# With all due respect - let's eliminate BS phrases **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909 "2018-03-02T18:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/41 "2018-03-03T00:03:38Z")
Mageddon-gate? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/42 "2018-03-03T00:20:01Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Believe me Another phrase that should be eradicated. Few things make me more skeptical of the speaker than starting with “Believe me, …”. Another one I hate: “You know full well that…”. No, you’re just being intellectually lazy and trying to make some claim by fiat or truthiness. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/43 "2018-03-03T00:29:19Z")
> [@Teddie](#): > > ‘I’m only being honest but…’ > > Teenage girls use this all the time. And the variant, “I’m just saying…” Best said with arms crossed and plenty of attitude… ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/44 "2018-03-03T00:51:14Z")
I use the OP’s phrase online, specifically on twitter. Me: Something something. Total stranger: Something par for the course on the internet, would be considered hostile IRL. Me: With all due respect… In that context, the phrase is a ramp-down. It does signal that a critical remark is coming, for example a statement of fact or an observation. [Most of speech is filler.](https://www.vox.com/2015/7/7/8903123/small-talk) Flattery can be more effective than not, even when it is recognized as such. Softeners can be invaluable. Hey, I didn’t make the world. That said, I _think_ I use the OP’s phrase pretty rarely on this message board. And I find it more difficult to sign off on, “No offense, but…” ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/45 "2018-03-03T00:59:14Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Another phrase that should be eradicated. Few things make me more skeptical of the speaker than starting with “Believe me, …”. > > Another one I hate: “You know full well that…”. No, you’re just being intellectually lazy and trying to make some claim by fiat or truthiness. Or when someone prefaces their statement with “to be honest.” What, you’ve just been bullshitting this whole time up to now? ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/46 "2018-03-03T01:21:49Z")
Not sure if it fits here… “Actually, … _\_” I admit that it might all be in the tone. Maybe everyone says it and I’m only noticing the pretentious blowhards who want to go on about their superior intellect. ---
**Author:** ![Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tired_and_Cranky)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/47 "2018-03-03T01:25:24Z")
“To be honest with you,” are words that always precede lies. At least you know to pay attention to someone when they say it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/48 "2018-03-03T01:25:43Z")
“You inspire me.” Yeah?? What do I inspire in you? What do I inspire you to do? Praising me for being in a grocery store buying toilet paper to wipe my ass is not “inspiring”. It’s living. Talk about setting a low fucking bar. ---
**Author:** ![Manlob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Manlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manlob)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/49 "2018-03-03T01:31:34Z")
“That being said…” or “Having said that…” Agree with “Can I ask you a question?”. Also, “I have a stupid question.” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/50 "2018-03-03T01:37:43Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Well, how else _are_ you supposed to tell people that their singing sucks? You have to bless their hearts first: Bless your heart, you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. You can say pretty much anything as long as you bless that heart first. At an extreme, “Bless your heart, you’e a goat raping motherfucker”. Well…that might be stretching things a bit… ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/51 "2018-03-03T03:48:55Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Well, how else _are_ you supposed to tell people that their singing sucks? Tell the singer that you have a request and ask, “Do you know how to sing _"Farther Away From Me_?” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/52 "2018-03-03T04:00:21Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I guess I should quit using it. I usually use it when I have respect for the person, but they’re being an idiot on one particular thing. I don’t use it as a fuck you. Agreed. It’s akin to “please don’t take this personally”. It’s the principle behind “attack the post, not the poster”. Sure, it can be abuse. Maybe it’s abused most of the time, I don’t know. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/53 "2018-03-03T14:29:57Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > All this “-mageddon” stuff is really wearing thin. Windmageddon, snowmageddon, and on and on. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a bad storm; enough! Make your point, and _gedd_ on with it. Similarly: “-ocalypse.” > [@TroutMan](#): > > Mageddon-gate? Please tell me “-gate” has finally expired. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/54 "2018-03-03T15:20:58Z")
I’ve always interpreted the statement as ironic: as in, I’m being disrespectful because you aren’t due any greater respect. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/55 "2018-03-03T15:23:24Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > “You inspire me.” Yeah?? What do I inspire in you? What do I inspire you to do? Praising me for being in a grocery store buying toilet paper to wipe my ass is not “inspiring”. It’s living. Talk about setting a low fucking bar. I’ve talked to people who seem to think that, if they became paraplegic, they’d kill themselves. I tend to assume they are underestimating their ability to cope, but, whether they are or not, it would explain such comments. It doesn’t, however, make it an appropriate thing to say. Because who wants to think about that? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/56 "2018-03-03T15:26:53Z")
Anyone who precedes a sassy comment with “lol,” or otherwise uses it ironically. To be honest, I assume said person is just trying to rile people up. It serves no other purpose, as far as I can tell. A different sort of one: “Calm down” and the like. I can’t ever remember a single time this phrase has actually helped. It seems more like “I don’t think what you are upset about is important enough to discuss.” It’s just “shut the fuck up” in more presentable clothing. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/57 "2018-03-03T15:35:49Z")
> [@StrangeBird](#): > > On the other hand, if someone is doing well in a lot of areas and poorly in a few, if they only get feedback on the negatives, it can give an inaccurate impression about their overall performance. So sometimes giving a mix of positive and negative is justified. > > In my previous team there was a lot of unhappiness about managers only ever giving feedback when you’d done something wrong, never when you’d done great. Or the equally annoying variant, only giving the positive feedback. I have a lecturer at the moment who gave everyone ‘feedback’ for their first assignment for her that was a straight list of everything she liked. Not a suggestion of what could be improved anywhere. I’m quite tempted to go ask her, given the feedback we had, why didn’t everyone get 100%…? > [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](#): > > “To be honest with you,” are words that always precede lies. At least you know to pay attention to someone when they say it. Not always, in my experience; I generally hear it from fed up people in customer service who’ve reached the end of their script, normally followed up with ‘I have no idea’. Said it myself in that context, when someone had persisted in asking me stuff, I’d run out of minor time delaying platitudes, and whatever they were asking for (delivery, person coming back from break etc) really should have happened by now. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/58 "2018-03-03T18:27:15Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Ah, the feedback sandwich. I find this to be BS and I barely hear the first part because I’m waiting for the critical middle of the sandwich. and then I’m brooding over the middle critical part and barley hear the other piece of bread. Just give it to me straighter than that. IME, the people who ask you to “give it to me straight” are the people most likely to freak the fuck out when you do, in fact, give it to them straight. “Give it to me straight, how was my singing?” “It was terrible. You can’t stay on key and you can’t hit the high notes for your range. Maybe lessons and practice would help a bit, but you’re really not good enough for even an amateur chorus.” “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” There are exceptions, and I’m sure you are one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/59 "2018-03-03T18:31:09Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Similarly: “-ocalypse.” > > Please tell me “-gate” has finally expired. No, but it needs to be thrown under the bus. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/60 "2018-03-03T19:20:44Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I don’t think I’ve heard this IRL, but it’s _everywhere_ on TV and in the movies: > > “Can I ask you a question?” > > I would rather hear a two-hour loop of Wilhelm Screams and "Let’s get out of here"s. I’ve said that numerous times. but (not joking) I usually do it in hopes of setting up an _Airplane!_ joke. You know: “Can I ask you a question?” “What is it?” “… it’s an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge. But that’s not important right now!” (_asks actual question_) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=4)