# Wizard of Oz - the Glinda Conspiracy Theory **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595 "2007-11-07T22:44:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/21 "2007-11-08T21:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=Bytegeist] Unless maybe Oz is _real_, and Dorothy is an insane inhabitant of this world who sometimes dreams of an imaginary land called _Kansas_. [/QUOTE] For some reason, imagining Oz as part of Lovecraft’s [Dreamlands](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamlands) amuses me greatly. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/22 "2007-11-08T23:30:04Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] Wow, I actually [found it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298436). However, Pepper’s theory predates mine by about 4 years, so s/he gets proper credit. Curses! Foiled again! [/QUOTE] My apologies (particularly to JohnT and Pepper) for any redundancies. Apparently no force can halt an idea whose time has come. Forgive me for mixing continuities, but the discussion about Dorothy waking up from a dream of Oz, (or into a dream of Kansas) reminds me of the Buffy episode ([Normal Again - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_Again)) in which she wakes, briefly, from a schizophrenic delusion, only to voluntarily return to her madness. Alternatively, she is poked by some demon that gives her an illusory wish fulfillment- that is, she’s only mad, and not the Slayer. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/23 "2007-11-08T23:49:26Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Go read the other books in the Oz series, Baum wrote more than a dozen of em. [/QUOTE] I’m the proud owner of nearly a complete set, but, as mentioned, I was specifically talking about the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/24 "2007-11-08T23:51:17Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Even knowing that the shoes were magic, there’d be no reason for her to memorize the relatively obscure fact that they possessed the ability to transport a person out of Oz permanently. Why would any Ozite ever use such a power? [/QUOTE] This point always bugged me. Just why did the Wicked Witch of the West _want_ those shoes so badly anyway? Granted, the shoes were capable of teleporting Dorothy back to Kansas (it was NOT all a dream, dammit!), and that might have been pretty handy being able to instantly zip somewhere instantaneously. But she already had a flying broomstick! Where was she planning on going that the broom couldn’t get her there, but the slippers could? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/25 "2007-11-08T23:58:44Z")
You’re assuming that the teleportation is the _only_ power the slippers have. Plus, it’s possible that even Glinda doesn’t know the full extent of the slippers’ power. “Keep tight inside of them, they must be very powerful or she wouldn’t want them so badly.” ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/26 "2007-11-09T01:13:36Z")
Hmm, parallels to the Lord of the Rings suggest themselves… ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/27 "2007-11-09T03:09:06Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] Hmm, parallels to the Lord of the Rings suggest themselves… [/QUOTE] Wraiths on wings/flying monkeys, my Precious/ my pretty? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/28 "2007-11-09T04:25:04Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] This point always bugged me. Just why did the Wicked Witch of the West _want_ those shoes so badly anyway? [/QUOTE] You don’t have siblings, do you? Alternate theory- Because they were really her slippers all along. WWE borrowed them and never returned them. That bitch! Alternate Theory #2- Because they represent the love that Frexpar, the father of Fabela(AKA Elphaba AKA WWW) and Nessarose (AKA Rose AKA WWE) withheld from Fabela all those years while heavily doting on Nessarose and Elphaba has been jealous all this time. Alternate Theory #3 Because WWW knows that some wicked ass joints are hidden in the heals. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/29 "2007-11-09T15:43:34Z")
They’re The Red Shoes! Everybody wants The Red Shoes! Even if the end result is losing your feet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/30 "2007-11-09T15:51:18Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] You’re assuming that the teleportation is the _only_ power the slippers have. Plus, it’s possible that even Glinda doesn’t know the full extent of the slippers’ power. “Keep tight inside of them, they must be very powerful or she wouldn’t want them so badly.” [/QUOTE] Damned right. If Dorothy would have started kicking munchkins they would have vaporized into a fine, lollipop scented mist on the spot. Hell, the damage she did to the yellow brick road just by skipping took 3 years and a bond referendum to repair. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/31 "2007-11-09T16:17:20Z")
