# Witty Responses To Mother-in-Law **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156 "2011-12-23T04:06:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/61 "2011-12-27T15:08:09Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > Well, good for you, I suppose, with everyone else actually happy for the two of you and all. > > I, personally, was hoping for more drama to read. Maybe you can try stirring something up next time you see her? > (Or not… 🙂 ) Ohhh, yes - make sure to sigh heavily when walking w/ her past a wedding dress store and say, “Sometimes I wonder…”. The pot practically stirs itself. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/62 "2011-12-27T19:28:28Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > \>snip!\< > > Your choices are limited: > (1) Get upset and have a nasty argument each time this happens. > **(2) Kill her now and get it over with.** > (3) Find a way to take your emotions out of the situation, and just let the aggravation go > My daughter is at the doctor’s office with a killer migraine, because of this very situation (hers is a different occasion, but it’s the same damned thing). > She’d probably vote for Number 2 on the list above. As I have repeatedly suggested to my cube mate who has similar familial issues, just two words: _ **hog farm** _. Hogs eat EVERYTHING. Easy disposal. No muss, no fuss. Of course there’s the whole killing thing, but the hogs can only do so much. just sayin’… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/63 "2011-12-28T00:26:34Z")
Except the shoes. Or, at least that’s how they showed it on _Criminal Minds_. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/64 "2011-12-28T02:41:17Z")
This one is so dirty I’m going to spoiler it. Look lady, he came out of your vagina but he comes in mine now. You should point to the appropriate spot when you say it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/65 "2011-12-28T15:10:57Z")
Glad Christmas went OK. Otherwise I’d agree that your husband, as her offspring, needs to grasp that nettle. If it were me, I’d sit down to have a one-on-one, heart-to-heart meeting with my mom in which I looked her in the eye and said, “Mom, we know you don’t approve of what we did. We know. _We know_. We get it, we really do. You have made that absolutely clear. But what’s done is done, and we don’t want to talk about it again. Ever. Thank you for your understanding.” Repeat as necessary. If she still kept raising it, the next step is to say, “Mom, we’ve discussed this. From now on, every time you bring this up, we will leave wherever we are with you. It won’t matter where. You bring it up, we’re gone.” Then stick to your guns and do just as you said. You will have given her every chance to change her ways. She’ll only have herself to blame. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/66 "2011-12-28T16:10:34Z")
**Tracyfish** - Since she’s a hoarder, you could say you’re waiting for her to clean up her house so you can have a renewal of vows in the living room. StG ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/67 "2011-12-28T18:53:01Z")
Slightly O.T. but why do so many people have it written in stone that they must spend xmas with their extended families, when it seems to make everyone involved unhappy to a greater or lesser degree ? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/68 "2011-12-28T20:31:42Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > This one is so dirty I’m going to spoiler it. > > Look lady, he came out of your vagina but he comes in mine now. > > You should point to the appropriate spot when you say it. Oh, my. ---
**Author:** ![Tracyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@Tracyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracyfish)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/69 "2011-12-28T23:09:17Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Slightly O.T. but why do so many people have it written in stone that they must spend xmas with their extended families, when it seems to make everyone involved unhappy to a greater or lesser degree ? One of my friends gave a perfect example of this earlier today. She said her extended family on one side “forgot” to invite her and her parents to their Christmas plans, so my friend and her parents invited themselves. She also said that the extended family seemed unhappy that they were there. In response to whether there were at least a couple of relatives there that she wanted to see, she said no, except for maybe one, she would’ve been fine with not seeing them. To each their own. Despite what might have come across in this thread, I get along just fine with my in-laws normally. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/70 "2011-12-29T00:17:11Z")
> [@Tracyfish](#): > > Just wanted to give an update. There was no need for me to give any witty responses or funny jokes. It ended up being funnier that no one seemed to care that we didn’t have a wedding. **LOUNE** and I got to his relative’s house before his parents. First thing his mom said to the people sitting on the couch with me after she arrived was, “This is Trevor’s wife, he got married” emphasizing the wife part. They said, “We know, we met her,” and I said, “Yes, we’ve been over that.” Variations of this played out as other people arrived, with his mom always emphasizing the “wife” part when introducing me, until finally, his mom just flat out said, “They ran away.” I said, “Yes, we eloped. We got married at the county clerk’s office.” The person I was being introduced to at the moment gave congratulations, and that was that. I’m sure all of your husband’s relatives are\* quite\* familiar with your MIL’s little foibles. Sounds like they were more interested in a friendly holiday gathering than a Giant Drama… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/71 "2011-12-29T03:20:21Z")
> [@Tracyfish](#): > > …so my friend and her parents invited themselves… the extended family seemed unhappy that they were there… Uh, these two sentences are more closely intertwined than I think your friend may realize. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/72 "2011-12-29T15:07:58Z")
> [@Tracyfish](#): > > “This is Trevor’s wife, he got married” At least she didn’t introduce you as Trevor’s first wife. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/73 "2011-12-29T15:33:26Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > At least she didn’t introduce you as Trevor’s first wife. “Starter wife” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/74 "2011-12-29T17:34:50Z")
An old friend of mine refers to his wife, out of her hearing, as “the incumbent.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/75 "2011-12-29T19:06:19Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Uh, these two sentences are more closely intertwined than I think your friend may realize. No kidding - no invitation, show up anyway, people aren’t thrilled. I wonder if there’s a connection? ---
**Author:** ![Tracyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@Tracyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracyfish)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/76 "2011-12-29T19:12:42Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > No kidding - no invitation, show up anyway, people aren’t thrilled. I wonder if there’s a connection? Seemed obvious to me, too. If the relatives don’t want her and her parents there, and she doesn’t want to be there, what’s the point of going? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156/77 "2011-12-29T22:26:37Z")
Some people aren’t happy unless _everyone’s_ unhappy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-responses-to-mother-in-law/607156.md?page=3)