# Witty Things to Say While the Plane is Going Down **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621 "2003-08-21T07:16:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/81 "2003-08-22T18:46:14Z")
“I cheated on the contest Jerry - I CHEATED!” ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/82 "2003-08-22T19:14:57Z")
[in a Scotty voice] I dinna know if I ken hold 'er together much longer, captain! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/83 "2003-08-22T19:16:05Z")
I have a cunning plan, m’lord! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/84 "2003-08-22T19:17:29Z")
_whips out flip phone to open it, begins in best Shatner voice_ “Scotty… we need power in three… minutes… or we’ll all DIE! Scotty… do you… read me?” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/85 "2003-08-22T19:58:14Z")
“Damn you Sir Isaac Newton! Damn you straight to hell!” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/86 "2003-08-22T20:17:28Z")
I’m squishing the pilot with my fingers, I’m squishing him, I’m squishing him, I’m squishing the stewardess with my fingers, I’m squishing her, I’m squishing her… ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/87 "2003-08-22T21:42:28Z")
“well at least the _plane_ will go down on me” Preferably loudly, and while staring pointedly at the person in the next seat - helps if it’s your SO - or not. “Some people will do anything to avoid the in-flight meals” ---
**Author:** ![Oat1957](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Oat1957](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oat1957)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/88 "2003-08-22T21:42:43Z")
Singing… “I ain’t got no-bodyyyyyy” ---
**Author:** ![BlueMit11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@BlueMit11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMit11)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/89 "2003-08-22T21:56:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > \*\* > > “Pascal’s wager! Place yer bets! Place yer bets!” > > “Don’t worry. In a minute, Donnie Darko will wake up in his bedroom and none of this will ever have happened.” > > \*\* Funniest two yet (IMHO). ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/90 "2003-08-22T22:28:23Z")
I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/91 "2003-08-22T23:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*It’s the Rapture! \*\* :::looking at Andy Licious:::: [Squidward] Great, even in death I attract the loonies. [/squidward] ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/92 "2003-08-22T23:21:46Z")
Bob, here’s that ten bucks I owe ya. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/93 "2003-08-22T23:24:12Z")
[Johnny Cash] I fell in to a burning ring of fire. Went down, down, down, and the flames went higher. [/Johnny Cash] ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/94 "2003-08-23T00:21:48Z")
- So Stewardess since we only have moments to live, can I go ahead and have those nifty First class noise reduction head phones? - Pardon me Stewardess but mind if I smoke? ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/95 "2003-08-23T02:05:41Z")
That Donnie Darko thing is still cracking my ass up. ---
**Author:** ![Kempis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kempis/32/19248_2.png) [@Kempis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kempis)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/96 "2003-08-23T02:43:24Z")
I’d want to climb on top of the plane and yell “Yee haa! Yeee Haaa!” while swinging a cowboy hat in wide circles over my head. But that’s just me. -k ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/97 "2003-08-23T05:20:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*:::looking at Andy Licious:::: > > [Squidward] > > Great, even in death I attract the loonies. > > [/squidward] \*\* Well, I wouldn’t want you to feel … _Left Behind!_ ---
**Author:** ![Bullwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Bullwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/98 "2003-08-23T06:38:08Z")
“Hey, when we get to Heaven I got dibs on that chick in seat 3A.” “Attention, everyone! The Co-Pilot says he can fix the engine but he needs a box cutter or a nail file.” ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/99 "2003-08-23T07:04:40Z")
[into airphone] WAAZZZZZZZZAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621/100 "2003-08-23T13:14:12Z")
_\_ “Finally! I knew the day would come when premature ejaculation was an asset instead of a humiliating emcumbrance!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/witty-things-to-say-while-the-plane-is-going-down/196621.md?page=6)