# With all due respect - let's eliminate BS phrases **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909 "2018-03-02T18:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/21 "2018-03-02T20:32:41Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > …like the phrase _just deserts._ I find that usage somewhat dry… 😉 Or maybe you asked someone to list all of the environments in which they might find camels? ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@MonkeyCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyCat)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/22 "2018-03-02T20:38:19Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > I agree with getting rid of “no offense, but.” As you say, it’s a weaselly way to pretend you aren’t saying something offensive. While **begbert2’s** usage is an example of its proper usage truly meaning no offense, that’s not how it’s most often used. > > And I’m a fan of “with all due respect.” It’s not a lie, because the unspoken sentiment is how much respect you think is actually due. Yes, it’s a polite way of saying “fuck you,” and that’s how it’s intended. Agreed on the second part. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/23 "2018-03-02T20:42:12Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I find that usage somewhat dry… 😉 > > Or maybe you asked someone to list all of the environments in which they might find camels? Maybe it’s just the environments where they find the things they [_ **deser** _ve](http://grammarist.com/spelling/just-deserts-just-desserts/). See also [McKean’s Law](http://grammatically.blogspot.com/2008/04/mckeans-law.html). ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/24 "2018-03-02T20:53:24Z")
I don’t think I’ve heard this IRL, but it’s _everywhere_ on TV and in the movies: “Can I ask you a question?” I would rather hear a two-hour loop of Wilhelm Screams and "Let’s get out of here"s. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/25 "2018-03-02T21:01:05Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > “You gave a good effort out there. But I’m afraid you were off key for several long stretches, and you seemed to have difficulty hitting the high notes. I’d consider taking lessons and practicing more before performing in public. I liked your showmanship, though.” Ah, the feedback sandwich. I find this to be BS and I barely hear the first part because I’m waiting for the critical middle of the sandwich. and then I’m brooding over the middle critical part and barley hear the other piece of bread. Just give it to me straighter than that. ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/26 "2018-03-02T21:06:48Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Ah, the feedback sandwich. I find this to be BS and I barely hear the first part because I’m waiting for the critical middle of the sandwich. and then I’m brooding over the middle critical part and barley hear the other piece of bread. Just give it to me straighter than that. What a spot-on description. I had my year-end review today (not unusual to happen in March at my place) and I wasn’t really listening too carefully at all of the good stuff at the beginning because I kept waiting for the “meat” of the sandwich. Thankfully it was just good stuff this time around so that made my day. Your “feedback sandwich” describes the sensation quite well. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/27 "2018-03-02T21:09:04Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > No offense, but > > Regards, > Shodan ((((HUGS)))) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/28 "2018-03-02T21:13:47Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Ah, the feedback sandwich. I find this to be BS and I barely hear the first part because I’m waiting for the critical middle of the sandwich. and then I’m brooding over the middle critical part and barley hear the other piece of bread. Just give it to me straighter than that. Still, that says more about your listening style than **Larry Borgia** ’s hypothetical message. You hear, “You gave a good effort out there,” and you instantly hear it as the start of a criticism. What happens when the middle bit is further praise? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/29 "2018-03-02T21:18:55Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Maybe it’s just the environments where they find the things they [_ **deser** _ve](http://grammarist.com/spelling/just-deserts-just-desserts/). See also [McKean’s Law](http://grammatically.blogspot.com/2008/04/mckeans-law.html). Well thanks mucho for dispelling my ignorance. :o > [@](#): > > “Can I ask you a question?” Never heard that IRL? Man, I hear it all the time. The best - and incredibly common - usage is in a training or at a lecture, when the speaker/presenter takes questions. Some idiot is raising their hand, and then when called upon, the say, “Can I ask a question” or the variant, “I have a question.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/30 "2018-03-02T21:30:42Z")
^ Steady, **Dinsdale** , we’ll get through this together. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/31 "2018-03-02T21:35:12Z")
Vaguely related: When you’re at the end of a phone conversation, just say goodbye or 'bye. Not mmGoodbye or mmmmbye. Just a mmminor peeve. ---
**Author:** ![Apollon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47774/32.png) [@Apollon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollon)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/32 "2018-03-02T21:47:35Z")
“So to say,” “If you will,” “Yaknowwaddamean,” and all it permutations. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/33 "2018-03-02T21:49:17Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I don’t think I’ve heard this IRL, but it’s _everywhere_ on TV and in the movies: > > “Can I ask you a question?” I hear it fairly often. I enjoy replying, “You just did.” (IIRC, J.K. Rowling has Dumbledore give that response to that question in one of the Harry Potter books, but I’ve been using that smart-ass answer longer than that.) If I’m feeling kind, I follow it up with “Feel free to ask me another.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/34 "2018-03-02T21:49:29Z")
“I’m sorry, but. . .” preceding whatever self-righteous, uninformed opinion some knucklehead wants to spew, e.g., “I’m sorry, but I just don’t think vaccines are necessary.” The preface doesn’t excuse the ignorance, dear. ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/35 "2018-03-02T21:53:43Z")
‘I’m only being honest but…’ Teenage girls use this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/36 "2018-03-02T22:05:16Z")
> [@minor7flat5](#): > > What a spot-on description. I had my year-end review today (not unusual to happen in March at my place) and I wasn’t really listening too carefully at all of the good stuff at the beginning because I kept waiting for the “meat” of the sandwich. Thankfully it was just good stuff this time around so that made my day. > > Your “feedback sandwich” describes the sensation quite well. On the other hand, if someone is doing well in a lot of areas and poorly in a few, if they only get feedback on the negatives, it can give an inaccurate impression about their overall performance. So sometimes giving a mix of positive and negative is justified. In my previous team there was a lot of unhappiness about managers only ever giving feedback when you’d done something wrong, never when you’d done great. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/37 "2018-03-02T22:20:58Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I guess I should quit using it. I usually use it when I have respect for the person, but they’re being an idiot on one particular thing. I don’t use it as a fuck you. That’s how I tend to use it. It’s a useful phrase for a situation where person I respect (or at least don’t disrespect), needs to be stopped or corrected or interrupted because at that moment something is off. I wouldn’t tend to use it for someone I didn’t respect at all. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/38 "2018-03-02T22:25:43Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > No one else shares my dislike for “No further ado?” (Bonus points if written and spelt “adieu”!) Yeah, many times it is someone who is inexperienced as an emcee, just doing what they think an emcee should do. But they don’t realize that the very phrase IS the further ado they claim to be avoiding! When I hear “with no further ado” I interpret that as, “you know, I realize that I’ve been rambling and you’re all bored. Sorry. I’ll just shut up now and let things get started.” Because “with no further ado” is fewer syllables that that I’m okay with it. It may help to keep in mind that you can’t just stop talking or abruptly change the subject, as a speaker you have to have a natural flow to your words or you sound weird. “With no further ado” provides a succinct and natural way to cut off _any_ prior subject and get on with things. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/39 "2018-03-02T23:15:50Z")
All this “-mageddon” stuff is really wearing thin. Windmageddon, snowmageddon, and on and on. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a bad storm; enough! Make your point, and _gedd_ on with it. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/40 "2018-03-02T23:27:17Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > All this “-mageddon” stuff is really wearing thin. Windmageddon, snowmageddon, and on and on. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a bad storm; enough! Make your point, and _gedd_ on with it. You’re suffering under a mageddonmageddon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=3)