# Woman, your dog neither speaks nor understands English. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2010, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367 "2010-08-16T00:45:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DHMO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@DHMO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DHMO)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/41 "2010-08-17T22:09:40Z")
I have two Siberian Huskies, 4 and 5 years old. They are so smart…sometimes too smart for their own good. They remember _everything!_ You can see their brains working to puzzle out a problem. In their native environment (the Chukchi peninsula in the Siberian Arctic) they had to literally pull their weight. Part of their breeding was for independent problem-solving skills. As others have mentioned, I do not believe dogs (or other animals, for that matter) _understand_ English, or any other language, spoken or spelled. They can make an _association_ between some cue, verbal or otherwise, and an expected response. If they have been consistently rewarded for eagerly going to the door whenever their human asks, “Walk?” by getting to go outside for a walk, they associate that word, or its spelling, or any other euphemism with the desired activity. You could just as easily substitute any other word, phrase, expression or gesture, and the dog will just as readily learn the desired behavior, because he or she makes the connection between the stimulus and the desired response. I talk to my dogs, not because they understand me, but because they seem to enjoy the attention and interaction with their human. Huskies, for the most part, don’t bark, but they do “vocalize”, which some call “yodelling”. They look you right in the eye, and they have such an earnest expression on their face, that you can believe they are trying very hard to communicate something to you, but _you’re just not getting it!_ But, like the OP, I find it annoying when people who have obviously _not_ taken the time to properly socialize their dogs, or taught them basic good citizenship, take them out in public and when their animal misbehaves, act like “There’s nothing I can do with him!” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/42 "2010-08-17T23:07:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > So then with “W-A-L-K” for example, you would agree that the dog is probably learning that as a word, and not as four distinct letters that are making up the spelling of a word. So even if your dog processes “W-A-L-K” as a word, and has learned that Simone is her name, you’re not going to be able to walk up to her one day and go “S-I-M-O-N-E, come here!” and have her come running. I dunno, maybe if your dog is Brian Griffin, but then you’ve got other problems, like your dog being an alcoholic who wants to bone your wife. Which is how kids learn to spell at the beginning also. My late border collie/cocker mix not only knew 50 words at least, but was able to generalize. We trained him to sit at corners before we crossed the street. When he decided he wanted to cross in the middle of the block to sniff something on the other side, he would sit to tell us he wanted to cross. Guide dogs get trained to disobey their partners and not let them cross the street when traffic is coming. That represents a fairly sophisticated analysis of the environment. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/43 "2010-08-18T01:13:13Z")
You’re right. A dog’s ability to read is exactly the same as that of a child. In fact, my dog taught my kid to read. My dog also addresses me by my first name, and scoops up his own shit on walks. ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/44 "2010-08-18T01:22:06Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > You’re right. A dog’s ability to read is exactly the same as that of a child. In fact, my dog taught my kid to read. My dog also addresses me by my first name, and scoops up his own shit on walks. Man, even the DOGS here on the Dope are gifted? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/45 "2010-08-18T04:17:28Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > … Poodles are smart enough to _really_ knock off the curve: they don’t have tricks… Because they’re too smart. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/46 "2010-08-18T04:55:27Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > > [@John\_DiFool](#): > > > > The above canines obviously have been poorly trained (if that’s what you call it), but several of the dogs I’ve had in my life have had vocabularies of dozens of words. This has been demonstrated in the laboratory with bright breeds like Border Collies (to control for the “Clever Hans” effect), where you can say, “Go get the **green striped gorilla** ” out of a pile of dog toys, and they can easily do so. > > I thought dogs were colourblind? I think you’re right, it’s not that they see that the gorilla has green stripes, they learn the toy by the name. Though I had two identical toys, one was pink, one was blue, and I could say “blue thing!” or “pink thing”! And she could get the right color. I have no clue how. For herding breeds like Border Collies, I’ve read that they have a vocabulary akin to that of a young human 2-3 years old, approximately 700 words. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/47 "2010-08-18T05:06:14Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > [@CanvasShoes](#): > > > > She’s brilliant! :D. She also understands spelling. > > LOL. Are you serious? Your dog can fucking spell? Gee, one would think the fake “bragging” coding, the smilies and the REST of the post explaining it would have tipped you off. No, she knows “how to spell” the way most dogs know how to spell. Spelling, of any kind (whether she knows that particular word or not) means “OOOOH something fun will happen!” in her little dog brain. She probably picked this up because she’s heard us spell words we didn’t want her to go ballistic over before we had a chance to take her. So, as I explained in my\* first \*post, it’s the cadence of it. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/48 "2010-08-18T13:08:41Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > [@E-Sabbath](#): > > > > MOL, you never had a dog learn what ‘W-A-L-K’ means from context? Even a Golden can do that. > > A dog might learn “Hey, these sounds mean to do this action” through context, but your dog can’t spell, can’t read, can’t type, and has no idea what you’re talking about when you ask “Who’s a good boy?” but suspects you might want to play, which is why you’re all in his face, petting him. Hey now, what are you doing bringing facts and logic in here? Now if you will excuse me, I have to drive my owner to work before I go to the groomer. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/49 "2010-08-18T15:19:25Z")
