# Women and cleavage **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892 "2014-06-28T22:16:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/41 "2014-06-29T04:50:46Z")
Why do some women, women who I know well enough to believe that they are not interested in being flirty or flirted with, wear outfits with nnn-minor cleavage in a business environment? My former boss, for example, a woman in her mid-late 30’s, often wore outfits which included trophy-wife platform spike heels and significant cleavage. I never understood why she, or her boss, thought that this was appropriate business attire. Hell, I’m gay and sometimes I couldn’t help but look. I mean, there they were, high tight and handsome. I don’t know why my eyes went there, since I have zero interest in boobs. Og only knows what the straight guys were looking at. The whole situation made me uncomfortable, but I guess men can’t complain about women’s provocative clothing. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/42 "2014-06-29T04:57:28Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > **OP** , just buy yourself some damn sunglasses. Christ. Might as well. If you are staring so obviously and so intently that you’re making people uncomfortable, _you are doing it wrong_. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/43 "2014-06-29T05:08:58Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > […] I guess men can’t complain about women’s provocative clothing. Well, do you really want to go down the “they’re asking for it” road? Even if it’s just a small step? Really? Guys, just keep your dicks in your pants, your eyes at appropriate head level (or at least be discreet about looking elsewhere), and get over yourselves. Jeez. If you keep blaming women for your lack of self-control, then before long there won’t be any free range boobs out there to ogle. Now, do we really want that? Really. This is why we can’t have nice things. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/44 "2014-06-29T05:21:49Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > Are you afraid of my watermelon-ness? Afraid? No. And if your melons need some air, I can be accommodating and blow on them. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/45 "2014-06-29T05:28:24Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Join date, yup; number of posts; yup. And on top of that, he’s a physician assistant. Of all the places to be oggling cleavage, a doc’s exam room is Just So Wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/46 "2014-06-29T05:32:42Z")
This thread reminds me of what Jerry Seinfeld said about cleavage: “Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.” ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/47 "2014-06-29T05:36:05Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Because you’re supposed to be discreet about these things.[If you’re doing it like this](http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lppxsx3FdE1qfeilqo1_400.jpg), you’re doing it wrong.😉 It’s been too long since I’ve watched a Tex Avery cartoon. Be back later. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/48 "2014-06-29T05:45:05Z")
- Sometimes a top isn’t cleavage-y “by default”, meaning when you put it on and most of the time, it doesn’t show cleavage. But by moving around over the course of the day, they can shift around or pull/get pulled in ways that then mean more is on display than intended. This also results in feeling awkward and self-conscious and constantly adjusting through the day, so someone calling attention to it makes it worse. - For bustier women, \* many\* shirts will be more revealing than they were intended to be. Misses clothing still is cut with a B cup as the standard, even though the average breast size in the USA is 34DD (and trying to discount that by talking about how fat Americans have gotten completely misses the point - it’s still a _fact_ that most women have breasts significantly larger than our clothing is cut for). - Connected to the previous point, it’s completely possible for busty women to have two main options (depending on what’s on the racks at any point in time): Shirts that aren’t revealing for smaller busted women but do reveal bit for them, or high-necked styles that often make your chest look very matronly or (ironically) make your boobs look even _larger_ because of the vast expanse of fabric going across them. - (A bit of a tangent away from cleavage specifically, but still about “appropriate” clothing: Often the “problem” is literally _having_ larger breasts. The fact you have two lumps protruding means some people will find your clothing inappropriate/unprofessional, even if there is no hint of cleavage). - One of my musings: Women tend to be shorter than men, on average. When we get dressed, we look in the mirror to check everything out, which means at our height. But something that doesn’t show anything at, say, 5’3" might be more revealing when someone 6’ is looking down. - There is a difference between _appreciating \* and staring. I am not bothered by a guy who glances (even slightly lingering) or even does a quick double-take walking by. I AM bothered by staring, movements specifically to keep my chest in your line of sight longer, blatant evaluation (elevator eyes, ugh) or saying anything._ - My manager at my last (corporate!) job did these things to me and many others. