# With Eutychus' permission, I humbly present Brain Games #5: Burma Shave **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568 "1999-11-05T15:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/1 "1999-11-05T15:23:00Z")
For those who don’t know, 40-50 years ago Burma Shave would post signs on the roadside which featured a catchy, rhyming little jingles. There were usually 4-5 signs that would be read in order as the car passed them, and the last one always had the Burma Shave logo on it. _Games_ Magazine ran a puzzle with these as the premise. Here’s a couple that they had (my apologies to anyone who may still be trying to solve an 8-year old puzzle): Hey you birds These signs cost money So roost a while But don’t get funny Riot at drugstore Calling all cars 100 customers 99 jars These would have both had a 5th sign that read simply, “Burma Shave”. So, Dopers, let’s go. I wanna see some humorous, subpar poetry. Incidentally, this is my 100th post. There’s cake and ice cream over in GQ, beer and appetizers in MPSIMS, and big fuckin’ group hug over in the Pit. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/2 "1999-11-05T15:42:00Z")
For good OPs You’ve quite a knack But now this thread I must hijack Burma Shave What was the last Burma Shave sign, and why did they stop? * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/3 "1999-11-05T15:42:00Z")
If your wife avoids your sweet embrace Don’t shoot the milkman Shave your face Burma Shave (I didn’t make that one up) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/4 "1999-11-05T15:44:00Z")
Used lighted match To check his tank That’s why they call him Skinless Frank BURMA SHAVE (I didn’t make that one up, either. It’s often cited as the most tasteless Burma Shave jingle ever.) * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/5 "1999-11-05T15:48:00Z")
You know, I can’t believe I didn’t post my original one. Don’t get hitched Before you’re grown You might end up At _Home Alone_ Burma Shave * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/6 "1999-11-05T15:48:00Z")
Manhattan: the Burma Shave signs only worked if you were motoring along at about thirty or forty miles an hour. They were small, and usually placed along rural roads. With the advent of the superhighways, and 65-mile-an-hour speed limits, big billboards became the most effective method of roadside advertising. See Bill Vossler’s charming little book BURMA SHAVE: THE RHYMES, THE SIGNS, THE TIMES (North Star Press, 1998). * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/7 "1999-11-05T15:55:00Z")
Now prose yet, just a link to url=http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma.htm]Burma Shave slogans * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/8 "1999-11-05T15:59:00Z")
Of course, there was this nice little Mad Magazine parody: Empty beer cans On the road Are ugly, many say But at night Reflecting bright They safely guide the way! BURMA SHAVE Okay, I promise I won’t come in here again without an original composition in hand. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/9 "1999-11-05T15:59:00Z")
[Burma Shave Slogans](http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma.htm) * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/10 "1999-11-05T16:01:00Z")
OK, it took something THIS STUPID to lure me back on-line. A Burma-Shave sign I actually saw, c1967, between Phila. and New York: Does your husband Misbehave? Grunt and grumble? Rant and rave? Shoot the brute some BURMA SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/11 "1999-11-05T16:05:00Z")
This message board is sure to dread the third gry word and the felching thread. ## Burma Shave Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/12 "1999-11-05T16:41:00Z")
Flora’s back! It’s sure as eggs She used store-bought foam To shave her legs BURMA SHAVE –Uke, running and ducking ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/13 "1999-11-05T16:55:00Z")
On the big faux willie He took a pass It’s exit only For Satan’s ass Burma Shave * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/14 "1999-11-05T17:04:00Z")
Such lovely praise, As that from Uke! I’d kiss him, but The Board might puke . . . BURMA SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/15 "1999-11-05T17:14:00Z")
The day is brillig And borogroves mimsy No vorpal blade Is as keen as McFlimsey BURMA SHAVE * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/16 "1999-11-05T17:19:00Z")
Oh, well, Jeez, if you’re gonna start relying on Lewis Carroll rather than reaching over for your rhyming dictionary . . . Despite some jerks I could not flee For long from friends at SDMB BURMA SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/17 "1999-11-05T17:21:00Z")
Well, YOU try coming up with an actual word that rhymes with McFlimsey. That sort of effort can quickly become grim, see? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/18 "1999-11-05T17:32:00Z")
Something old but new For you in the car Guess from the clue: Myanmar Burma Shave * * * La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit. H. de Livry ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/19 "1999-11-05T17:38:00Z")
I’ll tell you what, My lazy beau– There’s LOTS of words That rhyme with “Flo!” BURMA SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/20 "1999-11-05T17:53:00Z")
I think I’ll scream Or maybe puke From this lovefest Between Flo and Uke * * * Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568.md?page=2)