# Woman Plagued by "Furious Masturbators" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155 "2012-08-30T16:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/21 "2012-08-31T05:20:02Z")
Now if they were masturbating and throwing a penny into a can while having an orgasm, that would be impressive. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/22 "2012-08-31T16:11:01Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Upon reading the preview of the OP, my first thought was, “How is Phuket doing nowadays?”. I was there in 2001 and it was lovely. I heard that it got hit by that tsunami a few years back, and was wondering how well it had recovered. Then you all had to make the thread digress into even jizzier territory than the OP. Although hit, other provinces were hit worse. But Phuket seemed to get the lion’s share of the aid, since it’s more high profile. That is, the lion’s share of the aid that got through, since even the Red Cross admits it much if not most of its aid seemed to have disapeared. And that part of the aid that was not simply commandeered by local officials and sold to the highest bidders. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/23 "2012-08-31T17:27:29Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > And the OP reminds me of something else as well, a story a friend told me about when she was a prison guard in a men’s prison. Yep, she’s female, and attractive (possibly not relevant to the situation). Apparently it’s kind of a game the inmates have when the female guards go doing the rounds for cell checks (or whatever the term is called), that they’ll masturbate and try to ejaculate on the ladies through the bars. Most miss, sometimes a fella might get a lucky shot and that. That sounds like bullshit to me. I’d think she’d get them charged with sexual assault, adding on to their sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/24 "2012-08-31T17:29:55Z")
All I know is the two perps in the story in my OP link need to get a grip on themselves. Oh, wait … But at least she got a good description of them. A couple of “Asian-looking men” should not be hard (heh) to find. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/25 "2012-08-31T18:02:47Z")
I need to get a better sense of the scene. Would you say they were furious masturbators in that they were energetic or they were angry? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/26 "2012-08-31T19:18:30Z")
This is such a double standard. This woman has masturbating can-throwers harass her, and she gets in the paper. When two asian-lookinh women throw cans at me while masturbating furiously, it costs me $200 an hour 😛 ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/27 "2012-08-31T19:23:52Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > You know, all this time I thought bukkake involved pooping. What’s that called? The term “Cleveland Steamer” has some currency, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/28 "2012-08-31T21:09:09Z")
“Furious Masturbators” sounds like a badly-translated name for a ball team. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/29 "2012-08-31T21:26:36Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > “Furious Masturbators” sounds like a badly-translated name for a ball team. Or some side story unsuccessful B-Group cut from _The Inglorous Basterds_. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/30 "2012-08-31T23:46:30Z")
Or a band name! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/31 "2012-09-01T04:34:34Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > “Furious Masturbators” sounds like a badly-translated name for a ball team. > > 😉 I’m picturing it embroidered on a team jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/32 "2012-09-04T14:03:13Z")
From the article: > [@](#): > > "I think people should know that these things happen so they can stay safe and be careful when driving alone.” I’m amused by the word “safe.” It’s hard to imagine being endangered in any way by the sight of “Asian-looking” men (in an Asian country!) whacking off. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/33 "2012-09-04T19:18:54Z")
Several men were charged, but they all got off after greasing a few palms. However, the authorities now claim to have the problem well in hand. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/34 "2012-09-04T19:28:36Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Several men were charged, but they all got off after greasing a few palms. However, the authorities now claim to have the problem well in hand. How’d they manage to pull that off? Let me see if I understand this: This woman sees this all the time, but no one else ever does? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/35 "2012-09-05T02:30:44Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I thought bukkake involved willing participants. The emphasis is on the plurality of participants: typical bukkake scenes involve one willing woman receiving the discharges of multiple men, either simultaneously or sequentially (or a bit of both, depending on how the timing of things works out). ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/36 "2012-09-05T03:53:22Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > How’d they manage to pull that off? > > Let me see if I understand this: This woman sees this all the time, but no one else ever does? [SixthSense]“I see wanking people”[/SixthSense] ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/37 "2012-09-05T12:54:59Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > I need to get a better sense of the scene. Would you say they were furious masturbators in that they were energetic or they were angry? Probably both. I mean, when I put on my Asian disguise and beat it angrily on the side of the road I’m energetic as hell. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/38 "2012-09-05T13:02:23Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > [SixthSense]“I see wanking people”[/SixthSense] [Mark Twain]“The report of my wanking was an exaggeration.”[/Mark Twain] ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155/39 "2012-09-05T17:20:51Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > “Furious Masturbators” sounds like a badly-translated name for a ball team. > > 😉 I did see a photo on [engrish.com](http://engrish.com) of a Japanese little league baseball team with “BASTARDS” embroidered across the fronts of their uniforms… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-plagued-by-furious-masturbators/633155.md?page=1)