# Woman wants me to shave my bird and get a penile implant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114 "2003-05-28T20:59:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/21 "2003-05-28T22:28:55Z")
You have to be very careful with those implants… put one meant for a European in an African bird, and everything goes all to hell… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/22 "2003-05-28T22:30:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by intarweb man \* > \*\*I hope she is just teasing me and not just making fun of me. \*\* If she’s not, I’m sure others will be along soon to do that for her. ---
**Author:** ![siberia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/siberia/32/9129_2.png) [@siberia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/siberia)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/23 "2003-05-28T22:54:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*The implant’s gonna fuck up it’s aerodynamics. \*\* 😃 That’s the funniest damn thing I’ve read all week. To bad I’m too shy and retiring to use it as a sig line. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/24 "2003-05-28T23:03:55Z")
I wonder if **intarweb man** and his shaved bird are posting from an [interweb machine](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=184591)? ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/25 "2003-05-28T23:04:04Z")
Is that an African swallow or a European swallow? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/26 "2003-05-28T23:08:43Z")
Agree with Sauron, but FYI, a shorn peepee yields fellatio in extremis. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/27 "2003-05-28T23:09:46Z")
Are you sure it’s a swallow? Maybe it’s a spit. ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/28 "2003-05-29T14:02:57Z")
I knew this thread was a bad idea. I think I’ll just get her when she’s drunk again. I almost had her last weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/29 "2003-05-29T15:04:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by black455 \* > \*\*You have to be very careful with those implants… put one meant for a European in an African bird, and everything goes all to hell… \*\* “Bloody hell… they’ve gone back to metric…” ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/30 "2003-05-29T15:11:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*Schoooooooools out for summer! 🆒 \*\* No kidding- mark me down as :dubious: on this one. ---
**Author:** ![intarweb\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@intarweb\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/intarweb_man)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/31 "2003-05-29T15:47:28Z")
so I’m walking past her house this morning with a bag of beer and I see her washing her car in this tight little track outfit…so of course I cat call her and this old lady turns around and says “Oh! I thought you were whistling at me” of course I said “I was” …she kind of hurried up her pace a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/32 "2003-05-29T16:50:35Z")
I’m not sure what the hell is going on with **intarweb man** but he sure is amusing. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/33 "2003-05-29T16:51:16Z")
One time, my mother’s breast was poking out of her shirt and she didn’t know. I thoght she was doing it on purpose to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/34 "2003-05-29T17:45:28Z")
It is funny the first time but when that second one falls out it gets kinda old. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/35 "2003-05-29T17:53:01Z")
I wouldn’t mind the suggestion of penile implants if they have nice foliage and don’t require lots of maintenance-that’s why I tend to go for perennials, you know. The thought of a shaved bird is an odd one-my conure would object a lot, I’d expect. Sam is quite lovely in full feather, so why would I want to shave him? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/36 "2003-05-29T18:07:54Z")
Well thay have those [featherless chickens](http://www.planetsave.com/ViewStory.asp?ID=2548) maybe that would satisfy her. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/37 "2003-05-29T18:24:27Z")
What is a bag of beer, how much does it cost, and where can I get one? I think any veterinarian would be able to both shave the fowl and give it an implant. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/38 "2003-05-29T18:50:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by intarweb man \* > \*\*so I’m walking past her house this morning with a bag of beer and I see her washing her car in this tight little track outfit…so of course I cat call her and this old lady turns around and says “Oh! I thought you were whistling at me” > > of course I said “I was” …she kind of hurried up her pace a bit. \*\* Here in the States, beer comes in bottles.😃 I’ve heard of a box of wine, but never a bag of beer. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/39 "2003-05-29T19:09:23Z")
This is the funniest goddamn thread ever. I hate having to cover my face at work like I’m tired so they won’t know I’m laughing. This really got me: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*I wonder if **intarweb man** and his shaved bird are posting from an [interweb machine](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=184591)? \*\* And also > [@](#): > > bag of beer (tears are rolling down my face) What the shit is that? Bwhaaaa!!! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114/40 "2003-05-29T19:14:03Z")
> [@](#): > > …a bag of beer Had the little old lady been drinking? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-wants-me-to-shave-my-bird-and-get-a-penile-implant/178114.md?page=3)