# With all due respect - let's eliminate BS phrases **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909 "2018-03-02T18:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/61 "2018-03-03T20:21:26Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > I’ve said that numerous times. but (not joking) I usually do it in hopes of setting up an _Airplane!_ joke. You know: > > “Can I ask you a question?” > > “What is it?” > > “… it’s an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge. But that’s not important right now!” (_asks actual question_) Now, THIS I heartily approve of. Keep up the good work. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/62 "2018-03-03T21:37:57Z")
“But I digress”. Don’t like it and I always will. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/63 "2018-03-03T22:26:21Z")
“You’re an inspiration.” Well, maybe, but it’s not because I’m buying toilet paper. The term has lost any and all meaning. Its something people say to make themselves feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/64 "2018-03-03T22:58:47Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Does anyone else perceive that just about every time someone prefaces their remarks with “With all due respect,” what they are actually communicating is that they do not believe the recipient merits much if any respect? Generally I’ll encounter someone using those words when the entirety of their behavior up to that point demonstrates a clear lack of respect. In such cases, “With all due respect” essentially comes across as “Fuck you!” > > Another blatherism I’d love to eliminate is “With no further ado.” How about just avoiding the ado of that phrase, and do what you intend to? > > Anyone else have any meaningless phrases that tend to cork you? In an employment situation, I can tell the boss what he needs to hear or I can tell him what he wants to hear. If I need the social construct of using that phrase in combination with information that might effect his or her decision, then pretty much I am throwing him/her under the bus and the conversation is for the purposes of the next conversation with his or her next in chain of command. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/65 "2018-03-03T23:57:04Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > IME, the people who ask you to “give it to me straight” are the people most likely to freak the fuck out when you do, in fact, give it to them straight. > > … > > There are exceptions, and I’m sure you are one of them. In my case, I hate myself so criticism meshes well with my self-image. I agree with a mix of good and bad feedback, particularly in my performance review, it’s just when someone uses the sandwich in a way that suggests they were told it in a management seminar.\* OTOH, I brought it up in another training about personal style and conflict, and the instructor said it was a sign of politeness, that the person took the time to reflect on their feedback and not just blurt out the criticism. It made me realize it is a part of social lubrication and I am trying to look at it in that light. \*A course on communication and email etiquette was given at work and one of the points was some sort of greeting and not just launching into a demand or whatever. One guy, who seems socially awkward, now has been beginning every email ever since then with “I hope everything is going well.” Do you, do you really? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/66 "2018-03-04T03:31:25Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > In my case, I hate myself so criticism meshes well with my self-image. > > I agree with a mix of good and bad feedback, particularly in my performance review, it’s just when someone uses the sandwich in a way that suggests they were told it in a management seminar.\* > > OTOH, I brought it up in another training about personal style and conflict, and the instructor said it was a sign of politeness, that the person took the time to reflect on their feedback and not just blurt out the criticism. It made me realize it is a part of social lubrication and I am trying to look at it in that light. > \*A course on communication and email etiquette was given at work and one of the points was some sort of greeting and not just launching into a demand or whatever. One guy, who seems socially awkward, now has been beginning every email ever since then with “I hope everything is going well.” Do you, do you really? 🙂 That’s cool. I don’t want to belabor the issue, I’ve just found that techniques like the feedback sandwich have helped me defuse potentially volatile situations. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/67 "2018-03-04T04:04:00Z")
I try not to go ballistic when some passive aggressive fuckwit (who’s most likely butthurt about something) tries the “Can I ask you a question?” gripe on me. I respond “Nope. Lawyers. Talk to my lawyers.” Yeah [buzzwords](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=787323) can get pretty BS-y indeed. > [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > This is code for, I have been told never to speak directly to anyone in the chain of command above me, and that I must always use weasel words like “with all due respect” before offering feedback (which I am required to do as part of my job) or I will be written up. In fact, I was written up in September for doing so. Everyone admits that I used no insults, no swear words, was clear and well-spoken, and that they think I had positive intent. But I am officially required to lick boots more. > > Thin skins, fragile egos, fourth-rate minds. I now begin every sentence with “respectfully.” I think I’d go batshit insane if I tried to toe that line. Perhaps if I was bringing in $750,000 annually (after taxes) I _could_ entertain the idea of prefacing everything I said with “respectfully”. Maybe. > [@BigT](#): > > A different sort of one: “Calm down” and the like. I can’t ever remember a single time this phrase has actually helped. It seems more like “I don’t think what you are upset about is important enough to discuss.” It’s just “shut the fuck up” in more presentable clothing. Especially the “Stay Calm and…” meme\*. I think it’s been a couple years now, but I still bristle at the thought of t-shirts, bumperstickers, douchenozzles… > [@Ambivalid](#): > > “You’re an inspiration.” Nope. Try again: “You’re the in-spuh-_ **raaaaaayyyy** -shun_” \*Sorry, **Procustus**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/68 "2018-03-04T04:46:39Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > I’ve said that numerous times. but (not joking) I usually do it in hopes of setting up an _Airplane!