# Witnessed two soldiers kissing (same gender) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 9, 2007, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202 "2007-03-09T02:09:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/1 "2007-03-09T02:09:48Z")
I don’t want to bias this by saying what gender the two soldiers were. I don’t want to bias this by saying what my reaction was. I will give you this much information. I was talking to PFC A and looked down for a minute at the paperwork PFC A presented to me. PFC B came in and had not seen PFC A for awhile. I hear lips smacking, look up and see heads withdrawing from the kiss. So, what do you think I should have done? What do you think I did? What do you think about this? Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/2 "2007-03-09T02:12:15Z")
Mind your own business. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/3 "2007-03-09T02:15:34Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] Mind your own business. [/QUOTE] I wish I could. I am a direct supervisor for both and should have included that in the OP. Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/4 "2007-03-09T02:17:06Z")
Don’t ask don’t tell. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/5 "2007-03-09T02:18:04Z")
Don’t ask. Don’t tell. You don’t have proof. Mind your own business. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/6 "2007-03-09T02:25:14Z")
Were they on duty? If so, did this encounter compromise their abilities to perform their assigned tasks? If the answer to either of these is no, it seems to me that there is nothing you need to do about an activity that does not affect their capacity to serve, and could get them discharged if you do report it. ---
**Author:** ![Spezza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/7 "2007-03-09T02:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=JustAnotherGeek] Don’t ask. Don’t tell. You don’t have proof. Mind your own business. [/QUOTE] Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/8 "2007-03-09T02:31:44Z")
[QUOTE=JustAnotherGeek] Don’t ask. Don’t tell. You don’t have proof. Mind your own business. [/QUOTE] I will not ask about sexual orientation. I really don’t care. I suppose you are saying I should not report this incident to my higher-ups. I am not sure what you are saying I don’t have proof of. Are you doubting the kiss, the orientation of the Soldiers involved, or documentation of the incident? Again, this is my business. I am responsible for the conduct of the soldiers within my platoon. Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/9 "2007-03-09T02:33:46Z")
Do whatever you’d do if they were of opposite sexes. If it’s inappropriate for PFCs to kiss when in front of their supervisor, then do as you would for anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/10 "2007-03-09T02:36:47Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Were they on duty? If so, did this encounter compromise their abilities to perform their assigned tasks? If the answer to either of these is no, it seems to me that there is nothing you need to do about an activity that does not affect their capacity to serve, and could get them discharged if you do report it. [/QUOTE] Yes, both were on duty. No, it does not change the ability to preform assigned tasks. It could efffect me personally if I knew that this kind of thing happened and I did not document it and report it to my leaders. I am required to report statements, acts, or attempted marriages involving Service Members of the same gender. Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/11 "2007-03-09T02:38:19Z")
I’m genuinely curious – what would usually happen if that had been a man soldier and a woman soldier kissing? Were you on the clock? I generally disapprove of kissing in the workplace between anyone. I’m also a little confused by why two people who might get discharged if they are reported (going by what **Captain Carrot** posted) would kiss in front of you. It’s not as if they didn’t know you were there, if A was doing paperwork with you. It seems like it could be 1: they want to be reported, 2: they don’t think you are going to do anything about it, or 3: they thought it would be funny to mess with you. Ha, or 4: they are siblings, and you thought it would be funny to mess with us. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/12 "2007-03-09T02:38:31Z")
Dude, you did not actually see them kiss. By your own statement. Perhaps you were mistaken about the whole thing. Perhaps you should make it clear that if you ever did actually see them kissing, you would be obligated to report it. But since you did not actually see it this time, you won’t report it. Then perhaps you should have a beer and hope they get the clue. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/13 "2007-03-09T02:45:51Z")
Y’know, it is possible that some people in some circumstances will trade a kiss with someone they aren’t attracted to with an early discharge from a military organization. Of course, this only works if you can arrange it so that you can be seen. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/14 "2007-03-09T02:47:48Z")
1. You didn’t see actually see the kiss, as in the actual contact of lips to lips. You can make kissing motions and sounds to someone without touching them. 2. Kissing someone of the same sex doesn’t mean you’re gay. This, of course, depends on the nature of the kiss in question, but since you lack proof a kiss took place, it’s pretty moot. IMO, at best you could bust them for improper conduct of some sort, with the appropriate punishment being a stern look and disapproving comment. Anything else is an overreaction. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/15 "2007-03-09T02:49:24Z")
BTW, the other side of “don’t ask” is “don’t tell”. And that doesn’t mean that Sgt. Schwartz isn’t supposed to tell, it means the gay soldier isn’t supposed to tell, either verbally or by kissing in public. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/16 "2007-03-09T02:50:30Z")
This is probably more common in females but not unheard of for males - depending on how you were raised/on your cultural background, greeting with a kiss on the cheek isn’t completely unusual for friends. You heard lips but didn’t see if they met or if cheeks were kissed. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/17 "2007-03-09T02:55:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sgt Schwartz] Yes, both were on duty. No, it does not change the ability to preform assigned tasks. It could efffect me personally if I knew that this kind of thing happened and I did not document it and report it to my leaders. I am required to report statements, acts, or attempted marriages involving Service Members of the same gender. Sgt Schwartz [/QUOTE] Right. You go tell someone you ‘heard’ a kiss and be prepared for laughter. Really, this is silliness. Go on about your business and don’t mention this or you’ll look like a loon. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/18 "2007-03-09T02:55:47Z")
[QUOTE=JustAnotherGeek] Don’t ask. Don’t tell. You don’t have proof. Mind your own business. [/QUOTE] I’m not in the military, and if the OPs particular code of conduct would require you to report something that was (a) brief, (b) potentially circumstantial (c) devoid of background info or context, (d) was none of my personal business, and (e) a 1-time incident to my knowledge, then I suppose it’s all well and good that I’m not, because what **Geek** said is what I would do. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/19 "2007-03-09T02:56:04Z")
Are you sure they weren’t doing the french kiss the air near the cheeks thing? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202/20 "2007-03-09T02:57:32Z")
C’mon. This is the Army, not the French Riviera. Like I said, the first thing I’d suspect with such a blatant display is someone going fishing for an early out. If I were Sgt. Schwartz, I’d put the kibosh on that really fast. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witnessed-two-soldiers-kissing-same-gender/395202.md?page=2)