# Woman attempts to use fake 1 Million Dollar Bill at Wal\*mart **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485 "2004-03-10T14:53:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/21 "2004-03-10T19:33:54Z")
Her husband gave her the bills. $3,000,000 and I bet he _still_ didn’t get a blow job. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/22 "2004-03-10T19:59:04Z")
The Statue of Liberty is the portrait on the bill. Wouldn’t you just love to be a bug on the wall at the police station during all of this? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/23 "2004-03-10T20:53:09Z")
> [@tangochick](#): > > Thanks, htns. It’s nice to find a place to get away from the inane parts of life. 🙂 > > I’d love to see someone bring ME a million dollar bill. As a teller I’ve seen counterfeit 20’s and 50’s and 100’s. Some of them you wonder how they even got into circulation they’re so obvious! I had a really sad situation with a counterfeit $20 when I was a cashier at Wal-Mart. A well-dressed middle aged couple came to my register with a smallish purchase, and the wheelchair bound, elderly and obvously senile father of one of the pair clutching the bill in his hand. I spotted it as fake before it was even handed to me. The thing was teal. At first, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt- it might have been washed with a brand-new article of teal clothing and absorbed some dye. But then I touched it. It was smooth and glossy, like the old cheap Xerox paper. The edges were obviously hand cut, as I saw when I uncrumpled the bill. When I told the couple the bill wasn’t going to fly they acted indignant. “What’s wrong with it?” the husband demanded. “Well, for starters, it looks like some kid ran it off on a photocopier.” Hubby then goes into this song and dance about how Dad had just gotten out of the hospital, and someone at the hospital must have gone through his wallet and replaced his real bill with the counterfieit. Yeah, right. The poor old man was obviously not capable of being able to select a bill and hand it to the cashier at the store- the hubby had to take it from his hand and give it to me, so obviously one of the couple would have had to hand him the “money” in the first place before coming to the register. And there was no way anyone who had an idea of what American currency looks and feels like could have mistaken this bill for a genuine one. For me the saddest part was the fact that this couple was using this sick and crippled old man who could not have comprehended what was going on as a prop in their little scam. For God’s sake, let the old man spend his last years on earth with some dignity. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/24 "2004-03-10T21:12:24Z")
Is this story for real? “Alice Regina” has a heavier 5 o’clock shadow than I do. If that’s a woman, she’s got some hormone issues. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/25 "2004-03-10T21:18:41Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > _“Can someone please help me carry my change out to the car?”_ We’re a little short on ones. Can I give you a $999,900 bill and some twenties? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/26 "2004-03-10T22:49:13Z")
> [@Thea Logica](#): > > When I told the couple the bill wasn’t going to fly they acted indignant. “What’s wrong with it?” the husband demanded. “Well, for starters, it looks like some kid ran it off on a photocopier.” Hubby then goes into this song and dance about how Dad had just gotten out of the hospital, and someone at the hospital must have gone through his wallet and replaced his real bill with the counterfieit. That’s hilarious. They wanted you to believe that a crook would steal your money _and_ replace it with a counterfeit? And a thief would do that because…? So I take it you didn’t call the cops? ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/27 "2004-03-11T00:19:48Z")
This woman looks somewhat pleased in her mugshot… ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/28 "2004-03-11T00:22:08Z")
> [@htns](#): > > That woman is obviously so far gone, she actually thought those bills were real? Seriously, that IS sad. I strongly doubt that she believed the bill was real. She was almost certainly desperate and trying to pull a fast one, though it’s hard to say whether she was desperate for more crack or a 55-gallon drum of mayonnaise. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/29 "2004-03-11T03:19:52Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > “Yes, Your Honor, my client would like to plead ‘Not Guilty’ on grounds of mind-boggling stupidity.” If that were a defense the prisons would be empty. ---
**Author:** ![HomerIU](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HomerIU](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HomerIU)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/30 "2004-03-11T03:30:07Z")
This story is so incredibly stupid that it makes my brain hurt. I don’t know which is the worst part of the whole story. First, there is the fact the woman even tried to pass off a MILLION dollar bill. Second, she goes to WAL-MART to try and do this. Now I could give her the benefit of the doubt and explain this away by saying she knew the Wal-Mart workers are not likely to be the brightest in the bunch (no offense if anyone works there, but it is hardly a huge collection of MENSA memebers that are attracted as employees). Third, she spen $1600 at Wal\_mart? On what, for Christ’s sake. I hope to God there was some expensive electronics in their because I cannot imagine what kind of incredible crap $1600 worth of Wal-Mart merchandise would add up to. Finally, how on earth did she think that in the ENTIRE store they would ever have enough change to give her, let alone in a register. ``` Come on, she knew it was fake. Anyone with an IQ above about 70 would know its fake. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/31 "2004-03-11T03:48:31Z")
…that this story could be any better. And that’d be if the WalMart clerk took the bill and spent the the next umpteen minutes holding up the checkout line while she marked it with one of those pens, held it up to the light to look for the security band, and then gave back the wrong change. Actually, I’ll bet all of that happened, 'cept for the change part. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/32 "2004-03-11T04:46:29Z")
I’m strongly suspecting serious mental retardation here. Think about this … how young would you have to be before either of these conditions could be true: 1. Your husband who has shown no sign of wealth now has 3 one million dollar bills to give you to spend wherever you like 2. You have three fake million dollar bills so the way to pass them is to go to a low-end retail outlet. I would guess your average ten-year-old would entertain some doubts, but might just try it. Twelve? No way. Given the utter hoplessness of getting away with the crime, I think it would be fair to say we’re probably dealing with some diminished capacity here. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/33 "2004-03-11T14:06:07Z")
[The story continues.](http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/0304/11fakebill.html) You know, it occurs to me she might be able to beat a forgery rap. Doesn’t forgery require you to copy something _real_? Fraud is another matter altogether. I think that’s what they need to indict her for. We just can’t get a break here in Georgia as far as our news is concerned. We’ve got Ray Brent Marsh (the crematory guy), the no-brainer basketball exam, and now this all making the national news in the last week. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/34 "2004-03-11T15:14:31Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > Who’s picture was on it? > Nixon? All of them. They’re having a party. Jimmy Carter’s passed out on the couch. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/35 "2004-03-11T16:19:09Z")
The story **Labdad** linked to says she has a Mental Disorder and her estranged husband is a coin collector. I think it’s plausible that she thought she had a rare or obsolete bill because her judgement was a little “askew”. The Wal\*Fart employee said she tried to pay with the fake bill and get change… But think about it, she may have presented the bill with uncertainty, saying “This is all I’ve got… Can I get change?” with intentions that were more along the lines of “I have this weird bill. Is it worth anything? Can I get change?” If the cashier had said “no, this is a fake bill from a novelty store” then maybe that’s really all she needed to hear. Her intentions may not have been criminal. I think it’s sad. ---
**Author:** ![CloudCar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@CloudCar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CloudCar)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485/36 "2004-03-11T18:57:28Z")
It sounds to me like she was just being a smart-ass. I used to have a novelty million dollar bill. I knew some of the clerks who worked in stores in my neighborhood and occasionally I would ask sheepishly if they had change for a million while pulling the bill out of my wallet. Maybe she carried it on too long or the cashier had no sense of humor. Or maybe she’s deranged. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-attempts-to-use-fake-1-million-dollar-bill-at-wal-mart/233485.md?page=1)