_ joke. You know: > > “Can I ask you a question?” > > “What is it?” > > “… it’s an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge. But that’s not important right now!” (_asks actual question_) When my kids were tweens they had a habit of saying “I have a question…” My response was always “I have an answer, let’s see if they match.” They would then ask a perfectly normal question, to which I replied “My answer was ‘squid ink’…I guess they didn’t match. Oh well.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/69 "2018-03-04T06:03:39Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I hear it fairly often. I enjoy replying, “You just did.” > > (IIRC, J.K. Rowling has Dumbledore give that response to that question in one of the Harry Potter books, but I’ve been using that smart-ass answer longer than that.) Yeah, that’s a real old response to that (and one that I use, too, from time to time if I’m feeling silly or dickish), probably dating from shortly after the question was first used. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/70 "2018-03-04T12:28:57Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > You have to bless their hearts first: Bless your heart, you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. > > You can say pretty much anything as long as you bless that heart first. At an extreme, “Bless your heart, you’e a goat raping motherfucker”. Well…that might be stretching things a bit… To be honest, and with all due respect (sorry, couldn’t resist), I rarely hear the ‘bless your heart’ upfront. It’s almost always at the end, IME. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/71 "2018-03-04T12:30:04Z")
> [@minor7flat5](#): > > When my kids were tweens they had a habit of saying “I have a question…” > My response was always “I have an answer, let’s see if they match.” > > They would then ask a perfectly normal question, to which I replied “My answer was ‘squid ink’…I guess they didn’t match. Oh well.” I am SO going to use this, the next time I have the opportunity. ETA: Preferably with the Firebug, who’s in his pre-teen years, but not limiting myself to him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/72 "2018-03-04T12:33:30Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Nope. Try again: > > “You’re the in-spuh-_ **raaaaaayyyy** -shun_” That song’s gonna be running through my head all day, isn’t it? Yer evil, you are. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/73 "2018-03-04T16:31:39Z")
Two pet peeves. The first is appending “…and you know it!” to any tendentious assertion of fact or opinion in the course of a debate, such as “Star Trek is by far greater than Star Wars, and you know it!” The clear implication is that my opinion to the contrary is not honestly held, but it’s a clumsy and downright odd way to say it. Maybe noobs who hear it for the first time are goaded into defending their honesty and distracted from advancing their position on the contentious issue, but most people don’t fall for that, surely. Second peeve is the non-apology apology. “I’m sorry if you were offended by what I said” is just blaming the offended person for their reaction, and not apologising at all. It’s become such a cliche that everyone immediately spots it. Should be sent to a farm upstate where it can run and play… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/74 "2018-03-04T23:52:27Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > \ “You’re the in-spuh-_ **raaaaaayyyy** -shun_” \ > [@RTFirefly](#): > > That song’s gonna be running through my head all day, isn’t it? Yer evil, you are. 😉 With all due respect, when that song was released, it was truly the night Chicago died. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/75 "2018-03-05T00:07:46Z")
I also believe referring to any adult with an IQ above 70 should never be referred to by a stranger as “Champ” or “Killer”. So those two words should be banned from being used as nicknames in adult discourse. ---
**Author:** ![bunyupp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@bunyupp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunyupp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/76 "2018-03-05T02:48:44Z")
Dom Irrera has similar ideas [in this clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CqT4_vSm5E) (start about the 1 minute mark). ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/77 "2018-03-05T04:30:11Z")
I wish people would quit using “As a this, that, or other…” and just get on with the inevitable chiding or bragging. ---
**Author:** ![Dickerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Dickerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dickerman)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/78 "2018-03-05T11:42:08Z")
I dislike the phrases “Having said that…” and “That being said…” and the like. They’re superfluous, annoying, and often used incorrectly. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/79 "2018-03-05T11:52:42Z")
“To be fair…” is a meaningless preamble that seems to be very popular with young people here at the moment. I think it serves no more function than to allow interruption without the first few words of the interruptor’s actual spoken intent being lost. There are legitimate examples for many of the phrases people have listed here (usually in a more formal setting); for example, I’ve seen things like: “With all due respect to Mr Buckett’s quote and plan, Policy insists that we obtain three comparative quotes before proceeding”. Whilst not strictly necessary, the preamble does help to clarify intent. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909/80 "2018-03-05T15:17:56Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > “To be fair…” is a meaningless preamble that seems to be very popular with young people here at the moment. I think it serves no more function than to allow interruption without the first few words of the interruptor’s actual spoken intent being lost. > > There are legitimate examples for many of the phrases people have listed here (usually in a more formal setting); for example, I’ve seen things like: > > “With all due respect to Mr Buckett’s quote and plan, Policy insists that we obtain three comparative quotes before proceeding”. Whilst not strictly necessary, the preamble does help to clarify intent. “Of course” is one of those expressions that seems to be used without any regard for what it might actually might mean as far as the logical course of an argument. Eg. To be fair, Mr. Trump does hide his bald spot well unless, of course, there is a strong wind. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-all-due-respect-lets-eliminate-bs-phrases/809909.md?page=5)