# Witch Boobies **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 28, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574 "2005-03-28T05:56:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/21 "2005-03-29T06:20:45Z")
> [@BoringDad](#): > > Ground water is a fairly constant temperature year round, usually around 45 to 50F. And if we take the time of year to be January (as indicated in the Masters column referenced upthread) well then, it’s 50F in the excavation which is quite pleasant considering that at the top of the hole it is often colder than a witche’s tit. If you want to spend a lot of time in 50F water you go right ahead. [http://www.boatwashington.org/hypothermia.htm](http://www.boatwashington.org/hypothermia.htm) Let me know when that well is done 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/22 "2005-03-29T14:06:50Z")
> [@BoringDad](#): > > Ground water is a fairly constant temperature year round, usually around 45 to 50F. And if we take the time of year to be January (as indicated in the Masters column referenced upthread) well then, it’s 50F in the excavation which is quite pleasant considering that at the top of the hole it is often colder than a witche’s tit. You have a very different definition of “pleasant” than I do. And I’d much rather be at 0 F with warm dry clothes on than ass-deep in 50 F water. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/23 "2005-03-29T15:40:21Z")
Yeah. If they said “colder than a well-diggers knees” I would have understood instantly. How about “Colder than a skinny-dipper’s ass in Mooselookmeguntic Lake?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/24 "2005-03-29T18:14:25Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > One of his Renfields, eh? :dubious: It does inspire the imagination, though, dontcha think? ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/25 "2005-03-29T18:38:03Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > Woo Hoo! I know the origins of this! > > British sailors used to stack cannonballs in a pyramid, and to keep the bottom row from moving around, they would put them on a brass plate with indentations. A brass monkey. When it was cold, the brass would contract, messing up the spacing of the indentations, and the stacked pyramid would fall over. It was then “cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey.” Of this the National Maritime Museum comments:- “Although we cannot offer an alternative explanation we do not think this theory is tenable. Most of the round shot was carried in racks or ‘garlands’ which were either wood or rope. No nautical dictionaries give any reference to the brass monkey although monkey was a term used for all sorts of other things. The use of brass is also questionable since it was a fairly expensive commodity and there seems to be no reason for its use when wood sufficed.” [http://www.nmm.ac.uk/server/show/conWebDoc.17926](http://www.nmm.ac.uk/server/show/conWebDoc.17926) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/26 "2005-03-29T19:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > “Although we cannot offer an alternative explanation we do not think this theory is tenable. Most of the round shot was carried in racks or ‘garlands’ which were either wood or rope. No nautical dictionaries give any reference to the brass monkey although monkey was a term used for all sorts of other things. The use of brass is also questionable since it was a fairly expensive commodity and there seems to be no reason for its use when wood sufficed.” Not to mention that the coefficient of thermal expansion for brass is 18\* 10^-6 m/m/K. So going from the tropics at 40 C to the artic at -20 C (zero F), if the cannonball holder is a full meter wide, you get a total width change of about one millimeter, spread over the full width of the holder. Which I think probably wouldn’t make a stack fall over. In fact, I can’t imagine there is much on a wooden sailing ship that has a one mm tolerance to begin with. But the story is true about how the tiger got his spots. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/27 "2005-03-29T19:30:48Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > In a previous thread on this subject, it was proposed that a program of scientific research be carried out to find out which was colder: a witch’s tit, a whore’s heart, a husky’s nuts in a dogsled race, or a welldigger’s ass. > > Oddly enough, everybody volunteered to investigate the thermal properties of witch’s tits. For some reason, no one offered to research husky’s nuts or welldigger’s asses. Must’ve missed that thread. If you’d connect me with an attractive female welldigger, I’d investigate the warmth of her backside and report back. (Strictly in the interest of fighting ignorance 😉 ) You’re still on your own re: puppy nads. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/28 "2005-03-29T19:35:37Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Must’ve missed that thread. If you’d connect me with an attractive female welldigger, I’d investigate the warmth of her backside and report back. (Strictly in the interest of fighting ignorance 😉 ) You’re still on your own re: puppy nads. Yeah, everyone who was interested in the witch’s tit question was imagining young nubile ones as well, not the classic crone-type witch. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/29 "2005-03-29T19:39:47Z")
Leaving the fascinating of well-diggers poopers for a moment and getting back to the original hijack - here is phrase I use fairly often. Uglier/Dumber than a bucket of butt-holes. The dumber part is expecially useful when talking about my brother’s wife. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/30 "2005-03-29T19:42:21Z")
Crap! That should have been - fascinating subject of . . . ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/31 "2005-03-29T22:22:00Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > You have a very different definition of “pleasant” than I do. And I’d much rather be at 0 F with warm dry clothes on than ass-deep in 50 F water. Oh come now. Do you think people digging holes in the ground to find water wear tuxedos? Have you never heard of hip waders? You are not soaked to the skin. 50 F covered in rubber and sweating is quite warm compared to the people at the top of the hole. Plus the previously mentioned fact that if you are digging a hole in the ground, you never actually get butt deep in water. How do you suppose a well digger would be able to dig if he couldn’t bend over to pull out a shovel full of dirt without sticking his head underwater? So to summarize - water warm compared to the air in January, well diggers wear waterproof clothes in cold weather, and water in well does not approach butt deep. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/32 "2005-03-29T23:28:04Z")
I have heard the phrase as “Colder than a well-digger’s ass in January” and I always assumed that it was a well-digger as opposed to any other occupation due to the fact that a well-digger would have to bend over a lot in his work, thus causing “plumber’s crack” and exposing his hindquarters to the elements. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/33 "2005-03-30T00:35:12Z")
My favorite is “colder than a nun’s cunt”. The offensiveness makes it good! I can’t use it anywhere, though :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/34 "2005-03-30T03:41:52Z")
> [@BoringDad](#): > > Oh come now. Do you think people digging holes in the ground to find water wear tuxedos? Have you never heard of hip waders? You are not soaked to the skin. 50 F covered in rubber and sweating is quite warm compared to the people at the top of the hole. > > Plus the previously mentioned fact that if you are digging a hole in the ground, you never actually get butt deep in water. How do you suppose a well digger would be able to dig if he couldn’t bend over to pull out a shovel full of dirt without sticking his head underwater? > > So to summarize - water warm compared to the air in January, well diggers wear waterproof clothes in cold weather, and water in well does not approach butt deep. Overanalysis can take the pith out of any pithy expression. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/35 "2005-03-30T05:44:52Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Overanalysis can take the pith out of any pithy expression. If the cute female welldigger were to take a pith in her well, that would warm things up, I would think. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/36 "2005-03-30T14:31:49Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > If the cute female welldigger were to take a pith in her well, that would warm things up, I would think. 😉 Now you’re getting kinky. ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/37 "2005-03-30T17:20:06Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Overanalysis can take the pith out of any pithy expression. Ehhhxcellent. Then my job here is done. And now the weather here is turning. Soon it will be hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum. ---
**Author:** ![olpeculiar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@olpeculiar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/olpeculiar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/38 "2005-03-30T17:35:46Z")
/Bruces Hijack on “Hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum in here, Your Majesty” he said, and she smiled quietly to herself… /Bruces Hijack off ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574/39 "2005-03-30T18:24:39Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > My favorite is “colder than a nun’s cunt”. The offensiveness makes it good! I can’t use it anywhere, though :mad: I’m peeing my pants!! You’re welcome into my offensive circle of friends! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witch-boobies/296574.md?page=1)