# Woman offended by truthful advice from doctor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 24, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435 "2005-08-24T15:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/1 "2005-08-24T15:54:18Z")
[http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050824/ap\_on\_fe\_st/obesity\_complaint](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050824/ap_on_fe_st/obesity_complaint) Um, lady, you’re _ **fat** _. And your doctor was only trying to give you _life-saving advice_. Grow up and get over it. And lose some weight while you’re at it. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/2 "2005-08-24T15:56:08Z")
The truth really is a bitch sometimes, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/3 "2005-08-24T15:56:38Z")
She would have stormed out of his office right then and there, but that first step toward the door was so exhausting that she had to sit back down again. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/4 "2005-08-24T16:00:51Z")
Well, I think we all can agree he crossed the line when she demanded, “I want a second opinion” and he replied, “you’re ugly, too.” ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/5 "2005-08-24T16:22:01Z")
It’s amusing to slam her for this. But, there’s more than is being reported, if the state board is treating it this seriously, I suspect. Just a gut feeling, but… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/6 "2005-08-24T16:24:55Z")
Doctor: “You’re fat.” Patient: “I think I’d like a second opinion.” Doctor: “Okay, you also dress funny.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/7 "2005-08-24T16:26:36Z")
Oh hell, spend too long looking when the link doesn’t work and someone, this time **Trunk** , will beat you to it. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/8 "2005-08-24T16:29:35Z")
The state board is taking it seriously becuase this woman just won’t let it go. Regardless of whether her fatness is gluttony- or genetically-related, it’s still a health problem. And pointing that out isn’t a crime, or even insensitive. It’s his damn duty. Next on Eyewitness News: Woman sues schoolyard full of six-year-olds. Same reason. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/9 "2005-08-24T16:32:01Z")
I’ve heard lawyers talk about the CSI effect on juries – they want DNA and fingerprint evidence for everything. Perhaps Dr. Bennett has been watching “House” on Fox and decided to try out that approach to medicine for himself? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/10 "2005-08-24T16:37:46Z")
**HSHP** , of course, there’s no possible way that the doctor could have used offensive language or terms. No one ever uses hateful language when talking to fat people. Ever. I agree it seems likely that this is a mountain from a molehill, but none of us have the means to judge that for certain. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/11 "2005-08-24T16:39:05Z")
This was from the article (ok, not really). . . > [@](#): > > Dr. Bennet said, “the patient so fat, we had to weigh her on the Richter scale.” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/12 "2005-08-24T16:43:09Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > This was from the article (ok, not really). . . > > :dubious: I suppose it could be done, if one were to make her jump up and down with a seismograph nearby… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/13 "2005-08-24T16:50:50Z")
Ah … here’s some additional background. I think the health aspects in his "lecture "probably went in one ear and out the other, but when he told point blank she wasn’t _attractive_ to men as a fat women all hell broke lose. [Complaint over blunt words on obesity frustrates doctor](http://www.theunionleader.com/articles_showa.html?article=59407) > [@](#): > > Dr. Terry Bennett, who practices in Rochester, said he has “an obesity lecture for women” that is a stark litany designed to get the attention of obese female patients. > > \*\*He said he tells obese women they most likely will outlive an obese spouse and will have a difficult time establishing a new relationship because studies show most males are completely negative to obese women. \*\* > > Bennett said he tells them their obesity will lead to high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, gastroesophageal reflux and stroke. > > One patient who Bennett had seen five or six times took offense at the lecture and filed a complaint against Bennett about a year ago with the New Hampshire Board of Medicine. > > Bennett says his former patient filed the complaint because “I told a fat woman she was obese. I tried to get her attention. I told her you need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/14 "2005-08-24T17:05:21Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > HSHP, of course, there’s no possible way that the doctor could have used offensive language or terms. > > No one ever uses hateful language when talking to fat people. Ever. Offensive is in the eye of the beholder. And “you are morbidly obese” is a