# With Eutychus' permission, I humbly present Brain Games #5: Burma Shave **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568 "1999-11-05T15:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/61 "1999-11-05T21:31:00Z")
For hosting our prank This imbecile Would like to thank Our dear Cecil ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/62 "1999-11-05T21:43:00Z")
To prevent this thread’s Dissolution Here will I tread Evolution What other topic Would prick up ears And bring on epic Reponses here Verses this fine Causing mind dance Something divine? Or random chance? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/63 "1999-11-05T21:46:00Z")
Which came first, Chick or egg? Answers please, Don’t make me beg. BURMA-SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/64 "1999-11-05T22:04:00Z")
This thread’s a wonder Yes, it’s true Eleven posters But pages two? BURMA-SHAVE * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/65 "1999-11-05T22:04:00Z")
The first egg-layer: a dinosaur then chicks evolved and laid some more. Did chicks evolve? Not all, I feel. Some still watch _Ally McBeal_. * * * Back off, man. I’m a scientist. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/66 "1999-11-05T22:21:00Z")
The laughs were real The jingles swell I wish you all A fond farewell BURMA-SHAVE * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/67 "1999-11-05T22:26:00Z")
I too am, Out of here, On my way, For a beer. I’ll leave this for, You, my friend, I’d rather drink, than bartend * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/68 "1999-11-05T22:29:00Z")
Ally McBeal, I must say. Is a show thats really grossa. Its a good way to make young girls pick up Anorexia Nevosa BURMA-SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/69 "1999-11-05T22:32:00Z")
Here’s another For the mix We can call it Stupid poet tricks. BURMA SHAVE! * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/70 "1999-11-05T22:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. --Mullinator However, in Tennessee, it _is_ apparently legal to rub dead squirrels upon unsuspecting schoolgirls. ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/71 "1999-11-06T02:28:00Z")
Folks know not To drink and drive So pass the keys And keep alive! BURMA-SHAVE – Sylence * * * And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references. ---
**Author:** ![SterlingNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/72 "1999-11-06T02:47:00Z")
SterlingNorth’s too shy to try a rhyme to put forth and Submit a Reply Burma-Shave ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/73 "1999-11-06T06:03:00Z")
Now Sterling, Don’t yourself berate Says Catrandom (as usual weighing in late) Burma-Shave Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/74 "1999-11-06T06:53:00Z")
I do not know To rhyme quite well. But many of yours Do ring my bell. Burma-Shave -Pix, abashedly. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/75 "1999-11-06T07:07:00Z")
Wow, I was on a Burma Shave ditty kick a while back ( during a long cold winter) and wanted to do one on our (private drive/dirt road) street to get the idiots to slow down.Espcially the gd garbarge trucks who are ruining the road, but I digress. I came up with a couple pretty clever ( I must say) ones and CANNOT FIND THEM . ARGH. I shall have to rattle my skull and see if I can duplicate genius twice in my lifetime. Meanwhile, a lame attempt: To cold to stay out. Get outta the wind. We sat in the house Shaving our chin. Burma Shave (Yes, it’s a rip off/hat tipper to Dr. Suess. I have a toddler, bite me.) ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/76 "1999-11-07T06:33:00Z")
Shirley Ujest When you tell us to bite. Garbage men will see and it won’t look quite right. BURMA-SHAVE ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/77 "1999-11-06T20:40:00Z")
Grnning at many posts Of Uke,Flo and UncleBeer, yet, wondering to myself Shouldn’t TennHippie be here? * * * “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) `\/-------\ `| |-----| | …c.c…c.c… ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/78 "1999-11-06T20:43:00Z")
How could I forget? To young to realize! Burma Shave is too old- and never seen by my eyes! ## BURMA SHAVE “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) `\/-------\ `| |-----| | …c.c…c.c… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/79 "1999-11-06T21:50:00Z")
'Tis queer But true: In Gay Paree The faygelehs Wear no goatee. Burma Shave If your mouth should Fill up with hair Note You can use it Anywhere Burma Shave Get your face smooth As all sweet heck Then get thee to A discotheque Burma Shave ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568/80 "1999-11-06T22:23:00Z")
It’s mighty easy To sit right here And type a ditty That doesn’t rhyme. Burma Shave. * * * “My hovercraft is full of eels.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-eutychus-permission-i-humbly-present-brain-games-5-burma-shave/12568.md?page=5)