> [@Spit](#): > > > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > > A dog might learn “Hey, these sounds mean to do this action” through context, but your dog can’t spell, can’t read, can’t type, and has no idea what you’re talking about when you ask “Who’s a good boy?” but suspects you might want to play, which is why you’re all in his face, petting him. > > Hey now, what are you doing bringing facts and logic in here? > Now if you will excuse me, I have to drive my owner to work before I go to the groomer. Dogs probably can’t spell (which by itself wouldn’t keep them from getting jobs at the Washington Post, apparently) but they really can understand actual English words, and actual real scientists have shown it, despite the “facts” and “logic” from people who seem to be emotionally invested in disputing the science. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/50 "2010-08-18T15:23:32Z")
Nobody ever said that dogs can’t understand words. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/51 "2010-08-18T17:51:04Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Nobody ever said that dogs can’t understand words. I’m sorry, I though _I_ understood words. > [@phouka](#): > > Daft Bitch, lemme 'splain something to you. Your dogs do not understand your words. They hear their name, and then it’s just a lot of blah blah blah. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > A dog might learn “Hey, these sounds mean to do this action” through context, but your dog can’t spell, can’t read, can’t type, and has no idea what you’re talking about ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/52 "2010-08-18T17:59:55Z")
I said they can’t learn words? You quoted me saying dogs can’t spell or read, which they can’t, and they don’t know what you’re talking about when you’re jabbering at it. It’s a fucking dog. For bonus material, I also said this: [QUOTE=me] So then with “W-A-L-K” for example, you would agree that the dog is probably learning that as a word, and not as four distinct letters that are making up the spelling of a word. So even if your dog processes “W-A-L-K” as a word, and has learned that Simone is her name, you’re not going to be able to walk up to her one day and go “S-I-M-O-N-E, come here!” and have her come running. [/QUOTE] Re the OP: I think it’s pretty clear if you read the whole thing that the OP knows dogs can understand some words (he even said he gives his dog short, simple commands using --you guessed it!-- words), but it’s pure silliness to think your dog understands the big, long lecture you’re giving it. It does not, hence the pitting of Daft Bitch who thinks her pet understands the “ongoing discussion” she is attempting to have with it. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/53 "2010-08-18T21:19:45Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > > [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > > > I don’t think I will ever know if my cat can understand English. Her response to anything I do is a contemptuous, disdainful glare. > > Oh, she understands all right my friend, I think we can be sure of that… 🙂 Well, she gives the same glare to everyone, incuding our other cat (although, he usually deserves it. Not alot of branches in the ol’ family tree there) so at least i am in good company. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/54 "2010-08-18T21:59:37Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > That’s pretty much how I talk to my cat. > > Since getting cats to do what you want is…difficult…I figure there’s no point in pretending there’s a more effective option. [False](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_gun). ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/55 "2010-08-18T23:54:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > You’re right. A dog’s ability to read is exactly the same as that of a child. In fact, my dog taught my kid to read. My dog also addresses me by my first name, and scoops up his own shit on walks. What part of “at the beginning” didn’t you understand? You think kids start to read by sounding out letters and putting them together? They start by memorizing the makeup of letters on signs and stuff - very similar to dogs hearing letters. And any parent who tried to hide something more than once from a toddler by spelling it out knows exactly what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Brunhilda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cdc98d/32.png) [@Brunhilda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunhilda)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/56 "2010-08-19T04:27:46Z")
I am quite sure my cat understands language. Today, she wasn’t feeling well, and she worried me by not eating or drinking. I was on the phone with the vet’s office, and said “she wasn’t interested in any food today, and she didn’t drink. Do I need to bring her in?” She walked to the bowl and ate a bite, and looked back at me, kinda hopeful. When my dad was putting something together in my apartment, she was trying to inspect. My dad looked at her, pointed to the corner on the opposite side of the room and said “Go there.” She looked at him, walked to the corner, and waited for him to say ok, then came back. she’s had a few other winners, but those are off the top of my head right now. She understands say hello to… when she knows the person. She also knows “wanna watch tv?” and has subverted my attempts to teach her to shake by extending her paw and waiting for me to take the cue and shake paws. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367/57 "2010-08-19T14:40:56Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > > You’re right. A dog’s ability to read is exactly the same as that of a child. In fact, my dog taught my kid to read. My dog also addresses me by my first name, and scoops up his own shit on walks. > > What part of “at the beginning” didn’t you understand? You think kids start to read by sounding out letters and putting them together? They start by memorizing the makeup of letters on signs and stuff - very similar to dogs hearing letters. And any parent who tried to hide something more than once from a toddler by spelling it out knows exactly what I’m talking about. Dude, do you just like arguing with people? Do you touch yourself at night disproving points that no one made? A lot of learning “at the beginning” starts with memorization. So? The point, my dear friend, was not that memorization is not a part of learning. I never said that. But children can and will learn the concept of spelling. Your dog will not. Ever. He may have memorized that “W-A-L-K” means walk, and may have learned commands like “sit” and “stay,” but he doesn’t understand that “W-A-L-K” is four distinct letters that make up a word. He processes it as one word. He does not understand that if you rearranged the letters in “sit” you could spell “tis.” All he knows is the sound of the word “sit” means he needs to plant his butt on the floor. If “sit” is the command you usually give your dog, and one day decided to go “S-I-T,” your dog would not go, “Ah yes, he’s spelling the word out!” and then sit down. Your dog does not get spelling. That’s all I’m saying, and all I’ve ever been saying. Jesus Christ. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woman-your-dog-neither-speaks-nor-understands-english/550367.md?page=2)