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/49 "2014-06-29T06:10:58Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Which part? The fake-blind-guy groping trick, the high school shenanigans, the sister-ogling, or the Attack of the Boobs? > > You need to be more specific. I was responding to **Zeldar’s** post about unwanted touching of women, as it was a real-world incident of sexual assault. The blind man thing was fictitious sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/50 "2014-06-29T07:47:38Z")
> [@DingoelGringo](#): > > My ex was double D and wore them as much out in the air as possible and always said “what is the matter with that guy staring at me like that. What would he think if I stared at his balls?” He’d probably be delighted. Which, as has been pointed out before, just points to one way in which the Golden Rule fails. Men and women are different, and what’s welcome behavior from (most) women to (most) men, is not going to be welcome the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/51 "2014-06-29T07:57:56Z")
> [@PurpleClogs](#): > > Treat a stranger the way you would your mother, sis, or daughter. What, are you trying to _completely_ kill off our fantasies!? That’s really a step too far, because I assure you, we don’t steal even quick, discrete glances of our familiar females’ goods. That’s what novel, unfamiliar stranger cleavage is for! ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/52 "2014-06-29T10:00:43Z")
In this thread: many straight guy Dopers popping in to make mental note of which lady Dopers mention having admirable cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/53 "2014-06-29T10:17:22Z")
Like we are ever going to see it.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/54 "2014-06-29T14:38:04Z")
I have known some really attractive women (all over, not just the bust) whom I found difficult to converse with, without giving the impression that I was staring at her. And once my sister, then 18, appeared in front of me in a bikini; I must have blushed crimson. :o ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/55 "2014-06-29T14:53:56Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > - There is a difference between _appreciating \* and staring. I am not bothered by a guy who glances (even slightly lingering) or even does a quick double-take walking by. I AM bothered by staring, movements specifically to keep my chest in your line of sight longer, blatant evaluation (elevator eyes, ugh) or saying anything._ > > - My manager at my last (corporate!) job did these things to me and many others. Ugh. In other words, you want your actions to be free of consequences that you don’t like. Sorry, but that’s not how the world works. You don’t get to pick and choose the consequences of your actions. Anything that is put on public display is fair game to be commented on. If it’s appropriate to show cleavage in the first place, then it’s appropriate for men to mention said cleavage. You can’t have it both ways. There is an astonishing number of women who are hypocrites–they think that they should be able to show all kinds of leg and cleavage in public, but not have any reaction from men. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/56 "2014-06-29T14:56:09Z")
Great! We’ll just all wear burqas then. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/57 "2014-06-29T14:58:46Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Great! We’ll just all wear burqas then. That’s the _LAST_ piece of clothing I want to see **you** in, **MOL**! ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/58 "2014-06-29T14:58:47Z")
if women would start using it as a cup holder then you would free up a hand and the people who looked at you would do so in admiration for your inventiveness. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/59 "2014-06-29T15:16:03Z")
> [@occupant](#): > > Why do women like to show significant cleavage, but get ticked when men stare at it? I can’t say for sure; each woman is different. I’m guessing some women might show it in case some 22 year old guy with 6-pack abs and a face like a Rock Star comes by. I’m guessing some of those same women get pissed because they are tired of all those horrible scrubs they seem to have to constantly deal with until the guy described above comes by. So, do your sit-ups, take care of your face, and be 22. Easy. And if she makes the pissy-face that you’re not who she was looking for, remember: Its rude to laugh, throw back your head and say to nobody in particular, “THANK YOU…!” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892/60 "2014-06-29T15:54:14Z")
As my daddy said lo these many years ago, while teaching me to play cards: “If you hold your hand where I can see it, I’m going to look.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-cleavage/691892.md?page=4)