# Woman wants me to shave my bird and get a penile implant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114 "2003-05-28T20:59:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/1 "2003-05-28T20:59:24Z")
What is wrong with women these days. I am nice to her and don’t provoke her and she tells me this stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/2 "2003-05-28T21:10:31Z")
Um. So is your bird really hairy, or what? ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/3 "2003-05-28T21:12:42Z")
not really, atleast I didn’t think so. She likes her men’s pubic areas to be #1 cuts. So I ran home and did that, but now she wants it shorn clean and my penis much larger. I hope she is just teasing me and not just making fun of me. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/4 "2003-05-28T21:14:53Z")
The implant’s gonna fuck up it’s aerodynamics. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/5 "2003-05-28T21:15:22Z")
Nothing’s wrong with “women”. Hell, I can’t remember any woman ever asking me to shave my nuts and get an extension. Not that I’m bragging or anything. Hey, you could always say, “OK baby, if you wouldn’t mind getting \”. If she refuses, you’re off the hook. If she goes for it, Please note the above wa ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/6 "2003-05-28T21:15:32Z")
[What’s good for the goose](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3432890#post3432890)… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/7 "2003-05-28T21:16:42Z")
Oh. Bird is apparently slang for your penis, yes? Because otherwise, I wasn’t really understanding this. Tell her your penis is already larger than average; her problem must be that she has an overlarge hootchie-coo. ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/8 "2003-05-28T21:18:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*[What’s good for the goose](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3432890#post3432890)… \*\* Okay, understandeable. I would understand if she was getting alot of action lately but she hasn’t had sex in 2 years and she demands I have a very very trimmed pubic area and more penis…I think she was joking about the penis thing. When did women get all hung up on the pubic hairs? ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/9 "2003-05-28T21:19:54Z")
She is 6’1" tall and I’m only 5"7"…so that might explain a few things. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/10 "2003-05-28T21:20:10Z")
Goddam fumblefingers I am. Let’s try again. Nothing’s wrong with “women”. Hell, I can’t remember any woman ever asking me to shave my nuts and get an extension. Not that I’m bragging or anything. Hey, you could always say, “OK baby, if you wouldn’t mind getting \”. If she refuses, you’re off the hook. If she goes for it, score! Note: the above was written by my alter ego, Insensitive Man, and in no way reflects the attitude or behavior of El\_Kabong, Inc. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/11 "2003-05-28T21:21:48Z")
Well which is it… are you 5 inches or 7? ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/12 "2003-05-28T21:21:52Z")
The thing is, I don’t tease her about her huge ass…even though I could easily do that. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/13 "2003-05-28T21:32:22Z")
What the fuck is the OP talking about? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/14 "2003-05-28T21:38:48Z")
If she’s asking him to get his knob extended, lieu, I’m venturing neither. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/15 "2003-05-28T21:45:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*The implant’s gonna fuck up it’s aerodynamics. \*\* True. That’s why you go for the deluxe model with the spoiler and air dam. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/16 "2003-05-28T21:48:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \* > \*\*True. That’s why you go for the deluxe model with the spoiler and air dam. > > 😃 \*\* Don’t forget the new oversized exhaust pipe! ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/17 "2003-05-28T21:50:36Z")
Schoooooooools out for summer! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/18 "2003-05-28T21:51:35Z")
I’ve got two suggestions for you, **intarweb man** , and they’re based on mutually exclusive (and contradictory) suppositions: 1. Break off the relationship immediately. It’s doomed to failure if both of you actually have the opinion of the other that you’re demonstrating in this thread. Both of you should swear off relationships with anything more evolved than sea monkeys until you can appreciate another person. 2. Stop posting to this message board until your mental age and maturity exceed that of your shoe size. Because, frankly, it appears you’re making this whole scenario up as a way to yank chains. ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/19 "2003-05-28T22:02:38Z")
Would that make him/her a yanker? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/20 "2003-05-28T22:04:49Z")
Less pubic hair can make the penis look bigger, no? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114.md?page=2)