# Woman really likes her Jimmy Dean Sausage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644 "2015-10-24T17:36:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/1 "2015-10-24T17:36:50Z")
[Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom](http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/) > [@](#): > > The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/2 "2015-10-24T17:41:43Z")
_“putting in work”_ ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/3 "2015-10-24T17:44:23Z")
I hope the sausage didn’t go to waste. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/4 "2015-10-24T17:46:40Z")
_“victimized sausage”_ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/5 "2015-10-24T17:48:25Z")
The website’s About page says, “[Now8News.com](http://Now8News.com) is on the look for top stories in your area and across the world. We accept viewer submissions so please contact us if you have a story, video or pictures you think are important to report.” Most likely, the story is made up. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/6 "2015-10-24T17:49:26Z")
Snopes says it’s not true, but it’s an interesting story. > **[Woman Arrested for Masturbating with Jimmy Dean Sausage in Walmart Bathroom](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/woman-arrested-sausage-walmart/)** > > Fake news reports a woman was busted for pleasuring herself in a Walmart restroom with a meat product. ---
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/7 "2015-10-24T17:51:15Z")
Yes it is.[Now8News](https://voat.co/v/news/comments/365816) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/8 "2015-10-24T17:52:06Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > I hope the sausage didn’t go to waste. Sounds like it went below her waist. Ooooh, look, a handbasket for me! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/9 "2015-10-24T18:08:28Z")
“Oh no, not Great Value for me. I’m treating myself to the name brand!” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/10 "2015-10-24T18:42:04Z")
Little known fact. Walmart actually has a code they use over the speakers for just this kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/11 "2015-10-24T20:17:44Z")
> [@donkeyoatey](#): > > Yes it is.[Now8News](https://voat.co/v/news/comments/365816) Pics or it didn’t happen! Better still, video! (ETA: I presume the actual problem here is they suspect she hadn’t paid for that sausage yet!) ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/12 "2015-10-24T20:20:19Z")
I had heard on the news lately that Amazon was kicking Walmarts butt because they were allowed to sell sex toys (I know a guy who works there and he says they sell TONS of those things) while Walmart isn’t. Maybe Walmart just found a loophole? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/13 "2015-10-24T20:36:09Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I had heard on the news lately that Amazon was kicking Walmarts butt because they were allowed to sell sex toys (I know a guy who works there and he says they sell TONS of those things) while Walmart isn’t. > > Maybe Walmart just found a loophole? They’d need a his and hers option. Linkin’ patty, ‘wrap yourself around this, or wrap it around yourself.’ ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/14 "2015-10-24T20:36:25Z")
😕 Uh, exactly what is the crime here? A woman inside a stall of a bathroom is engaging in a private moment. Does it matter if she’s taking a dump or masturbating? Its a very private moment in a non-public place. Yes its funny but if true, why would a guard barge into a bathroom? Did he suspect shoplifting? She still had ample opportunity to pay for her shopping before leaving the store. I can’t see any justification for any guard to violate the privacy of customers using a bathroom. Can you imagine the lawsuit if she had been innocently wiping her butt with TP? my bs meter is pinging ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/15 "2015-10-24T20:45:48Z")
nm I just read the later link about Now8News. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/16 "2015-10-24T22:38:22Z")
Was the sausage fresh or frozen? ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/17 "2015-10-24T23:55:17Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Was the sausage fresh or frozen? Hopefully not turkey sausage. ---
**Author:** ![tarrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@tarrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarrel)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/18 "2015-10-25T03:22:32Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > [Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom](http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/) I saw this on facebook and her face made me throw up ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/19 "2015-10-25T03:38:47Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > 😕 Uh, exactly what is the crime here? Credulity? Well, come to think of it, such an act would’ve violated _Kosher_ law. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2015, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644/20 "2015-10-25T03:44:37Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > Snopes says it’s not true, but it’s an interesting story. > > [Woman Arrested for Masturbating with Jimmy Dean Sausage in Walmart Bathroom | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/woman-arrested-sausage-walmart/) Judging by that and related links therein, N8N does not like Walmart. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-really-likes-her-jimmy-dean-sausage/735644.md?page=2)