautiful photography, when I came across a JPEG image of a bottle. It was old, poorly-imaged, over-compressed, and tinted green, like verdigris. So I picked up the bottle image, and decided to clean it up a bit. I loaded it into Photoshop, adjusted the tint, brightened the image, and started to polish it up a bit with an unsharp mask filter. Lo and behold, out popped a hidden layer (yes, I know JPEGs don’t have layers – work with me here) containing–are you ready for this?–a genie. “WFT? OMG! This is buckets of awesome!” Exclaimed the genie. “Thx, d00d. A wish for u!” (stupid digital genies). I told him that I had expected three wishes, and planned to use them on the Straight Dope. “Altruistic, R U?” he snickered. “Ill tell u wat. Ill grant 1 wish to each Doper–even the n00bs, but they have to use it on other Dopers. U can make **Lib** a televangelist, turn **lekatt** into a skeptic (:D), or **Giraffe** back into a Pit mod, but u cant use it on urself.” Wow. I am pondering this. It’s a hard decision. While I figure out what I’m doing, does anyone else want to jump in with your wish? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/2 "2009-03-20T14:11:23Z")
I feel nice this morning. My wish is that everyone can undo one thread or post of their choosing that got them an undeserved or unwanted reputation. I was going to use an example, but that would be harmful to my proposed wish. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/3 "2009-03-20T15:30:49Z")
Probably a more serious reply than you intended… I’d wish [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=510802) had never been necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/4 "2009-03-20T15:41:52Z")
Good wishes, both of you, but his rule lets each of us make a wish about _one single poster_. I tried a little sneakiness: Me: Okay, I wish I was Cecil Adams, the Smartest Man on Earth (even smarter than Ozymandias) Genie: No, your wish has to be about another poster, not yourself. Me: Okay, I wish Cecil Adams was me. Genie::dubious: No. Me: Hmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/5 "2009-03-20T17:53:14Z")
Here’s one. I wish that **gardentraveler** will have a completely perfect garden for one whole year. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/6 "2009-03-20T18:18:21Z")
I’m not sure what the wish would be, but I’m pretty sure the beneficiary would be \*\* Ed Zotti \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/7 "2009-03-20T18:22:10Z")
I wish that [NoClueBoy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php), whose last activity was 08-18-2008 07:11 PM and whose latest post was [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9768142&postcount=380) would find his way to return to SDMB and raise some ungodly hell! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/8 "2009-03-20T19:52:29Z")
I’ve wondered what became of\*\* NoClueBoy\*\* too. He was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/9 "2009-03-20T21:24:27Z")
I wish **Vox** could get his girl. Treat her well bud ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/10 "2009-03-21T12:28:29Z")
I wish for a summer of warm breezes and clear sailing for **FairyChatMom** and her SO. ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/11 "2009-03-22T00:30:14Z")
Hmmm - I think I can find a way to use this to my advantage - I’ll wish that **JustThinkin’** wins the lottery! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/12 "2009-03-22T23:01:40Z")
I wish Invisible Wombat was Cecil Adams. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/13 "2009-03-23T04:39:37Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I wish Invisible Wombat was Cecil Adams. _snicker_ I wish **Cicero** was, well, Cicero (alive, of course). And spoke modern English. How cool would that be? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/14 "2009-03-23T15:32:18Z")
I wish all of my fellow Dopers would enjoy the Dope as much as I do. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/15 "2009-03-23T21:45:48Z")
Wish you were here. ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/16 "2009-03-23T21:59:41Z")
I wish slugs and amoebas and crawlies galore to **olivesmarch4th**. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/17 "2009-03-24T00:05:07Z")
I wish all the unemployed Dopers would get jobs that were perfect fits for them. And **AskNott** , it’s really sweet of you to think of me. I was feeling guilty that I didn’t do anything in the garden today. But now I’m going to fold some lovely newspaper seed-starting pots and get a few seeds started off. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/18 "2009-03-24T02:52:52Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Wish you were here. I wish you well. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/19 "2009-03-24T03:17:14Z")
I wish the Detroit Lions would win their first eight games so I could see the look on \*\*Least Original Username Ever’s \*\*face when they still didn’t make the playoffs. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157/20 "2009-03-24T08:35:29Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Wish you were here. I wish you happiness **Quasi** , with all my heart. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wishes-for-all-dopers/490157.md?page=2)