W.C. Fields was first offered the role of the Wizard, but he turned it down. I often wonder how the movie would have turned out if he had accepted it. How would he have delivered this script in his drunken, slurry, self-aggrandizing drawl: _Why, anybody can have a brain. That’s a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth, or slinks through slimy seas has a brain! Back where I come from we have universities - seats of great learning - where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts, and with no more brains than you have. But - they have one thing you haven’t got - a diploma! Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universita Committeeatum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D._ But anyway, I’m thinking they used the same script written for W.C. Fields. He of course would have nailed Glenda. Then never call or write her afterward, which would have angered her, so she sent Dorothy and her stooges to Oz to pester him. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/32 "2007-11-09T16:25:11Z")
I’ve always that the ‘good’ witch manipulated Dottie into creating a huge power vaccume in OZ that Glinda would just happen to fill. “Oh, you’ve always had the ability to go home.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “You wouldn’t have believed me.” “WTF are you talking about bee-yatch! My house flies, with me in it from sepia Kansas to technicolor OZ, falls on a witch, I’m surrounded by freaking munchins, you fly in on a pink bubble and that green bitch just dissappeared in cloud of smoke, after threating to kill me and my dog, and you didn’t think I would BELIEVE I could go back home by clicking my heels?!?! SICK HER TOTO! SICK BALLS!” ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/33 "2007-11-09T17:21:01Z")
She’d just pink-bubble the poor dog and have him dropped from 30,000 feet… if he survives the ascent, that is. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/34 "2007-11-09T18:08:34Z")
[QUOTE=Bytegeist] Of course, _in the movie_, the whole Oz trip is just a dream. I don’t think that’s true of the book. This means that Glinda is really only a figment of Dorothy’s imagination. She and all her possible schemes go _poof_ when the girl awakes. [/QUOTE] So that means the bad old lady is _still_ going to be after Toto? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/35 "2007-11-09T18:49:05Z")
Remember though, in reference to Glinda the Good, that “Baum did not record her other title, Glinda the Ambiguous.” Posted just because I want to see if anyone catches the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/36 "2007-11-09T18:58:32Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] “WTF are you talking about bee-yatch! My house flies, with me in it from sepia Kansas to technicolor OZ, falls on a witch, I’m surrounded by freaking munchins, you fly in on a pink bubble and that green bitch just dissappeared in cloud of smoke, after threating to kill me and my dog, and you didn’t think I would BELIEVE I could go back home by clicking my heels?!?! SICK HER TOTO! SICK BALLS!” [/QUOTE] Wait! Glinda has ‘balls’?? She’s a MAN??? Glinda the Good Witch is really just a drag queen?? OMG that’s just…well, actually it’s totally believable. And it makes me chuckle. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/37 "2007-11-09T19:05:37Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] Wait! Glinda has ‘balls’?? She’s a MAN??? Glinda the Good Witch is really just a drag queen?? OMG that’s just…well, actually it’s totally believable. And it makes me chuckle. 😛 [/QUOTE] Oh, yeah. I definitely know quite a few drag queens who’d kill to actually be Billie Burke…well, Billie Burke still alive and fairly young, not Billie Burke a-mold’rin’ in her grave. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/38 "2007-11-09T20:22:56Z")
\*also a Stand By Me reference. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/39 "2007-11-09T20:52:41Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] Wait! Glinda has ‘balls’?? She’s a MAN??? Glinda the Good Witch is really just a drag queen?? OMG that’s just…well, actually it’s totally believable. And it makes me chuckle. 😛 [/QUOTE] Someone needs to work in a good reference to Ed Wood’s “Glen or Glenda” now. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595/40 "2007-11-09T21:10:53Z")
[QUOTE=42fish] Someone needs to work in a good reference to Ed Wood’s “Glen or Glenda” now. [/QUOTE] [Um…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9156348&postcount=20) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wizard-of-oz-the-glinda-conspiracy-theory/425595.md?page=1)