# "Witness" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 26, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801 "2000-08-26T04:03:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/141 "2002-11-08T02:26:44Z")
Compares thread to evil zombie-like creature. Notes that such creatures are often found on television. Drifts into long aside regarding BtVS. Recalls self. Requests services of **Threadkiller**. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Green\_Feather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@The\_Green\_Feather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Green_Feather)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/142 "2002-11-09T15:08:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Paradx690 \* > \*\* > Theory: God exists. > > Proof: Beer, chocolate chip cookies, and breat implants demonstrate omnipotence, onmiscince, and omibenevolence > > \*\* Agreement in theory. Vociferous disagreement re: breast implants. Implication of false deity by use of artificial enhancements. :unhappy smilie: Contimplation of an appropriate sig. Failed. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/143 "2002-11-09T15:30:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _Bible A:B_Quote from scripture > [@](#): > > _Bible C:D_Quote from scripture > [@](#): > > _Bible E:F_Quote from scripture Explanation that these quotations prove my position and that in order to attain salvation one must believe these things. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/144 "2002-11-09T15:34:45Z")
Comment on people who resurrect long-moribund threads. Witty and ironic pun about applicability of thread resurrection to demonstration of Jesus’s resurrection. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/145 "2002-11-09T15:35:51Z")
Counter post citing > [@](#): > > _Bible G:H_ Quote from scripture countering first quoted passage above > [@](#): > > _Bible I:J_ Quote from scripture immediately following second quoted passage above > [@](#): > > _Bible K:L_ Quote from scripture which had nothing to do with the three passages quote above and asking what about these passages. Reference to poster’s perception of basis of religion. Possibly humourous remark to indicate no offense intended. Smiley. Apology for earlier typo. CJ Well, at least I don’t think anyone will accuse me of being a sock.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/146 "2002-11-09T15:46:15Z")
Link to my fan fiction containing much-belabored and allegedly relevant point as means of drawing attention to myself. Analysis of allegedly relevant _Star Trek_ episode, meant to justify fan fiction link. Snide non-sequitor. Pre-emptive defensive statement regarding quality of fan fiction. General insult toned down to barely meet GD standard. Announcement of the imminent commencement of more uplifting, important and useful activities than posting on SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/147 "2002-11-09T18:44:56Z")
Newbie akins thread to 1,287 low flying B-52`s flying six feet four inches off the ground directly over head. Wonders how a member can have THOUSANDS of posts. Decides the question is moot. Wonders if “akins” is a word and should be replaced. Realizes he is WAY off topic. Hopes other members don`t pick on him. Decides changing babies` diaper is more important. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/148 "2002-11-09T18:49:00Z")
Places “grammar police” cap firmly on head. Notes that **whuckfistle** meant “likens” Criticizes poster’s inadequate vocabulary. Walks away feeling smug and self-satisfied. Ignores attitude of other posters that he is being an unmitigated jerk. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/149 "2002-11-09T19:04:37Z")
Weary sigh. Expression of futility of trying to express self. Avowal of no longer responding. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/150 "2002-11-09T19:23:48Z")
Makes comment designed to get “mean members” to feel sorry for and stop picking on him. Wonders how the tab button can make reply disappear. Would like to start a thread for “nice” comments only. Suddenly realizes that the hangover has resurfaced. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/151 "2002-11-09T19:26:12Z")
Responds. Responds. Exclamatory apology for double-posting. Exclamatory apology for double-posting. Forehead-smacking smiley, apologizes again. Avowal to stop responding. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/152 "2002-11-09T19:27:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*Comment on people who resurrect long-moribund threads. > > Witty and ironic pun about applicability of thread resurrection to demonstration of Jesus’s resurrection. \*\* Pointed reminder that same joke has already been made _twice_ previously on the same page. Repetition offered as proof that no one reads poster’s posts. Pathetic snivelling follows. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/153 "2002-11-09T21:38:05Z")
Complaint that meta-threads are overdone. Reply describing a generic post in which poster complains about those who complain about meta-threads. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/154 "2002-11-10T05:56:37Z")
Impassioned plea to all posters to make direct confession in the thread of their unreserved belief in the exact theology of the poster. Overwhelmingly simplistic pseudo logic used in the place of argument. Immediate restatement of same impassioned plea. Vitriolic prediction of suffering and woe for all who do not immediately concur with poster’s views. Ardent demand for recognition of the obvious and undeniable truth of posters opinions. Attribution to Deity of each and all of posters opinions. Long list of chapter and verse references, interspersed with political opinions claimed to be supported by Deity. Platitude reference to love of mankind included as an afterthought. Sig line with url to poster’s BBS. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801/155 "2002-11-10T11:19:27Z")
Admonition to certain posters with respect to OP template. Reminder that form is nonpredicate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witness/30801.md?page=7)