# Woman behold thy daughter, daughter thy mother, & BOTH OF YOU LOSE MY NUMBER! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427 "2005-07-21T04:15:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/21 "2005-07-21T13:55:55Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Please don’t schedule it on the same day as **Sauron’s**. I’d hate to have to choose… Or \*\*Scylla, Master Wang-ka, \*\*or **Cervaise** ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/22 "2005-07-21T13:57:11Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > This part alone is worth the price of admission. 😃 I agree. I’m sitting here barely able to read the monitor because I’m trying to stifle my screams and it’s causing tears to squirt out of mey eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/23 "2005-07-21T14:04:33Z")
> [@Seeker74](#): > > **Padeye** - Yes, it would be healthy for Sampiro to leave the insanity behind. But then we couldn’t immerse ourselves in his colorful stories. How could I have been so selfish. I’ll go kill myself now. No, don’t blame yourselves for not stopping me though of course everyone else will including me. **Sampiro** , can I autidion for brother in law Billy? ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/24 "2005-07-21T14:06:54Z")
Now would be a good time to tell your sister you’re gay. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/25 "2005-07-21T14:11:39Z")
**Sampiro** I believe you must be channeling Tennessee Williams. I’m enthralled by your writing. I’m sorry your family is so difficult. Your narrative keeps reminding me of _The Glass Menagerie_, although, your mother seems to play both Amanda and Laura. And you; the voice-over narrator, Tom. (Gender is irrelevant, in this case.) Hang-in, keep writing. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/26 "2005-07-21T14:14:21Z")
> [@Padeye](#): > > How could I have been so selfish. I’ll go kill myself now. No, don’t blame yourselves for not stopping me though of course everyone else will including me. Put the .38 down, **Padeye** … ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/27 "2005-07-21T14:15:59Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > Now would be a good time to tell your sister you’re gay. Mmm, the icing on this cake is so damned _tasty_! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/28 "2005-07-21T14:16:16Z")
Just **daaaaaay-ummmmmm**! **Sampiro** , bein’ a southerner I naturally have my own set of bat-shit-crazy-loopier-than-the-town-drunk-on-Saturday-night relatives to deal with, but I ain’t got nothin’ near what you got. Well, I do have the “went religious crazy” great Aunt but still, just ain’t as good as the combo of your mother and sister. I cannot wait until the next installment! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/29 "2005-07-21T14:19:18Z")
Seriously, though, is there any way you can stop running interference? A few “uh-huhs” and "that’s interesting"s might go far to removing you as referee from this little fracas. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/30 "2005-07-21T14:28:04Z")
This is my favorite part: > [@Sampiro](#): > > Messages 12 is my mother’s plaintive almost-too-weak-to-hear call me and the last message is just the sound of her TV playing in the background (but caller ID lets me know it’s her). Not many people can use type sizes so effectively. May I _please_ come to Thanksgiving at your family’s this year? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/31 "2005-07-21T14:35:13Z")
Hew. How you can go through all this and still retain your sense of humor is remarkable. My hat’s off to you. You and David Sedaris know each other? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/32 "2005-07-21T14:50:31Z")
Sampiro, I am so sorry. My mother is very very very similar to yours, and from Mississippi to boot. The only solution-- move to California, Hawaii, or Washington State. Your mom, if she’s anything like mine, won’t pay to call long distance, so you can choose your moments. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/33 "2005-07-21T15:03:02Z")
This thread is like some terrible, bloody, still smoking car wreck. You just can’t help but look. “Look! There’s a head - or is it an arm?” “No- I think it’s Sampiro’s mom’s dog with a cell phone shoved in it’s ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/34 "2005-07-21T15:19:45Z")
> [@Nithotep](#): > > This might be the most brilliant thing I’ve ever read. There’s good money in these stories, I’d bet. I was gonna say the same thing! THis is the stuff great books are made of! I’d certainly be glued to it from cover to cover. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/35 "2005-07-21T15:21:41Z")
> [@Knowed Out](#): > > Hew. How you can go through all this and still retain your sense of humor is remarkable. My hat’s off to you. > > You and David Sedaris know each other? I was about to say something similar. **Sampiro** , have you ever listened to Sedaris? I think you might have a new career opening up before you. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/36 "2005-07-21T15:29:13Z")
> [@Seeker74](#): > > Put the .38 down, **Padeye** … Pffff! A woman’s gun. What? I don’t have “issues.” No, I dont care what my buddies will say. I have the self assurance to use any gun I want. We need to get this on _This American Life_ on NPR. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/37 "2005-07-21T15:29:24Z")
Sampiro, it’s too bad you’ll probably never meet author Augusten Burroughs, because I think you’d two would have\* a lot \* to talk about. 😃 But hey, if you make this into a book, maybe you’d get the chance. I hope you’re feeling well enough soon to finish this wonderful horrible story. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/38 "2005-07-21T16:03:27Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Somebody oughtta wrap her nutty ass in plastic and sell her to Stuckeys…" I totally love this & want to work this into a conversation soon as possible… but what the hell does it mean?!?! ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/39 "2005-07-21T16:09:37Z")
How unfortunate. Family Drama is better as a TV show than a way of life. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/40 "2005-07-21T16:27:22Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > I totally love this & want to work this into a conversation soon as possible… > > but what the hell does it mean?!?! [Stuckey’s](http://www.stuckeys.com/) was (and I guess maybe still is) famous for being an interstate highway icon. They made their mark selling pecan logs – pecans wrapped around a nougat center, if memory serves. They were the forerunner to places like Cracker Barrel. **Sampiro** , man, I feel for ya. I’d offer a place to stay to weather the storm, but it sounds like the area I live would just put you closer to your mom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427.md?page=3)