# Within this thread, we rhyme instead **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311 "2003-07-04T23:31:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/81 "2003-07-06T01:04:55Z")
I messed up the last line. Corrected version: There was a Doper from Nantucket Who built sandcastles using a bucket. A great wave washed away His castles one day. He shrugged and said, “Oh, fuck it.” ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/82 "2003-07-06T03:36:39Z")
My dinner party was, alas, without me, as I am an ass. I awoke at seven-thirty with a head full of hurty. Now the fridge is dead and I must be gone the morrow instead. All the frozen goodies will be lost; we will replace them, no matter the cost. The box will be fixed, thank you Roebucks and Sears; the food will be nixed, as I would Britney Spears. I shall wind down this drivel anon; as I have a friend named Ron. That was a forced rhyme; but I am out of time. Farewell kiddies, and think before you take the next drink. And one last little run (Oh gods! tell me he’s _done?)_ Here I sit, broken handed; tried to post but only landed. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/83 "2003-07-06T04:50:03Z")
We have a new user named **Verick** At whose new-to-us features we stare-ick. (S)He only posts rhyme With fair meter and time But (s)he does so with plenty of flair-ick! This thread is sure catching on fire The prose becomes faster and drier It’s clear we compete for the “best poet” seat But the content’s - er - deeper and higher. (eh hem) I’m sure that the OP was trying To spur on an art which is dying. While this may be true I think this thread is due For an old-fashioned Southern pan-frying. The poems I’m not criticizing! They’re helping with smarting and wiseing! Why, I feel my brain It’s expanding again! It’s okay. I’m used to it resizing. I’ve written this all on the fly I hope it’s an adequate try. It’s gone long enough Now the rhyming is tough So I’ll cheerfully bid you, “Bye bye!” ---
**Author:** ![PurePhreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7993a0/32.png) [@PurePhreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurePhreak)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/84 "2003-07-06T05:36:51Z")
The users are radical the poems are hysterical the writers somatic the readers erratic it’s time for a nap and all this will rap ending with notes from a sap and that’s that… ---
**Author:** ![Mellenkra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9a28c/32.png) [@Mellenkra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellenkra)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/85 "2003-07-06T11:54:18Z")
What joy to see At least for me So much rhyme In a short time ---
**Author:** ![Verick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ea666f/32.png) [@Verick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verick)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/86 "2003-07-06T16:23:15Z")
I have to thank Hamadryad. His hand at poetry he tryad! He honored me with his verse. And I have to admit, I’ve read worse. So once again I humbly bow. And wonder, What will happen now? ---
**Author:** ![Hitsnarfle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@Hitsnarfle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hitsnarfle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/87 "2003-07-06T19:15:48Z")
With mimes and authors and clowns One can make errors with pronouns And for posters here this is true (But not the ones you hang up with glue) Frozen verse on a summer’s day Trapped in bytes and poised to unfurl Even though the reader may Not be a boy but instead a girl On this thread I’d not be dumb on to say Hama’s no girl, but a woman I’m not sure how it would bend her To make a mistake upon her gender 'Tis much better to be safe than sorry ('Tis better, really, to be hit by a lorry) Than to unknowingly arouse the ire Of said veritable weisenheimer * * * Paradox is not When you speak of two doctors This is not haiku ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/88 "2003-07-06T20:22:10Z")
Orson opabinia Liked to water zinnias but then he snapped and then he slapped to death someone named Rinni-a. ---
**Author:** ![Verick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ea666f/32.png) [@Verick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verick)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/89 "2003-07-06T20:50:46Z")
My most humble apology, If you feel that I’ve offended thee. Your gender I seem to have twisted. In the above words which I listed. Next time I’ll be sure to check things out. Please refrain, don’t scream, don’t shout. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/90 "2003-07-07T21:16:03Z")
I have learned the meaning of life, It doesn’t lie in a job or a wife. It’s not about the kids you’ve got, nor the car parked (in your parking lot). It’s not to worship on bended knee, It’s not to conquer every enemy. Meaning can’t be found in a book, and it can’t be found in how we look. Meaning must be found only in the now, no matter the where, when, why, or the how. Enjoy every moment, whatever it takes, Find the good in the bad for goodness sakes. Even pain and sadness have a place, To know any of it at all is my saving grace. There is no goal which we MUST move towards, Sensations aren’t the tools, they are the rewards. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/91 "2003-07-07T22:48:31Z")
What a wonderful thing is a carrot! How slender! How orange! How sleek! You’ll not find such grace in a turnip Nor strength such as this in a leek. No parsnip could e’er be so shapely Nor aubergine show such finesse; Radicchio fades in its presence And onions appeal even less. Don’t be fooled by its rugged appearance; It needs no false trappings to please: No husks to be shucked as with sweetcorn, No pod to discard as with peas. So let us give thanks for the carrot; Three cheers for this edible root! I’d gladly eat nothing but carrots But, on the whole, I prefer fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Mellenkra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9a28c/32.png) [@Mellenkra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellenkra)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/92 "2003-07-09T11:30:35Z")
Your poem, I think, **jr8** Is so funny and just great! ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/93 "2003-07-09T15:09:15Z")
Um. Hum. ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/94 "2003-07-09T15:14:48Z")
I feel the need to injectify more poetry, to rectify the lagging momentum of this post Want some wine? (I’m a good host). ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/95 "2003-07-09T15:20:18Z")
I feel the need to injectify more poetry, to rectify the lagging momentum of this post Want some wine? (I’m a good host). ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/96 "2003-07-09T22:56:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mellenkra \* > \*\*Your poem, I think, **jr8** > Is so funny and just great! \*\* I’m glad you enjoyed my small parody Regarding all vegetables carrotty. Now, if I had said I liked kumquats instead, I feel sure you’d have deemed it a rarity. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/97 "2003-07-10T03:06:39Z")
Indeed, I _have_ forgotten this thread; I thought that by now it would surely be dead. Why I did, it’s not clear; but I went and got a beer And almost missed what others here have said. ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/98 "2003-07-10T12:05:14Z")
I don’t know what to do with my time I’ve had to resort to posts that rhyme i finished school at the end of July and I’ve got nothing else to do, really. The end of that verse kinda sucked I’d fix it but i can’t be fucked to think of something else that rhymes Oh. I did it again. So now you can see why i think I failed english (the teacher really was a dick) nothing i can think of rhymes exept fish but that has nothing to do with anything that ive just been talking about and i think this line is a little bit too long. I should go outside, the sun is shining but I’m busy with my whining and the heat makes my hair go frizzy but it is already so maybe i will. Screw it, I’ll just stay here. Erm, i think somebodys breaking into my house… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/99 "2003-07-10T12:15:51Z")
These rhymes are too paltry; It’s time to move on. I’ll throw down the gauntlet: It’s sonnets at dawn! ---
**Author:** ![Mellenkra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9a28c/32.png) [@Mellenkra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellenkra)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311/100 "2003-07-10T23:25:31Z")
So close now I think, to page three But not that sort, you know, naughty [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/within-this-thread-we-rhyme-instead/186311.md?page=6)