# Woman behold thy daughter, daughter thy mother, & BOTH OF YOU LOSE MY NUMBER! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427 "2005-07-21T04:15:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/161 "2005-07-22T22:29:21Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Threaten him with a pecan log from Stuckey’s if you have to. Please…he’s gay! He’s heard that one a million times… ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/162 "2005-07-22T22:39:24Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > You’re in the same state as **Sampiro**? > > Go over to his house and make him sit down at the computer to tell us more stories. Threaten him with a pecan log from Stuckey’s if you have to. Oh my dear. I have entire FOLDERS on my computer stuffed with tales he’s regaled his friends with over the years. He is a never-ending fount of hilarious (yet I can personally attest to the veracity of much of it) yarns - God be praised. If you’re really lucky, you’ll get him to regale you with the story of the time he flipped his truck in tiny Maplesville (M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-aplesville…the home of the “Bible Meth Church”,) Alabama. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/163 "2005-07-22T22:42:11Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > If you’re really lucky, you’ll get him to regale you with the story of the time he flipped his truck in tiny Maplesville (M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-aplesville…the home of the “Bible Meth Church”,) Alabama. Stop it! Just stop it! You keep dangling out the carrot, but it’s not like you’re going to let us eat it, are you? Thanks so much. Now I must add **Sampiro** to my list of must-read Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/164 "2005-07-22T22:42:42Z")
Hi, I’m new here (took my guest membership to reply to this). Forgive me if it takes me a few days to become clueful. I want to say that the guy in the next cube is looking at me strangely and wondering why I’m laughing and how long it’s going to take for me to start breathing normally again. If this gets published with the “that’s another story” stories, I’m camping for it. I don’t _care_ if the bookstore won’t stay open until midnight to release it; I’ll camp anyways. They have to open eventually. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/165 "2005-07-22T22:43:21Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Please…he’s gay! He’s heard that one a million times… I didn’t say unwrap the plastic, did I? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kuizelemartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19b73/32.png) [@Kuizelemartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuizelemartz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/166 "2005-07-22T22:59:04Z")
That was a really fun story. I hope you’ll find the time to type out a bunch more stories. No pressure or anything, but how about a story per week, maybe a chapter per day? OK? Good. No pressure or anything. You made me with I was a single gay man, or your neighbor. I am glad I’m not your relative though. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/167 "2005-07-22T23:47:07Z")
For the other **Sampiro** fans who haven’t caught prior installments of his family drama (and I mean that in a good way): [Our Mother is NOT your personal Miss Trixie! Let her retire!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289884) [Mama, I love you… BUT STAY HOME!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316328) And the links in the [first post of this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=262156) Also: [I Finally Sell Myself On the Street](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=322034) [I am so in lust with my married co-star](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=280439) (be sure to scroll down for his updates, which get even funnier) ---
**Author:** ![Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meaty_Beaty_Big_and_Bouncy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/168 "2005-07-23T01:08:43Z")
Can’t.Stop.Laughing.(Can’t.Breathe.Either.) Bravo ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/169 "2005-07-23T03:52:14Z")
Man, I was having the most ROTTEN day… Came home and read this and I just feel so much better. Bravo, my man! Seriously…Sampiro is going to be the next David Sedaris. I FEEL it! If only his sister could be Amy Sedaris. Then again, that would cut down on half the drama… Question tho - how does your sister REALLY spell her name? You’d better look it up before Christmas card season comes along. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/170 "2005-07-23T05:04:15Z")
Major, major, major thanks for the compliments… they were like heroin. I’ll post some deleted scenes or extras later this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/171 "2005-07-23T06:32:39Z")
Way cool … Great stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/172 "2005-07-23T16:05:34Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Major, major, major thanks for the compliments… they were like heroin. I’ll post some deleted scenes or extras later this weekend. OOh! I had been catching up, reading the latest instalments, and I was getting to feel all sad and deprived, knowing that the tale was coming to an end, just as I do when reading a book that I really enjoy. But there is to be more? Thankyouthankyouthankyou, \*\*Sampiro/b] 🙂 You really _must_ write and publish a book or ten. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/173 "2005-07-23T17:44:38Z")
Seriously, write a book. With all this teasing, it’s only a matter of time before some Doper goes all _Misery_ on you. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/174 "2005-07-23T19:35:45Z")
I sent the link for this thread to the folks in an on-line book group, and they can’t believe you’re not published. (And they thank you.) I read somewhere that 50,000 books are published every year. Yours would be better reading than 49,999 of them. Hell, you’ve already written most of the book! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/175 "2005-07-23T20:59:11Z")
**Ferret Herder** , you read my mind and saved me from reading every one of **Sampiros** posts … although I may do that anyway after [del]perusing[/del] devouring the threads you foresightedly listed. (_foresightedly_, is that a word?) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/176 "2005-07-23T21:11:05Z")
I passed the link to this thread on to a bunch of my friends and they were blown away by **Sampiro’s** hilarious story-weaving. One of them stayed online through a thunderstorm to read it all. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/177 "2005-07-23T22:19:54Z")
Count me in as another one who thinks \*\*Sampiro \*\* could publish and sell a lot of books. I’d buy. Think about it. Humor is one of the smallest sections in most bookstores. There just aren’t enough people who can write funny. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/178 "2005-07-23T22:30:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Think about it. Humor is one of the smallest sections in most bookstores. There just aren’t enough people who can write funny. I always thought it was because there just aren’t enough people who will _buy_ funny. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/179 "2005-07-23T22:59:33Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I always thought it was because there just aren’t enough people who will _buy_ funny. 😉 Hey, I usually joke with the clerk during the transaction. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427/180 "2005-07-24T00:24:42Z")
**Sampiro** , is it wrong of me to hope you come out to your sister? Really, really soon? At a family reunion, maybe? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-behold-thy-daughter-daughter-thy-mother-both-of-you-lose-my-number/313427.md?page=10)