# Witness to Terrible Accident: Need Doper Hugs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186 "2010-08-04T19:39:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/1 "2010-08-04T19:39:24Z")
I just need to write this down, I’m sad about what happened this morning. On my way to Campus this morning I came upon a motorcycle accident that had just occurred. The motorcyclist rear-ended a car while going at a high speed and sustained massive trauma. My fear when I see accidents on this road to the college is that it’s one of my students; in this case he was so messed up I couldn’t tell if he was a student, just that he was probably 17-19 years-old. An off-duty paramedic arrived and sat down on the road and held the kid’s head in his lap. To my laywoman’s eye, he was dying. No helmet, wearing shorts and sneakers . . . I parked my car across the scene and directed traffic for about 15 minutes until the EMS and cops arrived and took over. The cop who “relieved” me of my duties said he didn’t think the kid was going to make it. So I went to campus, taught my three-hour seminar, and am back home and out of “just get it done mode” and thinking about things. God, somebody’s little boy is probably gone, killed on a beautiful sunny day. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/2 "2010-08-04T19:42:30Z")
Oooh, crap. That sucks. I still remember the only time I have ever seen an accident that dire, and that was well over 30 years ago. I can still remember all the details. Sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/3 "2010-08-04T19:43:25Z")
_big hug_ That is a horrible thing. My heart goes to the family of the boy. FWIW, I understand your feelings. Many years ago one of my dearest friends was ran over by a (very) speeding car in front of my eyes, not 2 metres away from me. In the end, my poor friend didn’t make it. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/4 "2010-08-04T19:44:03Z")
That’s awful ☹ Was there any indication how it happened? Was it by a junction or did the poor chap on the motorbike just misjudge things? ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/5 "2010-08-04T19:48:11Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > That’s awful ☹ > > Was there any indication how it happened? Was it by a junction or did the poor chap on the motorbike just misjudge things? The rider was on one of those speedy “crotch rockets” and I believe he was weaving in and out of lanes at a good speed and cut in behind a car that was going slower than calculated. I’m not sure if he flew over the car or bounced off the trunk, but the car was really damaged. Thanks for the sympathies. It helps to get it off my chest. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/6 "2010-08-04T19:49:22Z")
Just because he’s a Darwin case doesn’t mean someone won’t be mourning him, y’know? ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/7 "2010-08-04T19:56:16Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Just because he’s a Darwin case doesn’t mean someone won’t be mourning him, y’know? Just so I’m clear – I’m not judging the poor kid by his (un)safety choices; the “no helmet” observation is a way to express hideous injuries without giving details. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/8 "2010-08-04T19:57:23Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > > [@Ogre](#): > > > > Just because he’s a Darwin case doesn’t mean someone won’t be mourning him, y’know? > > Just so I’m clear – I’m not judging the poor kid by his (un)safety choices; the “no helmet” observation is a way to express hideous injuries without giving details. Don’t worry. I’m attributing no judgment to you at all. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/9 "2010-08-04T20:00:15Z")
((hugs)) we saw a terrible car accident happen last weekend, and while we had our kids with us so left quickly instead of stopping to help, I know the shock and horror you must be feeling. Maybe you can find out who the kid was and offer your story to the family; it might be of some solice to meet a person who stopped to help at this terrible moment. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/10 "2010-08-04T20:01:50Z")
Jeez - that’s horrible. As a thought you may want to wander back to your University and have a chat with the Campus Counseling Center (every campus has one). Witnessing a horrible accident like this can be very hard to deal with and it may be helpful to chat with someone who can offer some help in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/11 "2010-08-04T20:06:29Z")
Echoing \*\*AiW’\*\*s excellent suggestion. Internet hugz are good, but you also need to talk to a real person about this. I’m so sorry it happened and you had to see it. {{{hug}}} Thank you for stopping and helping. Here’s hoping the kid got to hospital in time. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/12 "2010-08-04T20:07:02Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Jeez - that’s horrible. > > As a thought you may want to wander back to your University and have a chat with the Campus Counseling Center (every campus has one). Witnessing a horrible accident like this can be very hard to deal with and it may be helpful to chat with someone who can offer some help in that regard. I think I’ll be okay in a few days; my significant other is an EMT and I’ve been able to share all the horrifying injury details with her and get it off my chest. Unfortunately, she’s out of town for a few days so I have to wait on the real life hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/13 "2010-08-04T20:10:34Z")
