# Woman microwaves baby **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062 "2011-07-14T21:50:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/21 "2011-07-15T04:22:46Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > If there’s anything I learned from the movie _Kick-Ass_, it’s that being microwaved is the most awesome way to die.\*\* As long as you’re not the one inside it, of course\*\*. \*Emphasis added No, even then I bet it’s pretty cool. Shame the infant probably wasn’t cognizant enough to appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/22 "2011-07-15T05:43:17Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Hmmm…what to serve with microwaved baby? I mean, white wine or red? I imagine it’s the same choice as veal. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/23 "2011-07-15T07:35:34Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > This shouldn’t be taken the wrong way, but … why a microwave? I mean, if you’re so fucked up that you’ve decided to kill your 6 week old baby, surely there are less horrific ways to do it - that is, a way that would spring to mind a shit-load lot quicker than zapping on high for 3:00 minutes. > > You have to go through a creative thinking process to come up with an Amana Radar Range as a murder weapon. Because the baby was too big for the garbage disposal. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/24 "2011-07-15T08:25:39Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > This shouldn’t be taken the wrong way, but … why a microwave? I mean, if you’re so fucked up that you’ve decided to kill your 6 week old baby, surely there are less horrific ways to do it - that is, a way that would spring to mind a shit-load lot quicker than zapping on high for 3:00 minutes. It just goes to typify the convenience society we’ve created, where people can’t even be bothered to prepare and roast them properly. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/25 "2011-07-15T09:06:46Z")
All of you people are just SICK and TWISTED! :eek: I would’ve thought that everyone \*\*\*knows, \*\*\*that slow roasting over an open fire, is the _ **best way** _, to cook them! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/26 "2011-07-15T11:21:24Z")
You know what’s offensive about the jokes? The fact that they’re so easy. Watch … did she add water to make it’s own gravy? … I sure hope she defrosted it first. … baby goes well with shallots and Bearnaise. … if she’d used the toaster, she’d have had a pop tot. I mean, come on, – some sort of food thing and it’s gold, Jerry, gold! I don’t do smilies, so you’ll just have to imagine me rolling my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/27 "2011-07-15T11:32:07Z")
The only question I have is did she garnish with baby carrots? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/28 "2011-07-15T12:15:01Z")
In case there’s a cross-over thread, may I please be the first one to complain about not wiping down the machines between babies…? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/29 "2011-07-15T13:38:11Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Sounds like a [certain Snopes article](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/drugs/babysitter.asp) is about to get another update. This is one legend I didn’t want to see ostended, though. And Straight Dope [column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/194/did-a-stoned-babysitter-once-microwave-a-baby) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/30 "2011-07-15T13:46:21Z")
Is it just me or does that woman have a GIGANTIC forehead? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/31 "2011-07-15T13:57:22Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > I imagine it’s the same choice as veal. Actually, since another name for human flesh is “long pig”, I would think it would be the same as pork. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/32 "2011-07-15T13:57:56Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Hmmm…what to serve with microwaved baby? Apparently NOT rice: [QUOTE=the article] The couple said they had offered Yang a bag of rice as a housewarming gift and invited her for coffee, but she had rebuffed them. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/33 "2011-07-15T13:59:59Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You know what’s offensive about the jokes? The fact that they’re so easy. > > Watch … did she add water to make it’s own gravy? > … I sure hope she defrosted it first. > … baby goes well with shallots and Bearnaise. > … **if she’d used the toaster, she’d have had a pop tot.** > > I mean, come on, – some sort of food thing and it’s gold, Jerry, gold! > > I don’t do smilies, so you’ll just have to imagine me rolling my eyes. The bolded joke is funny. Did you make that up? The rest of them I take your point on. Listen. I don’t do smilies either. I want you to know you are cheating when you say ‘imagine me rolling my eyes’. Are you a level 4 smiley purist like me? Or a wishy washy type that will eventually break down and post a happy smiley to soften a sarcastic joke? Alright then. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/34 "2011-07-15T14:20:22Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You know what’s offensive about the jokes? The fact that they’re so easy. Not to mention that dead baby jokes have been around for decades, and microwaved baby jokes since microwaves were first invented. I fear for the future of the SDMB if the best we can muster is warmed over (hah!) truly tasteless jokes ripoffs. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/35 "2011-07-15T14:24:19Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > All of you people are just SICK and TWISTED! :eek: > > I would’ve thought that everyone \*\*\*knows, \*\*\*that slow roasting over an open fire, is the _ **best way** _, to cook them! 😃 It was an Asian baby. Hello, people, stir fry? ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/36 "2011-07-15T14:25:53Z")
You wouldnt be making these jokes if she had raped herself then climbed in the micowave. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/37 "2011-07-15T14:50:06Z")
Will a mod please move this thread to Cafe Society where it belongs? ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/38 "2011-07-15T14:56:51Z")
Of course not, **bucketybuck**. They would make no sense. We would be making a whole different type of crude, offensive jokes! What goes good as a side with Baby? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/39 "2011-07-15T14:58:51Z")
Baby bok choi, of corse. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062/40 "2011-07-15T15:03:02Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > Of course not, **bucketybuck**. They would make no sense. We would be making a whole different type of crude, offensive jokes! > > What goes good as a side with Baby? Coleslaw and BBQ beans. I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-microwaves-baby/589062.md?page=3)