# "Witness" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 26, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801 "2000-08-26T04:03:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![11yo\_doofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/cc9497/32.png) [@11yo\_doofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11yo_doofus)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/61 "2000-09-20T21:11:00Z")
imature mispelled comment ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/62 "2000-09-21T01:36:42Z")
Quotation of Trout Mask Replica from a month ago: > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > **Mention of how science believes that man evolved from apes.** > > Brief discussion of why this is a misconception. Link to relevant FAQ at talk.origins website. Nitpicking mention of the fact that great ape taxonomy changed in the last few years. Description of family _Hominidae_. Declaration that _Homninidae_ now includes only humans, chimps, bonobos, and gorillas among its non-extinct members. Corollary that humans are great apes. Implication that human ancestors were also great apes. Conclusion that man did, indeed, evolve from apes. Use of impressive-sounding big words for ambivulent bivationary falvebarms. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/63 "2000-09-21T03:08:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Use of impressive-sounding big words for ambivulent bivationary falvebarms. \*\* Statement of analysis of impressive sounding big words. > [@](#): > > Oxford English Dictionary listing for: > > Ambivulent > Bivationary > Falvebarms Brief contrast between the implications of each meaning, and conclusion that while a falvebarm might be bivationary, or ambivulent, it obviously cannot be both. Abbrev Sig line omitted in haste to be first to point out grammatical error. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/64 "2000-09-21T04:47:12Z")
Long rambling story in the style of the elderly. Posters’ following of wicca mentioned. Raises question of christan theology that has no good answer if kept within the restraints of christian dogma. Sig line quoting They Might Be Giants song Particleman. Second sig espousing Threadkilling prowess. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/65 "2000-09-21T05:35:24Z")
Whiny protest that thread has been hijacked. Attempt to wrest it back to main point, mainly, mine. Restatement of pretty much everything in OP. Slight indication that poster not only has definite religious views, but has a problem with certain translations of the Bible. Thanks for Trisk. submitting thread to Threadspotting. Indication that this shows that God will have His way. Indication that the unresponsiveness of SDMB posters shows that some people manage to thwart God. Introduction of obscure point of theology that has been debated for millenia and is still not settled even among conservative Christians. Dogmatic statement on subject. Attempt to shut down other posters. Statement that thread is now shut down on OP’s authority. Attempt to appear nice at last minute. ---
**Author:** ![PStamler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@PStamler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PStamler)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/66 "2000-09-21T05:39:00Z")
Virus warning. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/67 "2000-09-21T19:42:09Z")
Alert the PStamler’s virus warning is a hoax, like the Good Times Virus. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/68 "2000-09-21T20:26:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Alert the PStamler’s virus warning is a hoax, like the Good Times Virus. \*\* cant ewe spell write? that should of bin > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Alert TAHT PStamler’s virus warning is a hoax, like the Good Times Virus. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![jmullaney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jmullaney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmullaney)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/69 "2000-09-21T20:52:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Keeve \* > **I can count the angels dancing!** Angry off topic rant relating to unrealistic and unimplied implications to mainstream christian theology if angels did in fact dance. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/70 "2000-09-23T05:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Drain Bead \* > \*\*Mention of how science believes that man evolved from apes. > > Insinuation that evolution is just a theory. > \*\* Demand for explanation of protein homology. -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Palm\_Cove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Palm\_Cove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palm_Cove)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/71 "2000-09-23T05:27:45Z")
Irrelevent, inane comment from newbie who has lurked here long enough to understand. Obvious nomination of this thread to Threadspotting" Stupid abusive remark that leads to thread being moved to “Pit” ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/72 "2000-12-11T17:07:18Z")
Very late arrival by self-appointed exceptionally brilliant clarifying person. Attempt at self-deprecating humor. Long sentences developing extremely abstract categories. At least one 76-word sentence fragment lacking an objective clause. Reiteration of what self-appointed clarifying person believes to be the argumentative positions taken by a “group a” and a “group b” of posters squaring off with each other in this thread. Explanation of why both groups are wrong because the hitherto-unrecognized but undeniable-once-explained TRUTH of the matter is: \ Link to self-appointed brilliant clarifying person’s [Home Page of Other Brilliantly Written Issue-Clarifying Opinions](http://www.homepage.com/index.html) Final attempt at cute humor. Annoying sig. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/73 "2000-12-11T17:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > \*\*Very late arrival by self-appointed exceptionally brilliant clarifying person. \*\* Abbreviated expression of humorous response, indicating loss of ability to stand upright and (possibly) inflicting fear and dismay in feline companion. Request to appropriate phrase as signature line. * * * Current singature, with which poster is obviously dissatisfied. ---
**Author:** ![TKD2DAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/74 "2000-12-11T18:46:32Z")
sighs deeply. quickly scans through replies and see the same old thing. wonder how the election is going. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/75 "2000-12-11T19:15:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TKD2DAN \* > **wonder how the election is going.** [hijack] Hijack. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/76 "2000-12-11T22:51:30Z")
Explanation of why this post should be in MISIPMS Reply that no one can understand and is only vaguely on topic. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2000, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/77 "2000-12-12T10:50:19Z")
Mildly amusing comment contributing nothing of value to discussion. sig quote ---
**Author:** ![Mars\_Horizon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mars_horizon/32/2804_2.png) [@Mars\_Horizon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mars_Horizon)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2000, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/78 "2000-12-12T14:18:29Z")
Inquiry as to why thread was revived after lying dormant for nearly three months. Speculation. ---
**Author:** ![TKD2DAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/79 "2000-12-12T15:45:14Z")
[hijack] Hijack. [/hijack] If so, I apologize. I still wonder though. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/80 "2000-12-12T15:58:01Z")
Wry observation on the inevitability of archetypal behavior in an archetype thread. Abbrev Pithy quote attributed to author unknown to any forum reader. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801.md?page=5)