That is terrible (and part of the terrible is how preventable it would have been). My husband witnessed a neighbour’s dog being hit and killed in the street last year; I think he was truly surprised at how much it affected him. Take it easy on yourself - that is a big shock. We have neighbours across the street who have a 3 or 4 year old that they let play on the sidewalk next to a busy road - I am afraid that I’m going to witness something awful someday, too. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/14 "2010-08-04T20:11:22Z")
Be aware that you may be susceptible to PTSD, and if you start showing symptoms, see a doctor. In the meantime, if you don’t have any furry pets, check in with a friend who does. I’m telling you, if I hadn’t had my cat, Raven, for 18 years, and now my Lil Miss Rowdy puppy, I doubt I’d have made it. There is something about those critters. They know you’re hurting, and they want to make it better. If I were there, I would hug you and rub your back and tell you funny stories until you could smile again. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/15 "2010-08-04T20:19:05Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > I think I’ll be okay in a few days; my significant other is an EMT and I’ve been able to share all the horrifying injury details with her and get it off my chest. Unfortunately, she’s out of town for a few days so I have to wait on the real life hugs. Ok - just make sure to take care of yourself and keep your eye on this - I had a good friend who was murdered a few years ago (I didn’t witness it or anything). You can feel like you’re coping well and things are OK and then just start crying for no reason. Or feeling crabby or snapish with your SO, or all sorts of things. Just keep an eye on it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/16 "2010-08-04T20:19:15Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Be aware that you may be susceptible to PTSD, and if you start showing symptoms, see a doctor. > > In the meantime, if you don’t have any furry pets, check in with a friend who does. I’m telling you, if I hadn’t had my cat, Raven, for 18 years, and now my Lil Miss Rowdy puppy, I doubt I’d have made it. There is something about those critters. They know you’re hurting, and they want to make it better. > > If I were there, I would hug you and rub your back and tell you funny stories until you could smile again. HE’S STILL ALIVE AND WILL PROBABLY MAKE IT! I just found a very short entry in the local paper’s “breaking news.” My God, what a relief. How anyone could survive those injuries is unbelievable. Thank you, all, for your kind words and responses. I do have my sweet doggies and mean cat to keep me company. Somehow knowing he’s still alive is helping me unsee some of the yucky things. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/17 "2010-08-04T20:20:30Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > HE’S STILL ALIVE AND WILL PROBABLY MAKE IT! I just found a very short entry in the local paper’s “breaking news.” My God, what a relief. How anyone could survive those injuries is unbelievable. > > Thank you, all, for your kind words and responses. I do have my sweet doggies and mean cat to keep me company. Somehow knowing he’s still alive is helping me unsee some of the yucky things. Oh this is great news! Thank goodness. Please still take care of yourself - you’ve had quite a shock (even if it had a happy ending). ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/18 "2010-08-04T20:23:03Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Be aware that you may be susceptible to PTSD, and if you start showing symptoms, see a doctor. > > In the meantime, if you don’t have any furry pets, check in with a friend who does. I’m telling you, if I hadn’t had my cat, Raven, for 18 years, and now my Lil Miss Rowdy puppy, I doubt I’d have made it. There is something about those critters. They know you’re hurting, and they want to make it better. > > If I were there, I would hug you and rub your back and tell you funny stories until you could smile again. Wish you were closer, I’d take you up on both rubs and funnies. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/19 "2010-08-04T20:36:56Z")
May I ask, where do you live that there are no helmet laws? I’m very happy to hear he’ll be okay, for him and for you! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186/20 "2010-08-04T20:44:21Z")
I know it’s tough to see things like that. Certain images, once seen–even briefly–can never be forgotten. For what’s it worth, you did everything you reasonably could have done in the situation. Good to hear the kid is going to make it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness-to-terrible-accident-need-doper-hugs/549186.md?page=2)