# "With my luck I'll get the half that talks." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [August 25, 2024, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170 "2024-08-25T00:54:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/1 "2024-08-25T00:54:41Z")
Does anyone remember an old black and white movie (or maybe all I had at the time was a black and white television) where two men were pretending to be magicians and were about to do the saw the lady in half trick. One of the men says, “With my luck I’ll get the half that talks.” That’s about all I remember. I thought they did a pretty good job of getting stuff past the censor. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/2 "2024-08-25T01:45:41Z")
I’m not sure I see why that would/should have been censored. Do you mean because of the sexism? (_damn mouthy wimmins!_) ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/3 "2024-08-25T02:03:53Z")
What would the other half be capable of doing? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/4 "2024-08-25T02:37:20Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > One of the men says, “With my luck I’ll get the half that talks.” Googling that line produces > **[Amazon.com: Agony - The Complete Series \[DVD\] \[1979\] : Movies & TV](https://www.amazon.com/Agony-The-Complete-Series-DVD/dp/B002KAIVOK)** > > All 20 episodes of the early-1980s sitcom starring Maureen Lipman as radio agony aunt Jane Lucas. As well as solving her callers' problems, she's got plenty of her own, including her very Jewish mother, the gay couple who live upstairs, and her... The reference is found below > [@](#): > > The script is sparkling and utterly non-PC: when two men are fighting over Lipman’s character she says, “Go ahead, rip me in two”; her husband responds, “With my luck, I’ll get the half that talks.” ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/5 "2024-08-25T03:51:42Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > The reference is found below > > > [@](#): > > > > The script is sparkling and utterly non-PC: when two men are fighting over Lipman’s character she says, “Go ahead, rip me in two”; her husband responds, “With my luck, I’ll get the half that talks.” I think the part where she says: _“Go ahead, rip me in two”_ is more suggestive than the “half that talks” line. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/6 "2024-08-25T14:31:53Z")
Woody Allen used a similar line in a scene with Diane Keaton in **Love and Death**. She is talking about her sensuality and spirituality and says, “I guess you could say I’m half saint, half whore.” He replies, “Here’s hoping I get the half that eats.” ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/7 "2024-08-25T14:43:50Z")
I don’t think _Agony_ is where I heard it. It looked more like a 40s or 50s movie. The lady that was the subject of the line was a magician’s assistant already in the box for the trick. I don’t recall anything other than American accents. Was the scene in _Agony_ anything like this? I don’t remember ever watching _Agony_. I may not be getting the line exactly correct. Maybe the line was, “With my luck I’ll get the end that eats and talks.” or some other variation. I have had no luck with Google with any of this. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/8 "2024-08-25T14:58:20Z")
I recognize it as a Benny Hill joke, which by definition means it was stolen from some long dead vaudevillian. > **[Unlucky Luke](https://benny-hill.fandom.com/wiki/Unlucky_Luke)** > > Unlucky Luke was the opening number on February 10, 1982. It was performed by Benny Hill on a Western-styled set and accompanied Henry McGee, Jack Wright, Jon Jon Keefe and Jenny Lee Wright with Alison Bell, Sue Upton, Samantha Spencer-Lane, Cheryl... ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/9 "2024-08-25T15:20:24Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > What would the other half be capable of doing? I think the point was that the other half didn’t talk. Absence of talking was the desired trait. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/10 "2024-08-25T15:29:19Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Absence of talking was the desired trait. It was immediately clear to me that the joke was that the other half included the genitalia. I think this might be an old joke that has been recycled many times. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2024, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/11 "2024-08-25T15:58:50Z")
As seen in one of Piet Hein’s _Grooks_: > The Little Mermaid’s Little Sister > was also partly girl and cod > though in a way which those who kissed her > found odd. > > …but which, well worth to mention, > though at first sight absurd, > I, with my fond intention, > preferred. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2024, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/12 "2024-08-28T20:09:27Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > > > Absence of talking was the desired trait. > > It was immediately clear to me that the joke was that the other half included the genitalia. I think this might be an old joke that has been recycled many times. Why can’t it be both? 😉 The point being there’d be a win-win half and a lose-lose half. But I’m with @Ynnad here. The obvious interpretation is what @Darren_Garrison points out. But it’s the unstated second half of the equation that contains all the punch. In our modern full-frontal-everything world it’s easy to forget just how refined was the art of the double or triple _entendre_. One of my favorite examples from the 1960s was from a Tom Lehrer album recorded live in a large theater with a large crowd. He’s doing a monologue intro to a song and says > Harry used to major in Animal Husbandry. Until they caught him at it one day. A small fraction of the audience begin to titter and laugh and you can hear this slowly filtering around the room without building to a crescendo. At which point Tom cuts off the moment by saying: > The rest of you can have it explained to you when you get home. And begins playing whatever song was being introduced. All the humor there needs to be worked for; it isn’t obvious. Unlike in our modern unsubtle zero-attention-span era. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2024, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/with-my-luck-ill-get-the-half-that-talks/1006170/13 "2024-08-28T20:12:43Z")
I kinda feel like I saw this in a movie recently. One old movie I watched this summer was “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” Perhaps it was said by a magician during George’s vaudeville days?