statement of medical fact that someone could easily find insulting. But it’s still a fact. If the target weight for your height/age is 140, and you’re 360, you’re morbidly obese. If your heart rate jumps to 220 crossing the street, if you cannot fit in most chairs, if you need help tying your shoes to avoid the risk of falling over and being unable to regain your feet, then pointing out the common cause of your troubles is not insulting. “Peel off the weight that is going to kill you” is accurate. > [@](#): > > He said he tells obese women they most likely will outlive an obese spouse and will have a difficult time establishing a new relationship because studies show most males are completely negative to obese women. Medical fact and study results. Not his opinion. She came to the doctor to figure out why she was having problems. He told her. She didn’t like it so much. You know, just the other day, I crawled into the emergency room with uncontrollable bleeding. I asked to know why. The triage nurse said, “You have a shotgun wound to the stomach, sir. You need a transfusion and surgery or you’ll die.” I said, “A gunshout wound? Are you implying that I’m a criminal?” Now I’m suing their asses for defamation of character. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/15 "2005-08-24T17:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > He says he wrote a letter of apology to the woman when he found out she was offended. I think this was a mistake. Being obese is not healthy, and if she was offended it’s her own fault. I don’t think he owed her an apology unless he was rude, and I’ve seen no evidence yet that he was. Sounds to me like he was just doing his job. It’s like those anti-smoking ads that say things like girls who smoke get more facial hair or produce twice as much phlegm. He was trying to hit her where it might matter in order to help her. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/16 "2005-08-24T17:18:05Z")
**He said he tells obese women they most likely will outlive an obese spouse and will have a difficult time establishing a new relationship because studies show most males are completely negative to obese women.** When I saw that, I just thought, “So?” Then again, I tend not to need anyone, so that would probably explain my reaction. That being said, I expect to be told about my weight, so I guess I just have a thicker skin than some people. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/17 "2005-08-24T17:19:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Initially investigated by a panel of the New Hampshire Board of Medicine… > The board…asked the attorney general’s office to investigate… So the taxpayer’s of NH are paying doctors, and now lawyers, to look into this non-issue? The State Treasurer should send her a bill for the money that’s been wasted conducting this ‘investigation’. That’ll take a bite out of her grocery budget. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/18 "2005-08-24T17:22:40Z")
I’ll admit the “men wont find you attractive” thing was across the line, but I’d just laugh it off as an idiot without tact. I’ve read many articles (…ok, in like Glamour and Cosmo-- but also Time and the like) about how doctors are AFRAID to tell their patients to lose weight. I, personally, would not get offended. Hell, I had this convo with my doc a couple months ago: Doc: Your blood pressure has gone up a little. It’s not bad at all, just be aware." Me: Is there anything I can do? She looks at me Me: Well, besides being such a fat ass :D. Doc: Eat less salt, too. 😛 We both laughed. I started going to the gym more, ate less salt, lost a touch of weight, and all is well again. If she hadn’t brought it up, I wouldn’t have known. And seriously, how DARE that doctor try to warn me of health problems I am causing myself! You’d think I was paying them to, like, EXAMINE me or something. Jeez! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/19 "2005-08-24T17:40:09Z")
It’s all well and good to tell patients something they already know, but back it up with a little action, would you? I get the same thing at the doctor; “You should lose some weight.” (I’m about 40 pounds overweight, and yeah, I know it :rolleyes: .) So, Mr. 500 years of education making $500,000 a year, how about you tell me how, since exercising and eating right isn’t doing it so far? I had to fight hard to get my doctor to refer me to a dietician because, wait for it, I WASN’T FAT ENOUGH!!! I go to see the dietician, and she was disappointed - she couldn’t find anything particularly wrong with my diet and exercise. Next doctor that tells me I should lose some weight gets bitch-slapped. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435/20 "2005-08-24T17:44:29Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Next on Eyewitness News: Woman sues schoolyard full of six-year-olds. Same reason. Then after the break: Woman sues doctor after heart attack, because she was obese and he mention it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-offended-by-truthful-advice-from-doctor/318435.md?page=2)