# Witty Things to Say While the Plane is Going Down **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621 "2003-08-21T07:16:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![HeartOfGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7ab992/32.png) [@HeartOfGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeartOfGold)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/61 "2003-08-22T04:35:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blonde \* > \*\*Bullwinkle, this thread is hysterical! > > Eh, all I can come up with is a song I’d be singing by Nirvana just to liven up the crowd: > > Where do bad folks go when they die? > They don’t go to heaven where the angels fly > They go down to the lake of fire and fry > Won’t see them again till the fourth of July… > > \*\* eh, that would be the Meat Puppets ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/62 "2003-08-22T05:12:32Z")
Does **anyone** know how this movie ends? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/63 "2003-08-22T05:45:47Z")
It’s the Rapture! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/64 "2003-08-22T06:02:52Z")
I _hate_ it when this happens! ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/65 "2003-08-22T07:45:47Z")
Turn to the person next to you and say calmly, “You know statistically speaking, it’s still safer than driving.” or “Well I’ll be damned, I can see the future in my dreams.” ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/66 "2003-08-22T10:46:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sanja \* > \*\*people – the thread asks for WITTY things … \*\* Slightly harsh, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/67 "2003-08-22T12:28:16Z")
“I _knew_ I was going to regret sleeping with bin Laden’s sister!” ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/68 "2003-08-22T12:41:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sanja \* > \*\*people – the thread asks for WITTY things … \*\* THAT`S not very witty… ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/69 "2003-08-22T13:15:24Z")
“You know, I was going to mention the gremlin on the side of the plane, but then I thought, ‘He’s probably just flying coach.’” “I guess I should have expected this when I realized I was flying on ‘Flaming Death to the Infidels Airlines’. My bad.” “Everybody remain calm… I’ve seen _Titanic_ twenty-seven times, so I know what to do. Now, to the lifeboats!” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/70 "2003-08-22T13:37:52Z")
I bet we’re going to be on the radio… and the console and the windshield and the altimeter and… ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/71 "2003-08-22T13:41:33Z")
“You know, I think it was Voltaire that said “…the safest course is to do nothing against one’s conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death.”” “Can I have the rest of your lasagne?” “FLAP YOUR ARMS!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…FLAP!” “HAHAHA…Try to collect my back taxes now, IRS!” “I…LIKED…GIGLI!!” ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/72 "2003-08-22T14:39:17Z")
“What if we all jump just before this thing piles into the ground, I bet that would work.” ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/73 "2003-08-22T14:49:38Z")
Wheeeee!!! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/74 "2003-08-22T15:09:57Z")
“I probably shouldn’t have boarded the plane after seeing the pilot laying on the floor in the bar…” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/75 "2003-08-22T15:44:01Z")
“I want a simple funeral, and for Eve to organize a tour of the boneyard I end up in.” “Damn!!! I expected to die in a flaming aircraft wreck. But, it was supposed to be on the maiden flight or my homemade zeppelin!” “Pascal’s wager! Place yer bets! Place yer bets!” “Don’t worry. In a minute, Donnie Darko will wake up in his bedroom and none of this will ever have happened.” “Dying isn’t so bad. I’m worried more about the sanity of whoever finds my porn.” “Lesseeee…what to do first? Haunt the women’s locker room or get that million from Randi?” Or I could just start singing the obvious… “You gotta look on the bright side of death…” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/76 "2003-08-22T17:19:43Z")
_ **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA —** _ Hey, look, Wrigley field. … Go Cubbies! … _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"** _ ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/77 "2003-08-22T17:57:23Z")
Hey, all I have to do is get on the cell phone and call someone and say “Let’s Roll”, and I’ll be a HERO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d26b3c/32.png) [@Silly\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/78 "2003-08-22T18:37:54Z")
“Crap. Alannis Morrisette was wrong. Irony isn’t exactly what I’m feeling right now.” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/79 "2003-08-22T18:43:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sanja \* > \*\*people – the thread asks for WITTY things … \*\* Damn! I wanted witty things and I got shitty wings. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/80 "2003-08-22T18:44:25Z")
**sanja** I think these have been witty. I don’t see you contributing any comic brilliance to this thread. Okay, you people have come up with some good ones. Hope mine are nearly as good. To the gorgeous babe sitting next to me “Hey, do you _crash_ here often” ? “This is **still** better than Amtrak !!” “Well…so far so good huh ?” Giving my age away here… “You won’t believe how much I want to see Allen Funt make his appearance right about now.” * * * Gee, gallows humor is fun isn’t it ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621.md?page=5)