# Witness haters--are you happy now? :( **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221 "2013-10-02T23:02:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/21 "2013-10-02T23:59:32Z")
I for one am quite happy that he shot at them… And happy that he missed. Because now he gets to spend a fair amount of time in jail and then spend the rest of his life as a Convicted Felon, which means he will never again legally own a firearm. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/22 "2013-10-03T00:12:09Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I’ll echo the question that has been asked: Are you a fucking moron, **dougie**? Asked and answered, I thought.😕 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/23 "2013-10-03T00:14:52Z")
Is there anyone who doesn’t despise door to door religious freaks? We are all Witness haters. But, as has been said, shooting at them is a little extreme. I prefer “release the hounds.” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/24 "2013-10-03T00:18:01Z")
We need to arm Jehovah’s Witnesses, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/25 "2013-10-03T00:20:51Z")
Or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they bark bees. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/26 "2013-10-03T00:24:33Z")
I always thought _Witness_ was one of the better regarded Harrison Ford movies. What? ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/27 "2013-10-03T00:32:03Z")
The fool brought a gun to what should have been a [sword](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4600087&postcount=31) fight! ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/28 "2013-10-03T00:33:44Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > The only thing better would have been if he had chased them off half naked with a sword. That would be masterful. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/29 "2013-10-03T00:35:37Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > The only thing better would have been if he had chased them off half naked with a sword. > [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Better: Chased them off fully naked, with his erect penis. You are new here…one long gone poster actually DID chase someone off while he was half naked and wielding a sword. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/30 "2013-10-03T00:36:34Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Well are you a fucking moron, **dougie**? Because thinking JW’s are really annoying assholes hardly equates to wanting them killed. This, what the hell?? Is your persecution fetish so ingrained that this gratifies you in some way? That’s your filthy secret, you deal with that in your own bathroom on your own time. Do we have to say we’re not happy about this out loud? ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/31 "2013-10-03T00:44:07Z")
I invite those Mother Fuckers in, and then dispense Justice! It put’s the motherfuckin lotion in the motherfuckin BASKET!! ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/32 "2013-10-03T00:44:25Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > You are new here…one long gone poster actually DID chase someone off while he was half naked and wielding a sword. See link in post 27 above. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/33 "2013-10-03T00:47:58Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > If you fire 13 shots and don’t kill anybody, you should have your license revoked. A miracle! A miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/34 "2013-10-03T00:50:34Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > 13 rounds and he didn’t hit anything? Shades of Pulp Fiction. This will only reinforce their faith. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/35 "2013-10-03T00:54:36Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Satisfied? :mad: To be really satisfied, have you tried [this](http://assets3.whitecastle.com/system/blocks/data/13/admin/menu_sndwch_dbl_bacon.jpg?1255007664)? I’m betting that if you shove it in one end it stops hunger while stuffing it up the other stops flatulence. Gun nuts? Religious zealots? Is there a mammal alive in danger of tripping over a bar set that low? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/36 "2013-10-03T01:13:12Z")
It is nice that they handled this problem like Good Christians. And I’m sure the incident will go into the “guns protected my family from evil fanatics” column. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/37 "2013-10-03T01:25:48Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > It is nice that they handled this problem like Good Christians. And I’m sure the incident will go into the “guns protected my family from evil fanatics” column. …And put the “War On Christmas” on the back page? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/38 "2013-10-03T01:30:18Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > You are new here…one long gone poster actually DID chase someone off while he was half naked and wielding a sword. This technique of arousing intense interest and leaving it unresolved reminds me of someone. In RL, you’re name isn’t Lorna Marie Spencer, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/39 "2013-10-03T02:18:22Z")
So, is this a thread where dougie comes back and plays Emily Litella, or will he double down on the stupid? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221/40 "2013-10-03T02:31:14Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > But when Baldwin learned the men were Jehovah’s Witnesses, he allegedly told them to “get the [expletive] off my property” and said “Get me my 9” as the men were getting into their car, CBS affiliate KFSM-TV reports. So he had, like, a gun-bearer? Cool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-haters-are-you-happy-now/670221.md?page=3)