# Witness this Fuckwads!! Part II **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240 "2003-06-16T16:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/41 "2003-06-17T01:31:37Z")
Last time the Mormon boys came to my door all dressed to the nines and looking so young and virile, I asked my husband if I could keep them like pets for a while. He reminded me that I got bored with the last ones after a week and stopped feeding them with predictable results. So I had to let them go ☹ \*I hope I don’t have to say that I didn’t really starve any Mormon boys to death in my basement. I promise, if I can lure some inside I’ll take SUCH good care of them. Really, I will. ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/42 "2003-06-17T01:34:32Z")
Bless you **Phlosphr** , what an inspiring story. 😃 I hope you put the fear of god, er- satan er- Grissholm into them. I have never had a JW knock upon my door. If that should ever happen I plan to inform them that they are tresspassing, and if they do not vacate my property immediately, I shall have them arrested. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/43 "2003-06-17T01:39:08Z")
I haven’t had JWs for a long time. I actually haven’t had any godknockers for a while. Although I do remember those two Mormon boys _very_ well…what _is_ it about the clean-cut, white shirt, tie and glasses look, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![NTChrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e274bd/32.png) [@NTChrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NTChrist)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/44 "2003-06-17T01:45:46Z")
BTW, for those looking for a sign to display that should keep the door-to-door religious types away, “ **No religious soliciting** ” was very effective at my old house. We lived in JW central, but never got a knock. ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/45 "2003-06-17T04:10:42Z")
A fellow I knew was a weightlifter. He was at a competition with a few buddies, staying four to a room in the cheapest motel in town. Just as he was preparing his insulin injection in the morning, he heard a knock on the door and spotted the suits. He stuck the needle into his abdomen, opened the door wide to reveal four burly men in their underwear, and said, “come on in, you’re just in time!” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/46 "2003-06-17T04:22:47Z")
I understand the JWs are required to pass out a certain number of pamphlets, hence their chronically annoying prosetylizing. Well, with one exception: There was an older gentleman who couldn’t walk well so couldn’t go door to door, and would sit at a bench at the top of the Glenmont Metro steps passing out his pamphlets that way. It was so much less annoying – because nobody had time to stop and TALK to him, and he didn’t seem to expect it – that I’d usually take one to help his count. Then I’d go to the bottom of the escalator and place it in the rapidly overflowing trash with the rest of them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Naz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@Naz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naz)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/47 "2003-06-17T04:30:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aries28 \* > \*\*I have never understood people who use that approach to convey their “message.” > > I stand by my religion and I’ll share it with anybody who is interested in hearing my take on it…but I will not force my beliefs on someone and I would NEVER invade their space or their home and behave in such a rude manner. > > \*\* I’m with you. I guess you could call me a Christian (for lack of a word with less negative connotations), and it pisses me off that people think I must be a looney because of what I believe. That said, I gotta admit that I love screwing around with the door-to-door fundies myself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/48 "2003-06-17T04:43:45Z")
I answered the Mormons with a beer in one hand, cigarette in another. That really should have tipped them off that Mormonism was not for me. But I find myself being polite to these people anyways. Oh well, I just don’t have it in me to be mean to a stranger face-to-face. Behind their backs within earshot, maybe 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/49 "2003-06-17T05:21:55Z")
Did they actually say all of that nutty stuff, or did you embellish for literary value? I ask because I have _never_ known JWs to act like that (not that I’m some expert, mind you). It just surprises me, is all. I’m not saying you’re lying or anything but sounds like you have a really nutty variety where you live. PS: A really good argument could be made that JWs are not Christians so I’m not sure why you’re calling them fundies. But that’s just me. **Well, fundamentalist Christianity and highhanded rudeness go together like peanut butter and jelly.** And so do stereotypes and the morons that vomit them repeatedly … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/50 "2003-06-17T05:27:54Z")
