# With few exceptions, fuck most things **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 6, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199 "2010-12-06T21:17:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/21 "2010-12-07T03:50:34Z")
Did the cinder block come in your crapshack through the window and that’s how the window broke? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/22 "2010-12-07T04:22:55Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What does a turd made of fuck taste like? If I were to guess, I’d say it tastes like nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/23 "2010-12-07T04:47:28Z")
I see you were in the same kind of mood as I was today. I wonder if it’s the weather, or the sun setting so damn early. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/24 "2010-12-07T04:51:13Z")
You microwave eggs? That’s your problem right there. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/25 "2010-12-07T05:08:15Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > The computer’s not broken, right? Or the iphone. > > I want a blanket fort in my crapshack. Blankets are broken too, I guess. Fuck blankets! (How do they work?) ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/26 "2010-12-07T05:38:26Z")
I predict that “WHY IS THERE A CINDER BLOCK IN MY KITCHEN?” will become a Straight Dope meme like “1920s style ray gun” or “masturbating like a mother fuck!”. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/27 "2010-12-07T05:43:00Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I like the bit about the barking dogs that are fucking each other everywhere. I don’t think he meant that literally. It was an expletive like - _They’re freakin’ everywhere!_ Or did you realize that? ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/28 "2010-12-07T05:45:35Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I predict that “WHY IS THERE A CINDER BLOCK IN MY KITCHEN?” will become a Straight Dope meme like “1920s style ray gun” or “masturbating like a mother fuck!”. “Death ray” not “ray gun”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/29 "2010-12-07T06:10:05Z")
The important thing is that the OP is living the dream. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/30 "2010-12-07T12:27:08Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > …right up the cock with a dick. Every single modern convenience of mine is broken. Except my- but I’m not going to say what’s not broke because it’ll break. > > First of all, the windows on my crapshack don’t close properly. It’s exactly as cold inside as it is outside. All the time. Plus barking dogs FUCKING EVERYWHERE. > > Then my electricity fucked up. If I draw too much power (like microwaving an egg) shit trips out. I took a cold goddamn bath this morning. **Outside (which is the same as inside) is colder than a witch’s nipple made of asteroids on the moon. I have no more dick.** My parts of privacy are indistinguishable from a peach pit that’s been dry for several days, except it’s got a shriveled little stem. > > Then I got drunk and smashed my shin into a cinder block. WHY IS THERE A CINDER BLOCK IN MY KITCHEN? I can’t even show off my awesome wound because it’s too cold to wear shorts. So what the fuck was the point? > > And then I watched Attack of the Clones with the director commentary on. That fuckingcuntsteakdick-knoblerdildofuckbuttshittoast wasn’t even slightly barely repentant. **He was talking about parallelism while Jarjar was ON THE GODDAMN SCREEN. Eat a turd made of fuck.** > I now live in a blanket fort, inside my crapshack. I have a space heater that keeps me warm. I put the TV inside too. But, no matter how carefully I arrange the blankets, a rogue draft always appears OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE. 1. Oh my god that’s the best transition ever. 2. No words would describe my child-like laughter for 2-3 minutes straight. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/31 "2010-12-07T14:35:59Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I don’t think he meant that literally. It was an expletive like - _They’re freakin’ everywhere!_ > > Or did you realize that? I think he was making ha-ha. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/32 "2010-12-07T14:57:05Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What does a turd made of fuck taste like? Turducken. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/33 "2010-12-07T15:12:44Z")
_::checks the date::_ Leftover turd made of fuck, that’s the worst. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/34 "2010-12-07T16:26:10Z")
OK - My turn > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What does a turd made of fuck taste like? Kind of like pan fried semen only a little nuttier with an aftertaste of poopy. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/35 "2010-12-07T17:53:02Z")
Electricians are on the way. They could have been here Monday, but instead of calling somebody on Sunday, I figured I’d just get drunk. Slightly amusing/depressing: my toilet is now frozen. I go to take a leak and see a skin of ice, which doesn’t give me pause because I figure my warm juice will break it up. But of course, the flapper assembly is also frozen in place, which I didn’t consider. It’s a pissicle by now. Also, my oven was half way across the room, but I can at least guess as to why. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I love the inclusion of the window among the modern conveniences. I said windows- plural. We can send a window into space, but we can’t make the ones on our crapshacks work? > [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > You microwave eggs? That’s your problem right there. It’s the exact same thing as boiling them, except futuristic (70sly speaking). ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/36 "2010-12-07T18:03:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What does a turd made of fuck taste like? I dunno, but I’m betting it’s pretty close to Marie Callender’s meatloaf. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/37 "2010-12-07T18:19:06Z")
**Walmarticus** , If your toilet’s frozen you may end up with some burst pipes. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/38 "2010-12-07T18:19:55Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > **Walmarticus** , > If your toilet’s frozen you may end up with some burst pipes. What if my hot water heater freezes? Bad? ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/39 "2010-12-07T18:22:35Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > What if my hot water heater freezes? Bad? I’m not a plumber but I would imagine so. Your house is below freezing? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199/40 "2010-12-07T18:24:48Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > Slightly amusing/depressing: my toilet is now frozen. I go to take a leak and see a skin of ice, which doesn’t give me pause because I figure my warm juice will break it up. But of course, the flapper assembly is also frozen in place, which I didn’t consider. It’s a pissicle by now. If you pour a pot of boiling water into it, you’ll have material for a whole new rant. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-few-exceptions-fuck-most-things/563199.md?page=3)