> [@](#): > > PS: A really good argument could be made that JWs are not Christians so I’m not sure why you’re calling them fundies. But that’s just me. Actually, no it can’t. Only a bad argument can be made, i.e. the “no true Scotsman” argument. JW’s are Christians by any reasonable definition. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/51 "2003-06-17T05:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Last time the Mormon boys came to my door all dressed to the nines and looking so young and virile, I asked my husband if I could keep them like pets for a while Oh! Can you send one to me next time? I’ll take such good care of him! I have a cute lil outfit and everything… ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/52 "2003-06-17T05:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*My friend’s dad is a professor of Classics. He invited two JWs up to his study once with the words “I’ve been waiting for you”, and after 2 hours they came down, severely questioning their faith. \*\* I love it! The other stories may be funny, but this is truly uplifting! I’d love to know what was said in that study… ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/53 "2003-06-17T10:25:32Z")
When I was a kid we used to get a lot of Jehovah’s witnesses calling. That is until my mother invited them in for a Tarot reading. Never saw any again after that. Think we made it to the ‘evil household’ list 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/54 "2003-06-17T10:28:16Z")
Forgive my naivete, but do Jehovah’s Witnesses do this worldwide to the same degree as they do it in the U.S.? I see posts in here by people from the U.K. and Canada; what about other countries? ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/55 "2003-06-17T10:57:18Z")
Man, we gotta start buying [these](http://valiante.plugnpay.com/cgi-bin/SoftCart.exe/scstore/p-154-WD.html?L+scstore+fgjd7556ff342d34+1055857039) in bulk. ---
**Author:** ![mazirian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@mazirian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mazirian)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/56 "2003-06-17T11:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > Forgive my naivete, but do Jehovah’s Witnesses do this worldwide to the same degree as they do it in the U.S.? I see posts in here by people from the U.K. and Canada; what about other countries? They (Finnish JWs) do it here in Finland, but we are a notoriously difficult bunch to convert and door-to-door missionary work isn’t held in high regard. I don’t know if they are as vigorous or off-putting as this thread seems to suggest, but I do remember one time I really blew a fuse because of them. I was taking a long shower after a really hot day, when I heard the doorbell. So I scrambled to the front door with a towel on my waist, because I thought the ringer would be my neighbor, an attractive girl, who had promised to drop by. Well, I open the door and a small hand pushes through holding a pamphlet, while a voice starts an obviously well-rehearsed and almost unintelligibly fast litany about something. I take the pamphlet from the wide-eyed little girl, when her father finishes his mini-sermon with this gem: “Don’t you think there’s _too_ much tolerance in the world already?” I stare at him speechless and after a long, long silence I just close the door, before I demonstrate the limits of my tolerance. I wonder would that have made him happy… And don’t get me started about the time I first found Chick Tracts (in Finnish even!) in my mail box, courtesy of our local Pentecostal Church… I have to add that all the Mormon missionaries (all young American men) I’ve met have been very nice and polite, even if they have already realized how barren the soil they are trying to sow is. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/57 "2003-06-17T11:24:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Leaper \* > \*\*I love it! The other stories may be funny, but this is truly uplifting! I’d love to know what was said in that study… \*\* It was many years ago, so I can’t recall all that he debunked, but I do remember that he claimed to have deconstructed the Leviticus “no soul of you shall eat blood” thing and showed that it was some kind of mistranslation referring actually only to sacrificial meats and shouldn’t apply to blood transfusions. Don’t know the details so don’t flame me if I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/58 "2003-06-17T11:34:49Z")
Thanks, **mazirian**. (Incidentally, is Tampere a large town? I have a friend from there.) ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/59 "2003-06-17T11:45:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Forgive my naivete, but do Jehovah’s Witnesses do this worldwide to the same degree as they do it in the U.S.? I see posts in here by people from the U.K. and Canada; what about other countries? \*\* There is a JW mission around the corner from where I live. Don’t see them as much now as I used to and Iwas stunned to hear a Liverpool accent from one of the last pair that called to my house. I stupidly thought all JW were all Americans. This recruiting lark must work. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240/60 "2003-06-17T11:56:18Z")
They are reknown for their annoying door knocking Down Under too 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-this-fuckwads-part-ii/182240.md?page=4)